Hell Hath No Fury
by Inthemadhouse
Summary: When Jasper becomes mysteriously ill, his past present and future collide. It will take the Cullen's, Bella, the wolves, and some old friends if he's going to have any hope of survival.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this story is also known as "the little story that could". I started working on it around the same time I started Midnight Run. I had a plot in mind, with a clear beginning, middle, and end, unlike Midnight Run, which has spiraled off in some very strange directions. I wrote 5 chapters, then decided that it sucked and I wasn't going to finish it.**

**Fast forward a year, and I was transcribing it out of the notebook and into the computer, just to keep track of it. Turns out, I actually like this story this time around, and will be finishing it eventually. **

**This story will have multiple POV's, and will be as canon compliant as possible. It takes place in between Twilight and New Moon. Also, if you guys haven't figured it out yet, Jasper is my favorite character : )**

**Jasper**

The cafeteria had become hot, almost suffocating in its oppressiveness. Logically, I knew that the temperature hadn't changed at all, that my body was responding to false signals sent by my overtired brain, but it didn't make things any easier to deal with. It always started like this, a sense of heat that rapidly turned into a pounding headache that could take hours or even days to subside. I could feel it already, each of the emotions put off by the student population like a spike into my brain.

Such was the curse of all vampires with extraordinary mental gifts, or at least those who lived in large groups. Though a vampire's brain was superior in many ways to a human's, even immortals have their limits. I had a rather high tolerance for emotional chaos, having been reborn right into the thick of it, but certain times of the year were more trying than others. Any time before a break or around finals, the tension and excitement would rocket to nearly unbearable levels, making both Edward and me tense and snarky. I love my gift, and would be totally lost without it, but there were definitely times when I wished that it came with an 'Off' switch. It was only the beginning of October, though, and there was nothing that should have been causing the sudden upswing in emotions.

With a soft sigh, I rubbed at my eyes, trying to block out some of the harsh lighting. Why did every school we went to have those horrible fluorescent lights? Always alert to my emotions, Alice broke off her conversation with Bella. "Are you all right?"

Not by a long shot. "No. I'm calling Esme to come get me."

The carefully chosen words told them everything they needed to know. The issue wasn't that I was thirsty and bothered by the humans. If it had been, I wouldn't have bothered involving Esme. It was a short run to the house, at least for a vampire, and I could have stopped at any point in the woods and hunted. No, I would only bother Esme if I didn't think I could get home safely on my own.

Edward already had his phone out. I was thankful that he did, because, even from across the table, the beeping of the buttons was like little nails being pounded into my head. Any closer and I would have been in agony.

Alice laid a cool hand on my neck, kneading the tense muscles. I concentrated on her familiar emotional signature, blocking everything else out. She frowned and touched me again. "You're warm."

That was unusual, as a raised body temperature generally required a heartbeat, but I couldn't summon the strength to care. I shrugged again instead and laid my head down in my arms. Alice continued to talk, her conversation mixing with Edward's. "Maybe you aren't . . . Almost over, you need to get him out of biology . . . Bella, you tell me if you think he's fevering . . . Think it's the same thing he gets every year . . . He won't hurt you . . . I love you, bye."

Bella's heartbeat got louder as she came around the table to check on me. My head pounded in the same rhythm, but for once, biting her was the last thing on my mind. Actually, the thought of feeding at all was making my stomach churn. Bella touched my back first, as if I were a skittish colt that needed to be reminded that she was there, then put a wrist against my forehead. I was pretty sure I was in trouble when Bella's skin felt no warmer than Alice's had. "He's burning up."

Great. Now not only was the entire family staring at me, but the emotions they were putting off were making things even worse. Shrill beeps told me that Edward was on the phone again. "Esme? Yeah, listen, he's running a fever, too . . . I don't know . . . He doesn't look good . . . Probably a good idea. Okay, bye."

He put his face down in front of mine, something I absolutely hated. "Esme's going to call Carlisle and have him come take a look at you."

I pressed my face into my arms, just to get away from him. "Okay."

The bell rang, making me whine softly and force my face down even further. Usually I tried to avoid making any sort of animal noise in public, but I couldn't help it. Someone lightly pulled me to my feet. For a minute, my balance failed, and I had to fall back against them. The enormous bulk told me that it was Emmett, and I leaned on him with my eyes closed until I regained my equilibrium. Big as he was, he was capable of being very gentle, if not quiet, and he kept hold of me while leading me down to the lobby. "Come on; don't want you snacking on the students in your next class. Feed a fever, right?" Despite his jovial attitude, I could feel the nervousness rolling off of him.

No, it was _starve_ a fever. Or was it? Trying to think only made me feel worse. Rosalie rubbed my shoulder, flinching a little when she felt the heat. "I'll tell your teacher that you went home sick. Suck it up, Jasper, you'll be fine." Though the words sounded extremely harsh, they really weren't. Rose and I communicated in our own way, and she knew I could feel the love behind her statement.

Luckily, the lobby was virtually deserted, and we were able to sit on one of the benches in relative peace. Emmett was quiet for about two minutes, which was probably some sort of record for him, before turning to look me over critically. "You look like shit, bro."

As bad as I felt, I couldn't help but laugh a little at his frankness. "Feel like it, too."

He nodded, his eyes focused on the parking lot out front. I couldn't read minds like Edward, but I knew he was hoping Esme would be here soon, so she could fix things for us. "Any idea what's wrong?"

This was about the only time I got any respect from the rest of the family. They might all have better control then I did, and at least half of them were smarter, but I knew more than they did about vampires, period. Of all of them, only Carlisle had spent any time with other, non-vegetarian, vampires, and even then it was the Volturi, who can't be counted as normal. Only I knew how to fight other vampires, or how to behave around them socially, or what to do in case of a bad bite.

So I guessed it was logical for Emmett to think that I would know about the things that might cause illness in a vampire. Logical, yes, but I was coming up short. "I don't know." In the century and a half that I had been a vampire, I had never heard of symptoms like these. Headaches, yes. Even some stomachaches from vampires who fed off ill or dying humans, but a fever and balance problems? Never.

He fell silent again, probably sensing that I didn't really want to talk. I closed my eyes, secure in the knowledge that my biggest brother would protect me. His hand was still on the back of my neck, something I normally disliked, but the coolness of his skin felt so good that I was willing to overlook that for now. He shifted abruptly. "Esme's here."

I had known that already. My body might be giving up on me, but my gift worked just fine, and I had known Esme's signature as soon as she entered the parking lot. She appeared in front of me, crooning sympathetically and checking on my temperature herself. I wasn't sure why everyone was suddenly so interested in doing that. Due to our extremely low body temperatures, vampires are lousy judges of how warm something might be. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times that Bella had been served something that was lukewarm at best by my well-intentioned foster mother.

Hard metal was pushed into my hand. "Why don't you go out to the car? I'll take care of things here."

Emmett stood up with me, no doubt in case I got dizzy again. He stopped at the front door, the stupid school rules preventing him from actually going outside. "You gonna be all right?"

"Yeah, thanks." Maybe. The dizziness had passed, but my throat had begun to hurt, making it difficult to swallow. It wasn't the sharp burn that signaled a need to hunt; this was more of a fullness that made me feel like there was something stuck in there. "See you in a few hours?"

"You know it." He gave me what he probably thought was a gentle pop on the shoulder, but my muscles were sore and I could barely hold back a flinch. What the hell was wrong with me?

The car was parked less than a hundred yards away, barely far enough for me to hit my full stride on a good day, but the way I was feeling right now, it might as well have been on the moon. With painfully slow steps, I made my way to it and curled up in the passenger seat. It felt good to be able to rest for a minute.

Some time passed, a minute or an hour, and Esme appeared again, brimming over with maternal worry. Even after all these years, it surprised me that she worried so much about what would probably turn out to be nothing at all. Hell, I had dragged myself home missing limbs before and had Maria pretty much tell me to shake it off. Esme pushed the hair back from my forehead. "You rest for a little bit, okay? Carlisle will be here as soon as he's out of surgery, and he'll get you fixed right up."

I didn't reply, but she didn't seem to be expecting me to as she started the car. The vibrations from the engine caused some of my headache to go away, and I closed my eyes. The house was a good distance from the school, just barely in the district, and I was hoping to shore up enough strength to get inside without having to ask Esme for help. She was already worried enough about something that would probably be minor. I probably just needed day or two to rest and be away from that school and the two thousand emotional and hormonal teenagers that occupied it. Sure, I'd be fine in a day or two.

"Jasper? Come on, honey." Esme's voice was never anything but gentle, but her worry was now overwhelming. "Jasper?"

"Yeah?" My mind felt foggy, like I was having trouble hearing and understanding her. With a great effort, I forced my eyes open.

Her smile was still there, but there was a definite strain to it. "Hey, you take a little nap on me? We're here."

We couldn't possibly be. Even driving at vampire speed, the journey should have taken at least twenty minutes. Even while I was resting, I still should have been aware of what was going on around me. But there the house was, and my watch was telling me that I had lost nearly a half hour while I was . . . what? Asleep? Unconscious?

Whatever I had been, it hadn't done much in terms of healing me. I managed to get out of the car under my own power, and through the front hall, but just looking at the stairs made me knees want to buckle. Instead I went into the living room and collapsed on the couch. Esme hovered uncertainly, wanting to help but not sure how to do so. Finally, she settled for putting a blanket over me and sitting in a chair across the room. "Carlisle will be home soon."

Hopefully with either a way to fix me or a can of gasoline and some matches to put me out of my misery. When Edward had first mentioned Carlisle coming home early, I had felt bad, knowing that there were humans who needed him more than I did. Now I was willing to do just about anything to stop the agony clawing its way through my body, including begging my foster father to come home.

In another life, a century before, I would have been able to bear my pain in silence, but not anymore. Life with the Cullen's had tamed me somewhat, but it had also made me soft. There were certainly days, though fewer of them now, when I wanted my simple life back. Sure there was a lot more pain, but I had been better equipped to deal with it. Plus, nothing like this had ever happened to me there.

Everything faded for a length of time, until I was roused by soft voices. For a second I panicked, realizing I had been snuck up on, but relaxed when I recognized Carlisle and Esme. Esme's voice was soft, but it still carried. ". . . just been lying there for over an hour. He was whimpering a little bit ago, like he was having a nightmare, but I couldn't wake him up. Carlisle, what's happening?"

The responding voice was troubled, and I could just imagine him sitting there, his fingers steepled in thought. "I don't know, but let me see what I can do with him." Footsteps approached, and then the doctor himself appeared, his eyes boring into mine. "Tell me what's wrong."

Where should I begin? "Everything."

He smiled, even though I wasn't trying to be funny. "What specifically hurts?"

"Head, throat, neck, stomach . . ." I trailed off there, worried by the look he was giving me.

"Your neck hurts?" He reached out and took my chin, gently turning my face from side to side. "Does that hurt?"

I suddenly remembered that a stiff neck in a human was a really bad sign. Of course, any illness in a vampire was probably just as bad. "A little."

His eyes narrowed. "You don't seem too stiff. Here, hold this in your mouth." He held out what I recognized as a thermometer.

It got quiet then, while I entertained myself by crossing my eyes and watching digital readout on the thermometer climb. Carlisle took advantage of my distraction by palpating under my jaw without me giving him any of my usual resistance. 96.5, 96.9, 97.8, 98.2, 99.6, 100.4 —

"Ow! Fuck, Carlisle!" The thermometer fell out of my mouth as I yelped. "That hurt!"

His hand was still resting on my stomach, but he didn't press down again. "I'm sorry." He retrieved the thermometer. "Try again, and this time I won't touch you."

It didn't seem worth it to argue, especially since my outburst had caused my headache to come roaring back. This time I didn't bother to watch the numbers rise; over 100 was a fever even by human standards, so I was pretty screwed. Carlisle looked anxious, though, his golden eyes locked on the display. I tried to shift so I could see it as well, but he expertly flipped it so I couldn't do so. "I'm going to call up to Alaska and see if they've seen something like this before."

My eyebrow quirked and he sighed in response to my unasked question. "I don't want to give you anything yet, not until I'm sure I'm doing the right thing." He put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jasper."

The worst part was, I knew he was telling the truth. Unlike Maria, he wouldn't be cruel for the sake of being cruel. "It's okay."

It really wasn't, but my stomach was lurching again and I was afraid to open my mouth to say anything more. An image of the moose I had taken down for my last meal flashed into my mind, and I pushed it down hard. Food was not what I wanted to think about.

Carlisle didn't say anything else, just patted my shoulder and left, no doubt to spend hours in deep conversation with Eleazar about what his chronic fuck-up of a child had managed to do to himself this time. It was an unfair thought and I knew it. Carlisle had never been anything but patient and loving towards me. Still there was only so much one leader could be expected to take, and I knew I pushed his limits sometimes.

With a barely audible sigh, I stretched back out and tried to find a comfortable position. I ached down to my very bones, a cold pain that caused all of my muscles to tremble. Even though my human memories were blurry and faded, I felt like I would have remembered if I had ever been this ill.

Even in the dim light, I could clearly make out the clock on the mantle. One-thirty. Another hour and a half, at least, before Alice would be home and able to comfort me. Just a few decades ago, I would have been mortified to be so dependent on another vampire, but things had changed. _I_ had changed, in ways that I still had trouble understanding. Still, dependency had its downsides, and I was feeling them now. I would have accepted Esme, or even Carlisle right now, but I didn't know if I could force myself to get up and go to either one of them. Shouting might have been an option, but my throat hurt already, and I didn't even want to think about what yelling might do to my already pounding head.

I held out for another ten minutes, until I started to shake at the thought of being alone for any longer. Knowing I would work myself up into a full-blown panic attack (another not-so-fun side effect of having a gift dealing with emotion), I closed my eyes and reached out, searching the house for the familiar emotions. I located Esme in the basement, more specifically doing laundry, and Carlisle in his study on the second floor. Esme was a little closer, but I didn't want to risk pitching down the basement stairs and landing on the concrete below. While I probably wouldn't be injured, I didn't want to jar myself any more than was strictly necessary. So, the decision made, I forced myself up and towards the stairway.

My hips and back complained pitifully with every step I took, but I kept going. I supposed if I could thank my former life for one thing, it was the ability to effectively block the worst of my pain. I had never counted them before, but I now knew that there were thirty-four steps to the second floor of the house. Thirty-four agonizing steps. My legs wanted to give out on me, but I managed to stay upright by sheer determination. Another fifteen steps had me down the hall and opening the door to the study.

Carlisle was still on the phone. "I'm going through some of my files, but to be honest — " He broke off quickly when he saw me leaning against the doorframe. "Jasper! What's wrong?"

How could I say this without looking like a weak, frightened child? "I wanted you." Even I could hear the needy note in my voice.

He was up in an instant, pulling one of my arms over his shoulder. "Easy, easy. You should have called me. I'd have come down. You need to be resting until we know more about what's going on."

For the first time, I realized that I had been getting ready to fall over. Great, my humiliation was complete. "Sorry."

His face softened. "It's all right. Listen, you go lie down in your room, and I'll call Eleazar back on my cell so I can come sit with you. Would that work?"

It would have been if I could have made it back down the hall to the room Alice and I shared. But my vision was already starting to waver in and out. Abruptly his grip tightened on my arm. "Jasper!"

I felt fuzzy, like I was trying to listen through a head stuffed with cotton. It would have been easier to close my eyes and regain my bearings, but he sounded kind of worried, so I focused on him instead. "Huh?"

His yellow eyes held mine, and I could feel his anxiety increasing. For a moment, he opened his mouth to speak, but then thought better of it. Without a word, he guided me down the hall. Never, not even when Alice was in there waiting for me, had my bed looked more inviting. I flopped down on it, not bothering to undress first. Carlisle kept one hand on my back, a point of comfort, even after I closed my eyes. I would have known he was there anyway, of course. I could recognize any member of the family, plus Bella (whom I was grudgingly coming to admit counted as an honorary family member at the very least) by both their emotions and their smell, but I appreciated the gesture. My mind fogged further, and I relaxed for the first time all day. Secure under Carlisle's watchful eye, I let the darkness take me.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the good reviews on the first chapter. Special thanks to thesoundandthefury, for providing betaing services and making this a readable fic.**

**As a side note, my first two Twilight stories, Bless the Broken Roads and Down a Crooked Path, were both nominated for awards at www twificone com. I don't know who nominated me, or if they are reading this fic also, but a huge thank you to whoever it was! You have no idea how good that makes me feel, even if neither one wins anything.**

**Carlisle**

With shaking fingers, I attempted to dial Eleazar for the third time. I had misdialed the first two times, so nervous that I couldn't hit the correct numbers. I still had my left hand on Jasper's shoulder, kneading at the hard skin. Even though I knew he was frequently skittish about being touched, I couldn't force myself to move. I was afraid that if I released him for even one second, he would disappear entirely. Plus, he had specifically sought me out, so a part of him must have wanted me and my company.

When Esme had first called me, I had admittedly jumped to the obvious conclusion when Iheard the words "Jasper" and "emergency" in the same sentence. Visions of schoolhouse slaughter and decapitated hunters danced in my vision as I pictured Jasper losing control. Sometimes — well, if I were being honest, _most_ of the time — he was just fine, as trustworthy as any other member of the family. Then, for no reason I could discern at all, he would snap and go after someone for something as small as a scrape. I wanted to help him, I really did, but he would give no warnings before it happened, and was as confused by his own behavior as the rest of us afterward.

I suppose that jumping to conclusions was unfair of me, considering Jasper had only managed to kill two people so far, and Emmett had slipped up since Jasper had, but we had all become somewhat accustomed to blaming any slip (or human accident that could conceivably be a cover-up for one) on the newest vegetarian in the clan. Jasper bore the silent, and sometimes not so silent, accusations without making a move to defend himself, nor expecting any apology when it turned out that he was in the right after all. He had never been trusted by the members of his coven before, so why should he expect that we would be any different?

"Carlisle, are you there?" The phone must have connected while I was lost in thought.

"I'm here." I tried to organize my thoughts so I could clearly explain what was going on. "Sorry about earlier. Jasper decided he wanted to come upstairs. He looks terrible, Eleazar, and I'm afraid he's getting worse fast."

As calmly as I could, I went over the rapid progression of symptoms: how he had been fine this morning, but extremely ill by lunch. Upon further reflection, I had to amend that. "He _seemed_ fine this morning. I guess he could have been not feeling well and just not said anything." It hurt to admit that even after all these years, I wasn't entirely sure that Jasper trusted me. He seemed to, but no one could mask their true thoughts and feelings like my youngest (or was it oldest?) son.

Pity colored Eleazar's voice. "Still having troubles with him?"

"Yes and no. He did really well for a while, especially when we were with you guys. But then we moved, and Bella came, and he's regressed quite a bit. He doesn't like change at all, you know that, and all this has thrown him for a loop. Honestly, between him and Rosalie lately, they're driving me crazy."

A gentle chuckle came through the receiver. "They are quite a pair. Definitely twins, even without sharing blood."

That was true. Both Jasper and Rosalie had cool, quiet, demeanors that masked raging tempers underneath. They were both aloof, even within the family, and neither had much tolerance for strangers or upsets in their routines. "Sometimes I feel like he only tolerates us. He likes us, I know that, but I don't know if he's really bonded with us. He likes you guys, too, but he wasn't too broken up by having to leave Alaska. I just . . . sometimes I think he'll leave us the same way, without really caring."

"He's doing the best he can, Carlisle, and that's all you can ask. Besides, it wasn't that long ago that you were telling me you would be perfectly happy if you could just let him out in public without there being a bloodbath. But back to the matter at hand. So we know his symptoms, but not exactly when they started. Given how rapidly they seem to be progressing now, I would think that it's safe to say that he can't have been feeling poorly for more than a day or two. My first thought would be some kind of poison. Does he hunt alone?"

"Sometimes. He doesn't mind having a hunting partner, but likes his privacy, too. Everyone is going a lot more since Edward started bringing Bella to the house. I'm not sure when the last time he went was."

Eleazar was quiet for a moment. "How else could he have been exposed? If the rest of the family is healthy, and as far as we know they are, it either happened when he was hunting or when he was alone. Now, I've never personally heard of a vampire developing an illness through a virus or other such method, so let's discount that for now. We need to get an idea of where he's been over the past few days." He sighed softly, sounding his true age for the first time. "For right now, treat his symptoms and hope his body is strong enough to fight whatever this is. Call me back if anything changes, all right?"

I said my goodbyes and hung up, feeling a little better than before. The thought of poison hadn't occurred to me, but it did make sense. Jasper had the nervous habit of chewing on things to comfort himself, and was probably exposed to any number of diseases though that alone. Hopefully all I would have to do was provide some supportive care until Jasper's body was able to expel the poison by itself. This would be one of those little bumps in the road, the ones that looked like a crater up close, but that we would all be laughing about in a month or two. I clung stubbornly to that hope, even though the squirmy feeling in my gut told me that there was more going on right now than I understood.

"Jasper? Hey, Jasper, wake up for me." I spoke softly and kept a hand ready to grab him if he lashed out at me. I didn't think he would, but I wasn't about to take the chance. Jasper's body was telling him to find a quiet place to heal, and shaking him right now might provoke an aggressive reaction.

I gasped when his eyes flashed open. The pupils had shrunk to pinpoints, no doubt from pain and stress. But it was the color that caught my eye. Both irises had turned a bluish-grey color, something not found in nature. At least not vampire nature. This was a human color, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was seeing Jasper as he had looked a century and a half ago. My voice stuttered and it was several seconds before I could force anything past my paralyzed throat. "Jasper?"

He stared past me, eyes locked on the doorway. Even when I moved my body directly into his line of sight, I couldn't make any sort of connection. Then he spoke. "There are wolves." His tone was grave, but distant, as though he weren't talking to me at all, but some stranger that I couldn't see.

"Wolves?" The entire scene was so surreal that I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck. It occurred to me that I might not be able to overpower him if he attacked me, nor was there anyone in the house to hear me if I called out. Well, there was Esme, but I wasn't going to involve her if this turned ugly. I focused on being as calm as possible so my emotions wouldn't further agitate him.

He nodded in response, showing he was at least aware of my presence. "On the Reservation, there are wolves. They were gone, but now they're back."

That made me pause again. Jasper was well aware of the Quileute/Cullen boundary line, but I wasn't sure he had ever been told the true reason behind it. Originally, I had simply told him of its existence and that he needed to respect it. He had been agreeable, and the matter never rose again. I supposed he could have heard the truth from one of his brothers, but his certainty was striking.

"How do you know that? Did you see a wolf? Because the forest is full of wolves. Even if you saw one, it doesn't mean that it came from the Reservation."

His strange eyes met mine, and I could feel the disdain rolling off of him. It caught me by surprise, as I had never felt that particular emotion from him before. Over the years I had felt everything else, from fear in our earliest days to a sort of general acceptance now, but he had never looked at me like this. One eyebrow quirked before he turned his head to the side. "I know." His tone was absolutely final.

The pale eyes closed again, and I was nearly overwhelmed with a feeling of relief. Looking into them was like looking into the eyes of one of the Volturi. It made me feel as though I were a naughty child brought forward to confess to a parent.

I spoke, more to ease the discomfort then because I had anything to say. "I believe you."

"You don't. But you will." He sounded so certain that I had to remind myself that it was Alice who read the future, not Jasper. Then he grimaced and whined restlessly. "It hurts."

The doctor in me took over. There would be time later to worry about the strange things he had said, things that were probably nothing more than instinctual nightmares born of a high fever and the fears common to all vampires. "Where?"

When his eyes opened again, they were that strange color, but they met mine with the same mixture of apprehension and wan affection that I was used to seeing. Whomever Jasper had turned into a few minutes ago, he was back to his usual self. "Everywhere. Worse." His words were clipped and obviously forced out with great effort.

He shifted restlessly, trying to get comfortable. "Come here." I slid a hand behind his neck and raised his head enough to flip the pillow. He seemed more stiff than before, though whether it was a sign of a progression of the poison or just that he disliked being handled — Jasper had always been only slightly more tolerant of having his neck and throat touched than I am of having mine — I couldn't be sure.

Jasper sighed again and pressed his face into the cool fabric. He didn't seem any warmer than he had before, but with a body temperature approaching 102 degrees, he had to be miserable. He didn't speak, but I didn't miss the tiny burst of gratitude he sent my way. I smiled back at him to let him know I understood.

Looking at him, it suddenly occurred to me that he had yet to ask me what was wrong with him. Edward had, on the phone, and Esme had, when I got home, but Jasper had been surprisingly quiet. Maybe he was afraid to know, or didn't think _I_ knew. I didn't, of course, but I would have thought that he would at least have enough faith in me to ask. "Jasper, son, when was the last time you hunted?"

He didn't react to my calling him 'son' any more than he ever reacted to any term of endearment that came from any of us besides Alice. His head lolled back for a second while he thought. "Thursday."

That didn't make any sense. It was Wednesday now, and since Bella had been coming over, I was requiring all of them to hunt at least twice a week. "Are you sure? That seems like a long time to go without."

There was a moment of silence, presumably while Jasper thought back. Finally he blinked. "What day is it?"

It was those four words, more than any physical symptom, that concerned me. For as long as I had known him, Jasper had never been anything but hypervigilant about his environment. He could not only tell you what day it was, but the hour, even without access to a clock, as well as give a reasonable approximation of where each of his siblings was. For him to be confused about the day showed a level of illness I hadn't previously considered. Even thought I knew he could already sense my anxiety, I forced my voice to be calm. "Wednesday."

He nodded, as if I had just proved a point. "Monday. Back of the woods, near the state line, with Emmett."

The fact that he had anticipated my next question gave me hope that his mental functioning was still mostly intact. "What did you get?"

Abruptly, his face contorted in pain, and he dissolved into a fit of trembling and whimpering. He sounded like an animal in terrible pain, and the sound tore at my heart. I forced myself to act like a doctor and not a parent. "What's wrong? Where do you hurt?"

He gave me no response, instead jerking against my gently restraining hands. His lips had pulled back to show a disturbing amount of teeth as he wheezed for unneeded breath. Seconds ticked by, thirty at the most, each one seeming longer than the last. His hand curled around mine, the grip painfully tight. I squeezed back just as firmly, trying to break through the wall of pain and let him know that I was still there, that I hadn't abandoned him. Seldom in my life had I felt so helpless.

Finally, he quieted a bit and loosened his grip on mine. The panting breaths slowed and then stopped, and his eyes closed. I put my free hand on his shoulder. "Better?"

He didn't respond, except for a small furrow that appeared between his eyes. "Jasper? Are you all right?"

"I feel sick." Even as he was trying to get the words out, he started heaving. The blood he had ingested two nights ago came back up, tinged pink by copious amounts of a white, frothy, substance. It all happened so quickly that I could do nothing to try and contain the mess. Reflex had me pulling him upright even though, as a vampire, the changes of his aspirating the vomit and choking on it were zero.

I waited, one hand rubbing his back, until the spasms subsided into painful-looking dry heaves before tapering off. As miserable as he was, I knew it was better for him to expel as much of the poison as possible before it made it into his system. Didn't make it any easier to sit back and watch my child suffer, though.

"I'm sorry." The words were quiet.

"It's all right. Come on." I took gentle hold of his upper arms and pulled. There was regurgitated blood all over the bedding and the front of his shirt, and I wanted to get it cleaned up as quickly as possible. Jasper wavered a bit when he stood up, but managed to make it over to the closest chair. I went through the drawers until I found an old t-shirt for him to put on. "I'll get you some water."

He would want some privacy to change, even after all these years. With lightning speed, I ran down the stairs and retrieved a glass from the dishwasher. "Esme?"

Her lovely voice floated back to me. "What's wrong?"

She knew me too well, and picked up on the worry in my voice, despite my best efforts to stay calm and cheerful. "Could you bring some clean bedding up to Alice and Jasper's room, please? We had a little accident."

"Of course."

Upon further reflection, I grabbed a large bowl out of another cabinet. I couldn't believe that Jasper could possibly have anything left in his stomach to bring up, but if working with sick humans had taught me nothing else, it was that there was _always_ something else to come up.

Esme had beaten me up the stairs and had stripped the bed down. She was too busy fussing over Jasper at the moment, however, to get the clean sheets on. I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as I watched Jasper revel in her touch and affection, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back.

It was silly for me to feel this way, especially since this wasn't a new development. Jasper has always been more responsive to females, probably due to his having lived for so long in a female-dominated coven. Still, it bothered me that I led this family, had taken care of him for close to sixty years and never been anything but patient and understanding for that entire time, and yet he still acted as though I were a stranger. It was just one more thing in a list of dozens that we still had to work on with him.

Esme suddenly gasped. "Carlisle, his eyes!"

"I know." My yellow eyes met those grey ones again, studying them deeply, looking for even the slightest hint of gold. At this point even red would do — anything but that bizarre color. Jasper picked up on the fact that I was feeling jealous and uncomfortable and quickly figured out the reason. His gaze turned apologetic before he dropped his eyes submissively.

It wasn't the reaction I had been hoping for, but I just turned and remade the bed. Esme gave Jasper a final kiss and soothing murmur, then left, taking the soiled linens with her. We both knew that Jasper wouldn't talk to me if she was still in the room, and I needed further answers from him.

Jasper allowed me to help him up and over to the bed, leaning on me a little bit, but no more than he had before. I searched my memory to remember what we had been talking about before he got sick. Right, we were trying to figure out how he could have gotten poisoned. "Where specifically did you hunt on Monday, other than at the state line?"

I hoped that by repeating his story back to him, it would help him stay focused. He was wavering, I could tell.

"North. 'Most in Canada. I don't know any more — ask Emmett, all right?" His voice was starting to slur. I put a hand on his face, hoping to comfort him in some small way.

"What did you eat?"

"Dunno." His eyes slid closed, and I shook him back to consciousness. "Come on, now, Jasper, what?" I knew that I could get the story from Emmett, but I was missing something important here, I just knew it.

"Uh…half a moose, little bear."

A cold feeling started in my chest, right over my unbeating heart. "How did you not end up eating an entire animal? Did you not kill something yourself?"

His eyes closed again, although the pain lines on his face remained. "No, I wasn't hungry, but Bella was coming, and Emmett wanted to go, so I went with him. We split the moose, then he caught the bear's scent. He let me have a couple of gulps, which was nice of him." He face relaxed, and this time I didn't shake him awake. My mind was far too caught up in what he had unknowingly revealed.

Jasper and Emmett had shared both kills, but only Jasper was showing symptoms. This brought up two possibilities, neither of which I liked. If it wasn't poison, we were looking at an illness in a vampire, something that was previously unheard of. If it _was_ poison, I was about to have two seriously ill vampires on my hands. Either way, things had just gotten a lot worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alice**

"Ms. Cullen, when did the first battle of Galveston take place?" Mr. Sanders sounded concerned, his tone suggesting that this wasn't the first time he had asked. It wasn't like any of us to be caught off guard, and I had never failed to answer a question before. This was something I ought to know, something that I had studied intensely in an effort to understand Jasper better. Jasper . . .

"1863." Bella's whisper was too soft for a human to hear, but I picked up on it immediately, numbly repeating her answer. The teacher looked a little suspicious, but moved on. Fast as lightning, I gave Bella's hand a quick squeeze. She didn't seem surprised at all, just nodded. She knew there were more important things going on than the Civil War.

As much as I tried to tell myself that he was fine, that he had been so mentally and emotionally overstimulated this afternoon that he was showing physical symptoms, I knew it wasn't true. I knew Jasper, knew every nuance of his behavior, and I knew that this was something we had never dealt with before.

I looked won, focusing my gift on Jasper and his future. I had never had much use for religion, but I prayed to whoever might be listening as I tried to touch my mind to his. _Please, God, let him be all right; please, God, let him be all right; please, God . . . _I found him and pushed, opening myself to the visions. For the first time, I saw nothing but static. He _had_ a future, or I would have seen nothing, but there were so many decisions yet to be made that the possibilities were endless. I wanted to go home, but there were only fifteen minutes left in the school day and I didn't want to draw any more attention to myself than I had to.

This entire day had been an ugly learning experience for me. Never, in more than a half century, had I been separated from my mate like this. For so long he had been the only person I knew, and I couldn't risk losing him. Even before I met him, my visions ensured that I would recognize his lopsided smile and his soft eyes, and the way he would quirk one eyebrow (the one with the scar running through it) when he was being playful. Even his name played across my thoughts. There was no doubt that he belonged to me, and I to him. He must have felt the same way, or maybe he was just impressed by my utter confidence, because he put his hand in mine and followed me to a new life without the slightest bit of hesitation.

I should have known that something was wrong this morning. Jasper had been distracted and restless, refusing to settle for more than a few minutes at a time. I had suggested a few ways that we could burn off some of that extra energy together, but he had shaken his head. That alone should have been a clue, because I had never known Jasper to turn down sex. I had asked what was wrong, only to be met by an uncertain shrug. But he had come to me when I held out my arms, and nuzzled up against my neck, purring happily. He hadn't been feverish then, I was sure of it.

I probably should have mentioned something to Carlisle then, but alarms had started going off, telling us to get ready for school. In the end, I attributed Jasper's strange behavior to the fact that Bella was spending the night again and his displeasure at having a human in the house, but now I knew better. How could I focus on the events of 150 years ago, when Jasper was in trouble right now?

Finally, after an eternity of waiting, the bell rang and I yanked Bella to her feet. "Come on." We pushed our way through the crowded hallway, moving as quickly as I could without tripping Bella or appearing inhuman. She grimaced, but kept up, knowing how important this was.

The rest of the family was already at the car, eyes worried as they climbed in. Bella ended up sandwiched between Rosalie and me, while Emmett drove the Jeep home alone. She had never quite gotten over the thought of riding in what she called the 'death trap on steroids.'

"Fucking go, Edward." Rosalie wanted to get home nearly as bad as I did. In fact, she hadn't so much as cut her eyes at Bella all day long. The relationship between what would become known as 'the Hale twins" was something that none of the rest of us understood, but no one doubted its strength. Jasper had respected Rosalie from the minute he laid eyes on her, and it had only taken a little longer for her to start to love and respect him back. Sometimes I think that they forget that they aren't really twins or even siblings at all. Despite all of our efforts, I think Jasper feels left out of the family sometimes, and Rosalie understands that. The rest of us are naturally loud and affectionate, and they need to hold something back.

"Why didn't he call?" I was sure that Edward was talking to himself. "He should have called."

By 'he' I was pretty sure that Edward meant Carlisle and not Jasper. "I'm sure he didn't think it was necessary. He knows that we'll be home soon and he probably didn't want to have to repeat the same story five times." That could be true, right?

Maybe I just worried too much. After all, Jasper had been through hell already, and having survived, it seemed laughable that he could fall sick so quickly.

Bella looked up suddenly. "You missed my turn."

Edward didn't slow down at all. "I'll take you home later. Charlie will just have to understand."

That _did_ surprise me. Despite my best efforts, Jasper and Edward had a rather tempestuous relationship. They cared for each other a great deal, and each missed the other when they were separated, but then tended to argue when they were together. The passing decades had soothed their tempers from full-out screaming matches to a sort of simmering tension. They loved each other — they just didn't acknowledge it very often. Choosing finding out what was wrong with Jasper over Bella's comfort was a rare gesture.

Bella was still my best friend, though, and I touched her shoulder. "We'll think of something to tell Charlie." As frightened as I was, I couldn't stand the thought of Bella being upset, too.

She smiled, but she was still tense. "I'm just afraid I'll be in the way. Plus . . ." She trailed off there, and I didn't need Jasper's gift to pick up on her reluctance.

"Plus? Come on Bella, what?" The ride was almost over, so she needed to spit it out as fast as possible.

"Well . . . I don't think Jasper likes me very much." She sounded embarrassed to say it out loud.

My heart went out to her. It was difficult enough for other vampires to understand Jasper and his issues, much less a human. She had no idea what sort of horrors can haunt an immortal's mind. The worst part was, I had no idea how to make her understand them without either breaking Jasper's trust in me or scaring Bella half to death.

"He likes you; it's just really hard for him." For the second time in just a few minutes, I was surprised by one of my siblings.

It seemed that Bella was surprised too, because her mouth dropped open as she turned to look at Rosalie. As far as I could remember, this was the first time that Rose had spoken to her directly, and certainly the first time she had done so without being nasty.

Rose continued on, as if she and Bella spoke every day. "Jasper . . . well, he had a really hard time meeting new people to start with. I think it's mostly because of his gift, but there're other things going on with him. He isn't very trusting, so he has to meet someone a bunch of times before he can get along with them and quit doing that weird staring thing he does. You know the one I mean. Plus, you're human." Ah, there was the Rosalie we had all come to know.

Bella's face fell. "Oh."

Her crestfallen expression must have moved even my sister's dead heart, because she sighed. "It's nothing personal, Bella. Your blood tempts him, just like it does the rest of us. And — " Her voice rose slightly, and knew she was getting ready to make a point. "I'm guessing Edward has already told you to be a little cautious around Jasper?"

Bella nodded. "He said that Jasper lived in a family where they fed off of humans, so I needed to be aware that I looked a little more like a meal to him than I did to anyone else."

"He shouldn't have said that. By doing that, he made you anxious about being around Jasper. Jasper was already anxious about being around you, and then he absorbed your anxiety, which only made him worse."

"Vicious cycle." Bella's voice was thoughtful.

"Yeah. If Edward had been calmer, then you would have been calmer, and Jasper would have been calmer, too."

Edward looked in the rearview mirror. "Rosalie." His tone was a dark warning.

Rose wasn't the slightest bit impressed. This was an argument they had had at least five times since Bella had first come over, and neither one of them was willing to give an inch on their opinion. "What, Edward? I'm just letting Bella know that our brother doesn't hate her. Would you rather she thinks that he did?" Her tone was absolutely saccharine. I didn't understand how, after all this time; Edward ever thought he was going to win an argument with Rose. It was far better to just be like Emmett and give in.

No one in the family was willing to get in the middle of one of their fights. Even Jasper himself had just given Rose one of his crooked little grins and said, "Don't worry about it, Rose. What's done is done, and Edward is only trying to protect Bella." It was times like that when I could understand how he had become the youngest major in the Civil War. He hadn't verbally agreed with either one of them, but each of them thought he had. Nice trick.

I had personally stayed out of it, because I didn't agree with either one of them. Certainly Edward had made the situation harder, not only by increasing Bella's nerves, but by his own being so off the charts. But the same could be said about any other member of the family. Jasper was somewhat unpredictable when it came to meeting new people, and we had to be prepared for him to do just about anything. As much as I wanted to have complete faith in my husband, I knew better. I had had too many visions that ended with Bella dead. I had shared them with no one, hoping to avoid it happening through careful management. Most of the visions disappeared without me having to do anything, which I took as a good sign. Jasper's own choices showed he wanted Bella to be safe, and nothing I could do would be worth more than that.

So far, things had gone well, but there was one vision that refused to go away. It was still hazy, but getting clearer all the time. It seemed to take place at some sort of party, and could very easily end with Bella dead. The problem was, we had so many parties at our house, both vampire and human holidays and any number of other celebrations I invented during the year. I got the impression that his vision happened soon, but the details still escaped me.

Rose wasn't quite finished. "Anyway, Bella, have you ever heard the expression, 'You act like sheep, they'll act like wolves?' The more you cower and simper and act like a prey animal in Jasper's presence, the more you incite him to act like a predator. The next time he gives you that look, tell him to knock that shit off. He'll respect you for it, trust me."

I agreed. Jasper was used to following orders, and if Bella would present herself as a strong presence, he would understand that and back down. I didn't want to spark off another fight, though, so I just made a mental note to talk to her alone.

The house appeared ahead, and I was out of the car before the engine was off. Tingles raced up and down my body, telling me exactly where Jasper was. The front door was nearly taken off its hinges by my enthusiasm, but I was beyond caring. After all, what was a door compared to me being able to be with Jasper?

Jasper was lying on the bed in our darkened room, his head turned away from me. That in itself wasn't unusual; too much light often bothered him. What was unusual was that he didn't react to my presence at all. He remained still and limp, not even breathing. Scared now, I kicked off my flats and leapt onto the bed. "Jasper? Jasper, it's me."

All of his muscles stiffened and he jerked the way Bella did when she was first waking up. Like his body was unfamiliar and he had to reorient himself. His eyes didn't open, but he turned his face towards me. "Alice."

"How are you feeling?" I wrapped my arms around him, nuzzling the back of his neck the way he liked. His skin was still far too hot, burning against my lips. He pressed back, contentment pouring out of him. "Bad."

I filled myself with as much love and comfort as I could manage, banishing my anxiety. I didn't want to do anything to stress him out further. My hand on his forehead made him purr softly, so I coaxed the t-shirt (hadn't he been wearing something else this morning? It wasn't like him to leave the house in short sleeves) over his head so I could try and cool the rest of his body. He was still and quiet again, apparently worn out just by interacting with me. Softly, I stroked the hair back from his face, stretching my senses to listen in on the rest of the family downstairs.

I didn't need to stretch too far; Rosalie was speaking pretty loudly. "What do you mean, you don't know? How can you not know? You've been a goddamn doctor for more than a century; you need to know what's wrong with my brother!"

The other voices scrambled as everyone fought for our father's attention. As near as I could tell, Carlisle thought that Jasper had been poisoned, but wasn't sure when or how.

"That's what he said before." Apparently Jasper was listening in also. His voice was quiet, little more than a mumble, but I was grateful for it. "He thinks that's why I'm sick."

I turned my attention back to him, only to meet the most beautiful pair of grey-green eyes I had ever seen. It must have been due to the poison, but I had to admit, it was quite a stunning effect. I kissed his throat. "Get contacts?"

He laughed lightly, the sound slightly raspy. "Nope. Everyone's been impressed, though."

"Just think, soon you can go out and find a girl more beautiful than me." I wanted to keep his spirits high.

"Never. Not only could I never leave you, but there are no girls more beautiful than you." His eyes closed again, and his purring became softer and softer until it stopped entirely. I kept rubbing his back, even after I was pretty sure he could no longer feel it.

"I love you, too." The words were inadequate to describe how I felt for him. Jasper was my love, my mate, my everything. I couldn't express what I felt for him in a million words, much less four, but I kept on trying. Of course, none of the words were necessary. Jasper's gift allowed him to feel exactly what I did, so he knew how much I felt for him.

"How's he doing?" Rosalie had appeared in the doorway.

"He's sick." My voice betrayed the tears that my body couldn't produce. "What's wrong with him?"

She came to stand by the bed, her golden eyes dark. "Carlisle wants to talk to you. Don't worry, I'll stay with him."

The vampire in me rebelled at that comment. Jasper was my mate, and at the moment he was unable to defend himself. I couldn't leave him with another vampire who might want to hurt him. A low growl rose up in my throat without my meaning for it to.

Luckily, Rose understood. "Whatever. If I was going to do something to him, I'd have done it last week when he killed my mountain lion, even after I'd claimed it. Then he drank it right in front of me. Pig."

My anger cooled suspiciously fast. A quick glance at Jasper confirmed that he hadn't moved, or visibly reacted to our emotions, but he must have been aware of them on some level. He had never been able to stand dissension among the family, something I had always loved about him. "All right. Just . . . take care of him, Rose. Please."

"Of course." Aside from Carlisle, Rosalie was the vampire in the house that I would trust most with Jasper in this condition. She was not only Jasper's best friend and confidant, but she had very strong mothering instincts. I gave Jasper one last kiss and stood up, laying his hand back on the bed. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"And until then, you're stuck with me." Rose took my place effortlessly, holding her arm briefly in front of his face to let him get her smell. It was a thoughtful gesture. Jasper should have been able to recognize her by her voice and her emotional signature, but none of his senses seemed to be working properly at the moment. For vampires, just like for the humans we once were, scent was very closely linked to memory. Rose was doing her best to make sure that Jasper didn't wake up afraid.

I knew that if I waited any longer, I wouldn't be able to leave, so I forced my feet forward. Carlisle and Emmett were in Carlisle's study, talking rapidly. They seemed to be trying to map Jasper's past few days. It didn't escape my notice that Carlisle continually asked Emmett how he was feeling, as if he were afraid that Emmett would fall ill also.

I must have made some noise, because they both turned to look at me. "He's miserable, Carlisle. I've never seen a vampire look so bad." I was proud of the fact that my voice didn't shake too badly.

He nodded, looking all of his years and then some. "I know. I'm trying to outline a plan to make him feel better. But I'm afraid to give him anything without knowing what we're dealing with, which is why I need you here, to figure out where he's been and what he's been eating. Where were the two of you Sunday?"

Nerves clouded my mind and I found I was having trouble remembering where I had been five minutes ago. "The woods. We were just . . . playing." Of course it had been the sort of play that ended with both of us naked, but I wasn't going to tell Carlisle that. Jasper had been wild that night, setting up a game of chase that had lasted for several hours, before I finally let him catch me near the stream. He had been laughing then, his dark eyes flashing desire and the thrill of the chase. He had crossed the clearing in a few quick leaps, knocking me to the ground. Being the consummate gentleman that he was, he had twisted us as we fell so that I landed on top of him. He had then treated me to a feral grin and —

"Alice." Carlisle's soft voice brought me back to the present. "You say he wasn't ill then."

"No." Now it was my turn to be confused. "I thought you said he was poisoned."

Carlisle's yellow eyes shifted away from mine. "I believe that he was. I'm just exploring all options here."

That was a lie and I knew it. Something had happened to make him rethink his earlier diagnosis. "Liar."

But even as I prepared to say more, my vision tunneled as images appeared before me. Jasper standing in the forest, his head cocked as he went forward. His lips moved as she spoke. Before I could get his words, it dissolved into a pair of gnarled hands, grabbing my mate, who didn't fight back. "Do you submit?"

The voice was papery but soft, almost that of a lover. Female. Jasper shook his head, but without any real force behind it. He was giving in, I could tell. Then, with a burst of strength, he twisted free and bolted back towards the woods . . .

"Alice! Alice, come on!" Emmett was shaking me. "What did you see?"

With every second, the vision faded more. "Jasper's in trouble. Not right now, but soon." Quickly, I relayed what I had seen. "It was our woods, Emmett, I know that it was."

Carlisle jumped to his feet. "Edward! Come here, we're going out!"

My brother appeared in a human's blink. "What's going on? Is it Jasper? Do we know what's wrong?"

I explained what I had seen, stumbling over some of the words in my excitement. But between the words I was able to get out and what he was able to glean from my thoughts, Edward was nodding. He turned to Carlisle. "Emmett, Alice, and I will go. You need to stay here in case Jasper needs you."

I wanted to be the one to stay with Jasper, but I knew that I had to go. The glade I had seen was a bit tricky to find, even with me giving Edward mental directions. Somehow, this was all related to Jasper's illness, and instinct told me that he wouldn't get any better until we figured out just what was waiting for us there.

Hurriedly, I grabbed a pair of sneakers and shoved my feet into them. The faster I took care of this, the faster I could get home. Edward appeared at my side. "Ready?"

"I'm ready."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Jasper's having a tough time, isn't he? It always surprised me that his past never once caught up with him. I mean, he was the Big Bad for a while, you would think that someone would remember it and want to use him for their own means. **

**Jasper**

The seconds dragged on, becoming minutes and then an hour. Alice came, so I knew that it was after school, but my sense of time had become as distorted as the rest of my senses. As always, she seemed to know exactly what I needed, soothing me with gentle words and cool hands until some of the pain receded. But then she was gone, and there was nothing left but the darkness.

I couldn't get my eyes open, but I knew there was someone else in the room, someone strange. Normally I would have warned them off, but over a century of training had taught me not to start a fight I wasn't capable of finishing. Considering my current condition, playing possum seemed like a wise choice.

The strangers shifted and I recognized at least one scent. Rosalie. I whined softly, trying to tell her how badly I hurt, and begging her to do something, anything, to try and ease the pain. She ran her long fingers across my skin, wrist to elbow and back again. "I know. Do you think you can swallow something for me?"

Maybe. With a huge effort, I forced my eyes open and looked at her. Her dark eyes lit up when they met mine. "Don't fucking scare me like that! I've been sitting here worried to death about you."

All I could manage was an apologetic grimace. I knew she wasn't seriously angry, but I couldn't summon the energy to keep up my part of the game. Her hand moved from my forearm to the back of my neck before she pulled me upright. The change in position was dizzying, and I wished she had just left me alone. Something rattled and I saw her pouring pills into her hand.

"What?" My voice was raspy-sounding, reminding me of hours and days spent breathing the smoke created by burning newborns. I cleared my throat to try again, but Rose was already responding. "It's some sort of prescription aspirin. It should help with your fever. Bella's going to bring up some water for you."

So _that_ was what that thumping sound was. Bella's heart grew even louder as she came down the hallway. She entered the room with a quick, nervous, smile, holding the glass with exaggerated care. I tried to smile back at her; after all, it wasn't her fault that she was scared of me or that I felt lousy.

Rose took the glass and looked at the pills in her hand. "Think they'll work faster if we crush them up?"

"Probably. I mean, he can't overdose on them, can he? It'll taste really, really bitter, though."

"Hmm. Maybe not. He's already puked once."

Now I was definitely hallucinating. Rosalie would never speak to Bella in such a civil tone. Either that or I really was dying and not just feeling like I was. Either way, things didn't look to good for me right now. My sister took advantage of my distraction to put a hand behind me head and put the glass to my lips. "Get a quick sip to start with, then I'll give you the pills."

She tipped the glass, and I had never been so grateful for the cool tastelessness of the liquid as I was at that second. I would have gulped the entire glass and begged for more, that was how low my pride had sunk, but Rose took it away before I got more than a few quick sips. "Quit it or you'll get sick again."

That seemed a small price to pay to get some liquid on my burning throat, but I knew better than to argue. In more than sixty years, I had never once been the victor in an argument with Rose. Most of the time, she just kept going until you found yourself agreeing with her just to get some peace.

My hand shook a little when I held it out for the pills. They were much smaller than I anticipated, small enough that I doubted they would do much, but I was desperate enough to try anything. I threw them into my mouth. Bella was right; they were rather disgustingly bitter. Luckily, Rose was right there with the glass and I was able to wash the taste out of my mouth.

We fell into a companionable silence then, while we all waited for the pills to have some effect. The pain, which had developed into a nonspecific ache which encompassed my entire body, didn't stop, but my mind became a bit clearer. Clear enough to be surprised at the absence of the one person I thought would definitely be here. "Alice?" I seemed to hurt less if I kept the words as small and brief as possible.

The girls exchanged looks, obviously unsure of what to say. Finally, Bella spoke. "She had a vision, so she took Edward and Emmett with her to check things out. I don't exactly know where they were going, but she thinks it might have something to do with why you're so sick. She'll be back really soon, though. I promise."

I smiled inwardly at the thought of being comforted by a girl nearly 150 years my junior, but I appreciated the thought nonetheless. I really did like Bella, with her bravery and willingness to jump right into a life that would have had most people running away at top speed. She would make a formidable vampire one day, if Edward ever let things get that far.

Granted, I tried to keep my distance from Bella, which I could tell bothered her, but it wasn't for the reasons she thought. I was no more attracted to her blood than I was to that of any other human, a fact that the rest of the family tended to forget. How could I be, when I had so much trouble distinguishing between the scents of two humans? It was one of those ways that my gift tripped me up. I was used to recognizing others by their emotional signature, which was as unique as a fingerprint. Thus, I had never really gotten used to using my other senses.

No, my issue with Bella's blood could more correctly be called my _family's_ issues with Bella's blood. They were all attracted and aroused by it, feelings that were multiplied and transferred back to me. Without any way of blocking either their or my own emotions, I frequently lost it, something that had never once happened when I was alone, or when it was just me and Alice. That was the price I had to pay to be part of a larger family.

Not that that was a good excuse. After all, I had been dealing with my gift in one form or another for my entire life. It being difficult was no justification, especially when Bella's safety was at stake. So I kept my distance, for everyone's sake. I was still grateful for her presence now, though.

I wanted to ask more, but the darkness was starting to creep in around the edges of my vision again. Both Bella and Rosalie's movements became jerky and uncoordinated as my vision faded in and out. One second, Rose was next to the bed, then Bella was, then neither was, but the connecting seconds were gone.

Rose started humming softly, a lullaby I dimly remembered from several lifetimes ago. I let my eyes fall closed, the room turning dark and silent as each sense failed. Only this time, when I slept, I dreamed.

I was in the woods, moving at a fairly fast pace. If asked, I couldn't have told anyone my destination, but somehow, my feet found the correct path. It was as if my every instinct had come together, including the part that was still human, to show me the way. Landmarks flew past, but I paid them only the barest of attention. There was Edward and Bella's meadow; there was the little lake where Alice and I sometimes went skinny-dipping. I passed herds of deer, mountain lions, and even a bear with hardly a glance in their direction. Now was not the time to stop and feed, not when there was something far more important waiting for me.

The air thinned as I went up the mountain, smells becoming much more clear. I was close now, though what I was close to, I still had no idea. Finally, I broke through into a clearing. On the surface, it was no different from a dozen others I had already passed, but I stopped, standing still and waiting for . . . what, exactly?

Then I heard the voice. It was soft and reassuring, though there was a slight undertone that told me to be wary. A female, but then they could be just as dangerous as males. "Did you hear my call?"

"Yes." The word came out without any thought, though I couldn't recall hearing anything of the sort.

"Do you know why I've called you now?"

I took an unconscious step closer. The voice was definitely female, and becoming more familiar by the second. "No."

"I called you because it's time. You will come with me now."

I didn't want to go with this stranger, did I? No, I wanted to stay here, to be with my mate and my family. Even as I had that thought, I found myself stepping closer and closer, the Cullens fading from my mind.

"No." Somehow the word didn't come out nearly as strong as I had intended it to. "I won't go with you."

The voice laughed, and I recognized it in an instant. As impossible as it seemed, I knew it as if I had heard it yesterday, rather than decades before. I was too close to her now, and when her hand shot out to grip my neck, I couldn't move away in time. My lips formed the name, but she was squeezing me so tightly that I couldn't get enough air to speak it out loud. Her hand was small but distressingly strong, holding me at an angle that made it impossible to break free.

She spoke again, demanding that I submit and that my struggles cease, but I couldn't allow either of those things to happen. Sharp fingernails, very nearly talons, dug into the tender skin of my throat, the pain clearing my thoughts and giving me the strength to break free. I stumbled twice as I hit the woods, still under the influence of whatever had happened in the clearing, but I knew that if I didn't escape right now, I wouldn't escape at all.

"Should we chase him?" Another voice, a male one that I failed to recognize.

"No. He'll come back on his own. He won't be able to stop himself." The voice echoed through the suddenly silent woods, chilling in its certainty. I wouldn't come back here, not now and not ever, if I could help it. I dodged around a large tree, only to feel another pair of hands on my shoulders. I snapped hard, trying to free myself, jerking my body to the side at the same time.

"Jasper, knock that shit off!" This voice was familiar, too, but in a much more comforting way. I forced my eyes open, momentarily blinded by the lamp beside the bed. Still, I would have recognized that attitude anywhere. "Rose?"

"Yeah, your sister, the one you just tried to bite." She sounded pissed, but that was really just Rosalie's default expression. Her emotions told me she was a little bit angry, but mostly frightened for me. "You ripped my shirt."

Sure enough, there was a tear near the neckline. I started to apologize, but stopped, feeling like there was something I ought to be remembering. The details of the dream were gone, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. The harder I tried to remember, the more blurry it became, until I was left with nothing but an image of the woods and a strong sense of foreboding.

Apparently she didn't expect me to speak, because she picked up the thermometer from the dresser and shoved it into my mouth with more force than was strictly necessary. A steady thumping from the corner told me that Bella was still there, but was wisely keeping out of range. Rose turned to her. "See? Say it to him just like that and he'll quit."

What? They must have had some girl talk while I was still out. Bella's phone beeped, and she fumbled picking it up. Bella smiled at us both. "Everyone else is on their way home."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Did they find anything?"

"It didn't sound like it, but the reception was bad."

I waited for Rosalie to make a catty remark about the general weakness of the human race, but she just nodded. Bella turned her attention to me, coming much closer than she usually did. "Feeling any better?"

No, not really. Whether it was a reaction to the blood in her body, or just the fact that I was still unsettled by the dream, I was starting to feel sick. Again. I was too afraid to open my mouth and tell her that, though, so I just shrugged. Rose pulled the thermometer out of my mouth and looked at it. She had a great poker face, I had to give her that, but she couldn't mask her emotions, which were rapidly becoming anxious.

"This is bad, isn't it?" She held the thermometer out to Bella, twisting it so I couldn't see the display. Really, she needn't have bothered. I knew I was running a fever, which should have never been able to happen, so why did it matter how high it was?

Bella's human emotions were a little more difficult to read, but I was growing more and more familiar with my new little sister and her surprise was pretty clear. The source of it could have been the numbers of the thermometer, or just the fact that Rose was being nice to her for a change. It was another limitation of my gift: I could easily read emotions, but not the thoughts behind them.

"Bad for a human, definitely bad for a vampire. But it isn't any higher than it was." She stroked my shoulder a few times, almost experimentally. I couldn't recall if she had ever touched me before, but it did feel good now. My standoffishness and scars tended to scare other vampires away from doing so, except my family, of course. I pressed back against into her fingers, silently requesting that she continue.

One of the nice things about Bella was that she knew when to just keep quiet, and now was no exception. She seemed to sense that I didn't have the mental energy to carry on a conversation. If I could just focus on her gentle hands, it took my mind off of the pain, which still hadn't been fixed by whatever I had been given. Rose talked, but she was mostly filling me in on the remainder of the school day, nothing that required me to answer back. Not that I actually cared that Angela had worn a similar outfit to her own, though not as expensive, of course.

Suddenly the feeling of nausea overwhelmed me again, and I sat bold upright, causing both girls to jump. Luckily, Bella (who must have had far more experience with this sort of thing than Rose or I) got the bowl from on the nightstand and held it under my mouth as I started throwing up again. It was more painful than before, probably because there was less in my stomach to bring up. It was only when she grimaced and closed her eyes that I remembered how disturbing she found the sight of blood. What was coming up looked only marginally pinker then what had gone down and certainly smelled the same. She hung in there, though, never backing down.

Every muscle was shaking, and my chest jerked with involuntary breaths. I wasn't sure if I thought I was dying or just wished that I was. Anything had to be better than this. The fear from Bella and Rosalie only made things worse, combining with my own until I could no longer tell our emotions apart. Finally, I was able to get myself under control and nudge them both into complacency. Bella recovered her voice first. "Done?" She was a study in calm composure, even if her emotions told a darker tale. At my weak nod, she took the bowl into the bathroom.

Rose wiped at my face with a damp cloth, one she must have retrieved while I was puking my guts up. Inexplicably, I actually felt better than I had for hours, as though whatever had been troubling me had come up and vanished. When Bella offered the glass of water again, I drank without hesitation. Most vampires will take water, since liquids aren't as troubling to our systems as solid food. True, they didn't do anything for us nutritionally, but it was better than having a constantly dry throat.

"You look a little better. Still pretty bad, but better." Tact had never been one of Rosalie's strong points.

I was about to tell her that I was feeling a little better when my spirits suddenly soared. There was only one creature in the entire world who could cause a reaction like that. Alice was home. Rosalie startled also, her excitement rising. Bella couldn't sense Edward like that, not yet, but she was a smart girl and easily picked up on the signals Rose and I were giving off.

Footsteps came across the yard, through the door and into the front room. From there they split, with only the lighter tread still coming towards us. A sudden absence of sound told me that Edward and Emmett had gone into Carlisle's study and shut the doors. His office was the only room in this house that was soundproofed, and it had been done so well that not even a vampire could hear what was said. It was nice to have some place to go for private talks, but at the moment I was consumed by curiosity.

Alice exploded through the door and leapt onto the bed. I was ready for her this time, and managed to flip her to the side. She laughed and put a hand to my face. "You're feeling better." A rush of happiness went through me. "Not as hot."

Of course, this necessitated both Bella and Rosalie coming over to check for themselves. I hoped Alice was right, because about was about done with being stuck in this bed, feeling like crap.

Bella's fingers felt warm against my skin for the first time all day. She smiled. "I think his fever's breaking." She gave me a gentle nudge. "I think you might live after all. Well, figuratively speaking."

When she smiled at me like that, it was hard to think of her as food. Maybe there was something to Rosalie's theory after all. But that was something to consider later, when I had all of my strength and mental capacity back.

Alice rubbed my neck, hitting all the right spots. It was lulling, so much so that I felt my body start to relax. She kept stroking. "Your eyes are changing back. They look more green then grey now. Soon the yellow will totally take over." She sounded almost sad.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"No, I'm not disappointed. You could never disappoint me. I just . . . it was kind of nice to see what you might have looked like before."

I knew she meant before my change, but I didn't really think of things that way. To me, there was only one 'before' that mattered, and that was before I found Alice. With very few exceptions (Peter and Charlotte being the biggest) there had been no life for me at all until she came into it. Since meeting her, I had a new mate, a new family, and even a new name. I was barely recognizable as the creature that had commanded armies as both a human and a vampire. I had gone soft, but somehow that didn't seem like such a bad thing. I wanted to tell her this, but when I opened my mouth, something entirely different came out. "Did you find anything in the woods?"

Her brows drew together. "How did you know that we were looking for something in the woods?"

How had I known that? Thirty seconds ago, all I had known was that she had been gone for a while. "I . . . I don't know. I just know you went to the clearing in the woods." Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I had no idea what they meant. "It's there."

A silence followed while Alice stared deep into my eyes. Finally, she shook her head. "You're right. We went to the clearing in the woods, but we didn't find anything. Jasper, there was nothing there."


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella**

"Bella, why don't you pick a movie for us?" Edward's voice was silky soft, his lips quirking into a smile. The rest of the family was already sprawled out in living room. Only a few months ago, I would have felt awkward about it, worrying about my choice, but I had settled in nicely with my new family.

"Not a chick flick. Pick _Terminator_, or _Rambo_. Something with lots of explosions." Emmett gave me a huge smile, the one that turned him from bouncer into giant teddy bear.

Like he was going to pay any attention to the movie once it started. He already had Rosalie in his lap, and as soon as the lights went down, the gropefest would begin. I really believed (or at least deeply hoped) that they thought I couldn't tell what they were doing with the lights off, but I wasn't _that_ naïve. The rest of the family rather pointedly ignored them. Every once in a while, Edward or Japer would say something, probably responding to some particularly vulgar thought or emotion, but their actions were mostly ignored.

I was sorely tempted to pick the weepiest, most girly romantic comedy I could find, but I supposed that wasn't fair to the other men in the room, so I settled on _Shrek 2_. That was acceptable to all of them, so I put the disc in the player, hovering my finger over Play. "Should we wait for Jasper and Carlisle?"

Despite a nearly complete (and, in my opinion, miraculous) recovery on Jasper's part, Carlisle had insisted on performing every test known to man and vampire in an attempt to sort out what had happened.

"They'll be fine." Edward held an arm out from his spot on the floor. Usually, we got the place of honor on the couch, so I could lie down and nap if I needed to, but tonight I was more than happy to surrender it to Alice and Jasper. His lips tickled just below my ear in a gesture that left me wanting more. One day we would be able to do that, but not until I was a vampire. Of course, I had yet to pull Edward around to that particular idea, but I was confident in Alice's visions. If she saw me as a vampire one day, then I would be a vampire one day. There were simply no other options.

I was pleased that I didn't jump when Carlisle and Jasper appeared out of nowhere to join us. Carlisle was soundless as always, but for the first time, I could hear Jasper's heavier tread. He smiled gamely at me, but there was a tiredness in his eyes that led me to believe he wasn't feeling as well as he pretended he was. His hair was still damp from the shower, and it clung to the back of his neck. He didn't seem as dangerous as he once had, though I wasn't sure if the change had occurred in him or me. He curled up against Alice, somehow managing to pull his legs up and hunch so he didn't look much bigger than she did.

The movie was entertaining, but my attention drifted back and forth between the images on the screen and the vampires on the couch. I had never in my life seen a couple more in tune with each other. Each seemed to instinctively know what the other needed, even without speaking a single word. Would Edward and I be like that someday? Just able to look at each other and _know?_

Not for the first time, I wondered where they had both come from, and how long it had taken them to find each other. Alice herself didn't know many of those answers, though she had always had an image of Jasper to keep her company. But what about him? I knew nothing about Jasper, except for his name, and even that might be false. He wasn't really Rosalie's twin, but they were sharing a last name. It could have only belonged to one of them in the beginning, but which one?

I had never really thought about Jasper like this. When I did, it was usually in relation to Alice. As far as thinking of him as an individual, with his own thoughts and feelings . . . that seldom happened. He was just Jasper. Edward's brother, Alice's mate, and the one I had to be careful around. I supposed he saw me in much the same way. I was just Bella. Edward's girlfriend, Alice's best friend, and the one _he_ had to be careful around.

Even when I did think about Jasper, I never got very far. He had always struck me as similar to one of those Easter Island heads. Watchful and silent and utterly mysterious. As the movie progressed, he had slid down against Alice, and was now stretched out with his head in her lap. His eyes were closed, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't detect any movement in his chest. He had apparently lapsed back into that strange, sleep-like state. Alice stared quietly ahead, absently stroking the hair away from his face, her eyes dark with worry.

Looking at them, I wondered just what it was that she saw in his future. Her eyes met mine, and she offered me the saddest smile I had ever seen. She could do very little for her mate now, except try and comfort him when he was in pain. It must have been frightening for her, and the family as a whole, to find out they weren't as indestructible as they had thought.

"Jasper." I hadn't even noticed Carlisle leaving the room, but he was now standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Come on."

The vampire rose without hesitation or comment, so perhaps he hadn't been asleep after all. I watched his movements closely, looking for pain or obvious discomfort, but he seemed to be doing well. His eyes looked like darkly tarnished gold, instead of that blue color, but they were again bright and alert. Whatever had actually caused his illness, it seemed to have passed as quickly as it arrived. So why did I feel so worried?

"He'll be all right, Bella." There were times when I almost forgot that Edward couldn't read my mind. Apparently he didn't really need to, because every thought that I had tended to flash across my face.

"Am I that obvious?"

He gave me another crooked smile. "You've been staring at that doorway ever since Jasper went through it. Carlisle's just going to check him over again, make sure his fever isn't back, and try and get him to eat a little bit."

"But he threw up." I didn't know why I bothered to whisper; the rest of the family, probably including Carlisle and Jasper himself, would be able to hear me no matter how softly I spoke.

Edward paused for a minute, his head cocked and his eyes distant. I recognized his look as the one he always got when he was trying to focus on a specific person's mind. "Carlisle thinks he expelled the poison when he did. He wants Jasper to try and eat so he can get some strength back."

I guess Carlisle would know more about what a vampire needed than I did, but I couldn't shake the worried feeling. It all seemed too convenient. If Jasper had been poisoned two days ago, which was what everyone seemed to think, most of the poison should have been out of his stomach and into the rest of his body. But neither the poison nor the blood itself had gone anywhere, if the amount he had brought up was any indicator. If his throwing up had expelled the poison, which it seemed to have done, what had kept him from digesting the blood in the first place? Or was that normal for vampires?

I wanted to ask Edward, but he got so defensive when I brought up anything that called attention to his being a vampire. Alice was more honest, but it just seemed cruel to start grilling her when it was her husband who was so ill.

That left Rosalie and Emmett. Even though she had been really nice to me today, the thought of asking Rosalie for anything still made my stomach clench. I gathered up my courage. "Emmett?"

He slipped his hand out from under Rosalie's shirt, looking only marginally guilty. "What's up, little sis?"

"How . . ." What was the best way to put this? "How come you didn't get sick and Jasper did?"

"I don't know. I'm bigger than he is, so maybe the amount in half a deer was enough to slow him down, but not me. Or maybe he was snacking and forgot about it. Maybe I just got lucky."

Any one of those things could have been true, but something deep down was telling me to look harder. That the entire family, including me, was in terrible danger, and that what was happening to Jasper was only the beginning. I choked down that thought as Jasper reentered the room, a glass of what I could only assume was blood held in one hand. He walked to the couch with exaggerated care, holding the cup as far away from himself as he could. He didn't really look at me, but I knew that he must have heard what we were talking about. I felt a little embarrassed to be caught talking about him like that, but he didn't even seem to notice.

Charlie wasn't expecting me home tonight, since he thought I was in Seattle, shopping with Alice and Esme. So when Emmett claimed the right to choose the next movie, I went along with it good-naturedly. At least until I saw what he was reaching for. The Cullens had an extensive collection of vampire movies, and loved to watch them and make fun. Emmett kept looking over at Jasper, leading me to believe he was hoping his brother would perk up and get involved.

It seemed to work. Jasper's eyes remained open, and he joined his brothers in jeering at the film. Every so often, something would happen on the screen that caused me to jump, and he would grin at my surprise. It was the first time I had seen him smile at me, or really at anyone other than Alice. It was a cute smile, even more crooked than Edward's, with a small dimple which appeared on one side. I smiled back at him, delighting in even this small amount of bonding.

My attention was drawn to the screen again as the newly turned vampire decimated what was left of its human family. Was that what it would be like for me? Would I ever be able to see Charlie again? The thought of losing my father when I had barely found him again made my heart ache. The rest of the Cullens lived among humans, and interacted with them daily. But what if Charlie was long dead before I had that sort of control?

"How long before you could be around humans? After you were changed, I mean?" The words came out before I thought.

Edward started to object, the same way he always did when any subject that could conceivably lead to me becoming a vampire came up, but Alice managed to cut him off. "That very much depends, Bella. Never before the newborn year is up, and sometimes much longer. Why do you ask?"

I loved Alice, loved how she never made me feel stupid or like I couldn't ask certain things. "Charlie." It was all I could push past my suddenly tight throat. Even though I rarely showed it, I loved my father. Losing Renée had almost killed him. I couldn't imagine what losing me might do.

"You might still be able to see him." Emmett's tone didn't quite match his hopeful words. "But there're other things to consider, besides blood lust. You might look too different and make him suspicious."

This was the most honesty I had gotten so far, and I wasn't about to let his opportunity pass me by. "What do you mean?"

"Well, some vampires look very much like the humans they were, and some don't. For example, I was only half the glorious specimen you see today. I mean, I was always a big guy, but look at me now!" He stood and flexed his (admittedly impressive) muscles.

Rose smacked him. "Sit down, you idiot." She turned to me. "I looked pretty close to how I do now, thought I wasn't quite as lovely. No one knows what Carlisle looked like, since there were no cameras then."

"I didn't used to be blond." Jasper had been so quiet that I had nearly forgotten he was there at all. That seemed to happen a lot — not only with me, but with the rest of the Cullens also. He might as well have been invisible some days. He struggled to a sitting position, but couldn't seem to get his balance. Alice nudged him upright with one hand, and he nodded his thanks.

"Really?" He hadn't been this engaging with me in . . . well, ever. The only time he had ever really spoken to me was when we were on the run from James, and even then it was only when absolutely necessary. When I looked into his eyes, I noticed that they looked darker than before, but maybe he was just hungry.

He nodded. "Really. My hair wasn't quite as dark as yours, but it was naturally brown. It just kept growing out lighter and lighter. Maria was convinced it would turn white eventually, but when I was eight months old or so, it turned the color it is now and stayed."

It had never occurred to me that something like that could happen. And who was Maria, anyway? I knew Jasper had had at least one family besides this one, so maybe she had been the leader? Something deep inside me told me not to push it, though. His eyes said that this was a sensitive subject for him, and I didn't want to bring it up.

He saved me before the subject could become awkward. "There's a picture."

Alice was up and retrieving a large volume from the bookshelf before I could even ask. She put it in my lap, nudging it open. "Page 217."

I tried to be cool as I checked the title, but ended up squealing like the dork I truly was when I saw it was a book on the Civil War. "You were alive during the Civil War! Damn, you're old!"

Everyone laughed, even Jasper. "Ma'am, I was a Major in the Civil War. Youngest one, too." He paused, apparently lost in the memories. "And yes, I'm old. Oldest one in the family, except Carlisle."

I thought about that as I flipped through the pages. It was one thing to know how old the Cullens really were in sort of an abstract way, but another thing entirely to have it laid out in front of me like this. I found the right page and looked at the man Jasper had been a century ago. The picture was black and white, of course, and a little blurry, but it was Jasper all the same. He was standing tall, in what I could only describe as some sort of dress uniform, with medals pinned to his chest. His hair was darker in the picture, and much shorter than it was now, but it was his eyes that caught me. They were pale, a shade quite similar to what I had seen a few hours ago. He wasn't smiling — no one ever did in those pictures — but those eyes projected a good humor which couldn't be disguised. He was a happy young man, with his whole life ahead of him. I did a quick mental comparison. The picture must have been taken shortly before his death, as I couldn't see many differences. "How old?"

"Me? Nineteen in the picture, barely twenty when I died." He shifted around, though I couldn't tell what was wrong. He might have been feeling poorly again, or he may have just been uncomfortable with this line of questioning. Looking at the man in the picture again, I wondered what he would have thought if he were in my position. Of all the Cullens, he was the only one who hadn't already been dying when he was turned. Was it foolish of me to want to give up my human life willingly?

Those were questions I needed to ask Jasper, but not right now. I would wait until the two of us could be alone and talk, if that ever happened. Edward seemed to think that if we were left alone together, it wouldn't be thirty seconds before Jasper went for my throat. He probably wouldn't have liked me sitting with Jasper earlier, but he could just get over that. I liked Jasper, and he had never shown even a hint of aggression towards me. Truthfully, I was more afraid that Rosalie might decided to rid the family of their little human problem once and for all than I was that Jasper might suddenly decide I looked yummy.

The movie culminated with a stake through the heart and much cheering from the Cullen clan. Emmett snorted. "That would barely pinch!"

The only two not making noise were Jasper and Alice. Instead they were staring deep into each others' eyes. It was only when Alice nodded that I realized they _had_ been speaking, just too softly and quickly for me to hear. Jasper stood and raised a hand lightly to the rest of the family. They all nodded, and he made his way out of the room, presumably to go rest. Alice gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. "Let me get him settled and then you and I can do girl things."

'Girl things' usually involved me being treated like a living doll, made up and paraded about in outfits she guaranteed would get Edward panting. So far, it hadn't worked. I grimaced. "Take your time."

She laughed, a sound like tinkling bells. "You aren't going to get away that easily. Jasper, do you want . . . Jasper?" She looked around, as if her husband might be hiding somewhere. "Guess he's done eating." She picked up the cup, which even I could tell was mostly full, and studied it intently.

I felt compelled to say something, anything, to make her feel better. "He'll probably want more later. I know you don't remember it, but throwing up hurts. It takes a little while to get your appetite back."

"I hope so." She flitted to the kitchen, returning without the glass. "Since Jasper's going to be resting upstairs, we'll use the kitchen. It's high time you learn to do your own makeup."

Like she would ever trust me to do it properly anyway. Still, the idea of being able to do so if it became necessary was appealing. Edward smoothed my hair, lightly touching his lips to my neck. "Will you be all right if I hunt?"

"Of course." I loved him more than life itself (quite literally, considering that I wanted him to kill me), but I loved his family, too. One day they would be my family, permanently. He grinned and took off, disappearing into the woods.

"Come on, Bella." Rosalie was watching me with inscrutable eyes. "We can get started now." She raced into the kitchen, leaving me no choice but to follow. By the time I came through the doorway, she had already gotten me a soda and laid out her makeup kit.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" _Good job, Bella; piss her off when she's finally starting to like you._

She paused, studying me like I was some sort of puzzle that she couldn't quite solve. "I don't dislike you, Bella. I never did. But you have to understand, you don't belong in this life. What you see here . . . this isn't what vampires really are. We're dangerous; James should have taught you that. Everyone's been on their best behavior for you, but you haven't seen what it's like when Emmett comes home slathered in blood, or we have to move with no warning because someone's gotten suspicious or one of us slipped, or when Jasper goes into one of his — " She cut herself off abruptly, perhaps realizing she was about to say too much. "Anyway, it's not always like this. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's terrible."

I didn't know how to make her understand me without sounding like a foolish child. "But I love Edward."

Her eyes darkened. "Don't ever give up yourself for a man, Bella. I did that once, and that's how I ended up trapped in this life."

"He doesn't want me to." It hurt to admit it out loud. "He wants me to stay human until I die."

"I know. God knows, we all know. Alice and Edward have done nothing but bicker about it for months. But what Edward wants doesn't matter, now does it? Alice saw you as a vampire, so you'll be a vampire."

She trailed off there, her eyes distant. I wondered what she remembered when she was like that. Someone had done something to her once, I was sure of it. She snapped out of it without warning and nudged me to sit. "I love Jasper. He's my twin and my best friend. You've been very kind to him so far, especially today, and he hasn't had much of that outside of this family. Now lean into the light so I can see your skin tone better."

She had changed subjects so quickly that I was stunned into compliance. Watching her tense face, it occurred to me that she and Alice were both trying to take their minds off Jasper and his problems. It was the least I could do to just play along with them.

The evening actually passed rather happily. Rosalie loosened up after giving me her warning, and actually treated me like an equal, instead of a stupid little human. Alice was her usual bubbly self, though I could sense a tension just under the surface. By an unspoken agreement, we kept the conversation light.

After a while, the three Cokes I had drunk took their toll, and I excused myself to go have a human moment. I didn't know why I bothered going to use the upstairs bathroom, since I was pretty sure they could hear me peeing anywhere in the house, but at least I felt like I was doing something. I was so distracted by that thought that I failed to recognize the low rumbling sound until it was too late, and I was halfway down the upstairs hall.

Jasper was standing in the hallway, less than ten feet from me, blocking my escape. His eyes, which had returned to that strange blue shade, were fixed on mine. Even as we stared, he raised his lip and growled again. His gaze slid past me, to the picture window at the end of the hall, then back to me. The growling stopped, and he began to pant nervously.

My throat froze, and I could do nothing to either placate Jasper or scream for help. He took another few steps forward, closing the gap even further. He looked from me to the window again, and I realized I had placed myself in a very dangerous position. I was in between a fearful, ill vampire and his only escape route. If Jasper had wanted to kill me, he could have done it before I was even aware of his presence. He wanted out of the house, and I was preventing that. Just because he didn't want to hurt me, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't do so if he felt pushed hard enough. He growled again, his eyes desperate as he warned me to back off. Only I couldn't. He was now in between me and the stairs, and there were no doors or safe rooms to duck into.

Alice and Rosalie appeared, apparently attracted by Jasper's growling. "Bella, stay calm. I'm afraid if any of us move too suddenly, he'll lunge at you. Jasper!" At any other time, the desperation in his mate's voice would have caused Jasper to go to her immediately. Now he didn't even look towards her.

"Jasper, stop it!" Rosalie's voice was sharp command, but he paid her no mind, either. His world at the moment consisted of me and the window. If I wanted to get out of this with all of the blood in my body, I was going to have to buck up and do it for myself.

Rosalie's words from earlier echoed in my mind. I cautiously straightened up, dropping my gaze to the floor. _Don't cower like a lamb, Bella, but don't challenge him, either, and above all else, try to stay calm. If you get riled, he will, too. _I turned my body so my back was pressed to the wall. "Go on." I was proud of how strong my voice was.

When I spoke, his eyes snapped back to mine. There was a vague recognition in them, but I couldn't tell if he knew me as Bella, or just as someone he probably shouldn't hurt. He looked calmer, which I found encouraging. "Knock off the growling and listen to me. You want out, right? I won't stop you, I promise. Just go."

Time hung suspended as he came towards me, then passed me without a further glance. I backed towards the stairs cautiously, but he had completely lost interest. Glass shattered as he went through the window, dropping soundlessly into the lawn below.

Things happened quickly jumped up the stairs and was checking me over for injuries. "Did he hurt you? Oh, God, Bella, I'm so sorry. I thought he was resting, and then I couldn't see anything. It's like his future just disappeared." Her voice betrayed the tears that couldn't possibly fall.

I put my arms around her, noticing that she was trembling as badly as I was. "I'm not hurt. He didn't want to hurt me. I'm fine."

There were at least three voices yelling outside, so the rest of the family must be back and trying to get Jasper under against me as we both sank to the floor. "What's wrong with him? Bella, what's happening?"

I couldn't answer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Carlisle**

"Damn it, Jasper, I swear to God I'm going to pop you one!" Emmett was getting frustrated as he struggled to keep his grip on Jasper.

Normally, I would have said something to him, both about his language and his taking the Lord's name in vain, but the situation was become desperate. Both Emmett and Edward were trying to restrain Jasper, who was trying equally hard to fight his way loose. I hovered on the periphery, blocking his path every time he managed to get loose so that they could grab him again.

Jasper's struggles were eerie to watch, simply because he was so fixated on his goal. He didn't swear, didn't scream, didn't make a single unnecessary movement. He was a fighter, a soldier, and he knew better than to waste his strength. Interestingly, he made no move to injure his brothers, never snapping at them or lashing out. Just his silent, powerful struggles.

Emmett finally managed to pin Jasper's arms and pull the smaller vampire back against his chest. Once he had Jasper's upper body immobilized, he sat on the ground, his greater weight pulling Jasper down with him. From that position there was nothing for any of us to do except wait for Jasper's strength to run out.

Though he must have known he had been beaten, Jasper struggled on. Emmett muttered to him, soft words that didn't seem to penetrate the mental fog. "It's all right, dude, it's all right. Hey, you're safe, you're with your family, you're safe. No one's mad at you, I promise."

Looking at the two of them, I was transported back to when Jasper and Alice had first arrived. He had been wild then, prone to nervous behavior and out-of-control aggression over very mild slights. He didn't like us, didn't understand us, and had absolutely no idea how to behave around us. He was capable of being fine one second, then for no apparent reason going into a spiral of panic.

As time passed, the entire family learned to identify what triggered his rages, a list that included fire, loud noises, the smell of smoke, being stared at, and, oddly, rabbits. At those times, he would become like a wild animal, unable to be reasoned with or soothed even by Alice. The only thing that worked was one of us putting him in restraint until he wore himself out and was able to listen again. Usually that part didn't take too long, though there had been a time or two when we went on for hours, but his behavior would be affected for days afterwards.

Maybe Emmett was thinking of those days, too, because his own anger seemed to have faded. It made sense that Jasper was going though a bit of a regression now, with him not feeling well. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I felt useless, which was how I usually felt when it came to Jasper and his problems, even before today. "Edward, can you get a read on him?"

"I'm trying, but things are really fuzzy. It's like his thoughts are wrapped in a blanket or something." He crouched down and stared into the blank blue eyes. I waited for Jasper to get even more upset, since that was one of the things that tended to stress him, but he didn't really respond. For the first time, Jasper whined, the sound so forlorn that it made my skin crawl.

"He wants to go to the woods, the clearing, but he doesn't know why or even where it is. I don't know if it's the same clearing the three of us went to or not. He _has_ to go, Carlisle. He can't help himself." Edward frowned. "Also, he wants to know if Sue is making spaghetti for dinner. Who's Sue?"

"And why does he care what's for dinner? He's probably never eaten spaghetti in his life. Did they even have it in the 1800's?" Emmett was still holding Jasper, whose struggles were finally starting to weaken. His eyes never lost their fix on the woods, though.

"I'm losing him." Edward tried to get eye contact again, but Jasper wasn't having it. "He thinks he's in trouble because . . ." He paused, trying to get a read on the skipping thoughts. Then his head snapped up, his eyes widening in horror. "What happened to Bella? Jasper, what did you do?"

None of us were really expecting an answer, so it was a surprise when he muttered, "Didn't hurt her." His words seemed to break a spell, and he went limp in Emmett's arms, leaning against his brother and staring into Edward's eyes. "She's okay."

He seemed to be back with us, no longer at all interested in the woods or what might be contained within them. Edward nodded tersely and stood up, vanishing into the house at top speed. At any other time, I would have been sure that Bella was all right, but it was impossible to be sure of anything involving Jasper right now. Emmett cautiously loosened his hold before helping Jasper to his feet. "What happened, bro?"

"Don't know. Alice said to rest for a while, so I did, then Emmett grabbed me." He glared at his brother, who shrugged.

"Fine, then, next time I'll let you wander around in the woods, sicker than shit, and just hope you make it back all right." There was no venom in Emmett's voice, but I could hear the undercurrent of fear.

Jasper must have been able to, also, because he rubbed his face against his brother's shoulder. "Don't want that." Whatever had caused his burst of energy and allowed him to jump through the window had faded, and he dropped his head. "Sorry, Emmett."

"Yeah, well, don't do it again." Emmett slung an arm around Jasper's shoulders. "Come on now, before Edward goes into a full-out panic attack in there." The pair of them walked towards the house, leaving me to follow.

This situation was becoming stranger and stranger as the night wore on. Jasper's symptoms seemed to wax and wane, rather than following any natural progression. That alone ruled poison out, unless he was being reintroduced to the toxin. Only he had been closely watched today, by first myself, then Rosalie and Bella. If the poison affected vampires, the others should be showing symptoms by now.

But if it wasn't a poison, what was it? There were things that didn't fit an illness, either. The eye color was downright bizarre, and his strange fixation on the woods didn't make any sense. I might have blamed it on the fever he was running, had it not been for Alice's vision. That pointed to something far darker going on. Try as I might, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Jasper was still so much of a mystery even on a good day that I didn't even know where to start.

"Maybe someone put a curse on him. Like a witch." Emmett's tone was flippant, but the curse theory made more sense than anything else we had come up with so far. If vampires and werewolves existed, why not witches?

Emmett continued to speak, gently guiding Jasper back towards the house. "Like he saw her bathing and she got pissed off and put a curse on him. You know, like in that story."

I was kind of impressed that he remembered that particular myth, though the naked goddess in it probably had a lot to do with that.

"He doesn't have a curse on him, Emmett, he's just sick." Alice had appeared at the front door, her tiny arms held out for Jasper.

He went to her quietly, still rubbing at his face. She whispered something to him, and he nodded back at her. "I'm tired."

Jasper hated to admit any weakness, a habit still carrying over from his previous home. To admit weakness was to invite an attack, and Jasper was no fool. "Come on upstairs; I'll be up there in minute. Alice, go with him, please." After what had just happened, Jasper could no longer be left alone. The danger that he might injure himself or one of us had become too great.

"Come on." Alice was as gentle as always, but I could hear the strain in her voice. For all of their lives together, Jasper had taken care of her. Now suddenly, he was the one who desperately needed care. The 180-degree shift in their roles had to be disorienting. Her small hand rested on his back, as if to lend him strength.

I mentally reviewed what I would need to examine Jasper, still disbelieving that things could have possibly gone so wrong. It had only been ten hours or so since Esme had gone to pick him up at school, and twenty-four hours ago, he had been playing Xbox with his brother.

My train of thought was broken by an argument starting in the living room. Bella's voice rose up. "I'm fine, Edward! Jeez, he didn't even touch me!"

I hated to eavesdrop on my children's conversations, but the ugly truth was that I would be able to hear Bella no matter where we were in the house, as would everyone else.

"He could have, though. If he had tried to hurt you, Bella, I don't know what I would do. I love you." Edward's voice was pleading. "I just want you to be safe."

Unlike a few months ago, Bella wouldn't back down. "I _am_ safe here, probably safer than I am at home. Jasper's sick; that's not his fault. He isn't thinking that clearly, and he still didn't hurt me." Her tone softened slightly. "Really, Edward, I'm fine. All right?"

Poor Bella had no idea that she had just stumbled into one of the many lasting conflicts within the Cullen family. Edward had never been able to completely overlook Jasper's past, and thus was harder on him than the rest of the family. Jasper, in turn, resented the implication that he was expected to justify himself to a vampire decades his junior, and lacking even a fraction of his experience.

Honestly, I believed that the root of their problems was jealousy. Edward was jealous of how easily Jasper accepted his vampire nature. In Jasper's mind, he was a vampire, he would always _be_ a vampire, and there was no use denying or being upset about that fact. Instead, he felt better off learning how to work with his abilities and limitations, something Edward refused to acknowledge.

Jasper's issue with Edward was far less certain, though over the years I had formed a few theories. I tried not to favor Edward, though I will admit to having a special bond with him. He was my first companion, and we were together for quite a while before Esme came along. Jasper seemed to simultaneously desire a bond with me and shy away when it was actually offered. Still, it couldn't have escaped his notice that Edward felt comfortable accepting affection not only from me, but from the rest of the family, while Jasper himself had trouble.

The argument faded, though it didn't entirely disappear, as I trudged up the stairs. My arms were filled with medical instruments: pills, another thermometer, anything that I thought had the slightest chance of being able to help. As I ascended, I could hear Alice talking, trying to soothe Jasper, but he wasn't making any noise back.

I knocked softly, not wanting to disturb their peace. Alice came and opened the door, her eyes begging me to do something, anything, to help. It broke my heart to see her face, usually always smiling, twisted with fear and sadness.

"Fix him." It was a plea rather than an order.

"I'm trying." I approached the figure on the bed, softly touching his face. His eyes were cloudy, glazed with pain, and more yellow than blue. The change in eye color seemed to precipitate a change in behavior. When his eyes were blue, he became more agitated and less responsive to us. When they were yellow or black, he was the Jasper we all recognized.

Right now, he looked bad. His skin was hot and dry, and his lips were chapped. Without any nourishment, his body was starting to turn on itself. "Are you hungry?"

His complexion first whitened, then turned a sickly green color. I quickly put the blood bag I had been holding behind me, out of his line of sight. "Guess not. Can you try swallowing some more pills for me?"

For a minute, his jaw worked in silence, and then he nodded. What he really needed was something strong, preferably something morphine-based, but I had no way of acquiring such a drug. Morphine was kept carefully monitored at the hospital, and while I knew I could get around the safeguards, doing so would take time that I was starting to suspect we didn't have. Whatever was happening was happening fast, too fast.

"Knock it off, Jake." Jasper's eyes were still on mine, but I got the impression that he had no idea who I was. "I said, knock it off! Hey, stop it, you two, don't make me put both of you under silence. He'll do it, too; he did it to me and Quil last week." His voice shifted with each sentence, as though he were having a conversation with an invisible partner.

"Jasper?" I sounded frightened, despite my best efforts. It didn't seem to make a difference, though; he kept right on talking. "I don't know what to do about Bella."

Thank God, he seemed to be coming out of his delirium. "You're doing fine with Bella."

My hopes for him were dashed when he failed to react to me. "She's in danger. She's always going to be in danger with that leech around. We could do something; we _should_ — " He cut himself off, his head cocked. "We'll do nothing. Sam says that the Cullens are not to be bothered, as long as they stick to the treaty. Do you really want to start a war over this? If we wait long enough, they'll screw it up on their own. They're animals; it's just what animals do." His voice dropped to a sympathetic whisper. "If she were in trouble, you would know it already. You know that."

At the word 'treaty', it all clicked into place for me. Though it seemed impossible, Jasper was channeling the Quileute tribe from over on the reservation. 'Jake' had to be Jacob Black, Bella's friend.

I thought back to Jasper's words earlier that day. _There are wolves on the reservation. _But how? The wolves were gone; they had vanished about the time we left last time. I would have been less shocked if it were Edward doing this, considering his ability, though at this point, very few things should surprise me about Jasper.

"Bella?" I spoke in a normal tone of voice, distracted by the task at hand.

"She can't hear you, you know." Jasper sounded amused. "You'll have to talk louder for the human."

When he gave me that goofy, crooked little smile, I knew I had him back. He watched me with electric green eyes, very nearly the same color that Edward's had been, once upon a time. "True." I raised my voice slightly. "Edward? Son, will you get Bella, please?"

Jasper shifted restlessly before curling up on his side. His stomach must be hurting him again. "Think I scared her. Didn't mean to, I swear."

"I'm sure she knows that." I passed the thermometer to Alice, and shone my penlight in each of his eyes. The pupils were a little dilated, but reacted normally to the light. I ran a hand down the rest of his body, gently poking and probing. The glands under his neck were swollen, and his abdomen was still extremely tender to the touch. He didn't try to fight me off this time, just limply submitted. I wasn't sure if his sudden calm pointed to him being in less pain, or if he were just lacking the strength to fight back.

"Did you want me?" Bella's voice was hesitant.

"Yes." I tried to think of the best way to put this. "Your friend, Jacob, out on the Reservation. Can you tell me anything about him?" _Very subtle, Carlisle._

Her eyes narrowed. "Like what?"

_Like maybe if he's a werewolf?_ "Just anything. Do you know any of his friends?"

"What's this really about? You don't think Jake has anything to do with Jasper, do you? How could a human hurt a vampire?"

"A human couldn't. Bella, please, this might be important."

"Please, Bella." Jasper's soft whisper broke through her hesitations.

"Well, there's Jared and Seth. Um . . . Embry, he's pretty funny. Quil — "

That was it, one of the names I had been looking for. "Quil?" I had to make sure I had gotten it right.

"Yeah. I can't remember his last name, though."

"That's fine. Thank you, Bella." Now I knew there was more to Jasper's speech then the rambling of a sick vampire, but how much more?

She refused to be dismissed. "No. I want to know what's going on."

"Bella, I don't know. There's no reason for Jasper to be sick, or for him to be spouting off the names of a bunch of wolves he's never even met. I don't know what's happening!"

Bella didn't flinch away from my anger. Instead she just stared at me, her dark eyes wide. "Wolves?"

Oops. I started to backpedal my way out of this mess, but she was already speaking again. "It's true. then. Why not? The Cold Ones are already here, so it makes sense that the wolves would be, too. Shit, I'm in a Stephen King novel." She gave a slightly hysterical giggle.

I tried to calm her down. "There's no actual evidence that there are werewolves on the Reservation. To the best of my knowledge, the last of them disappeared fifty years ago."

"Same time vampires did. We're back, and so are they." Jasper was snickering now, his humor no doubt coming from hers. "Boy, I'll bet they're pissed!"

"Jasper, shush." Alice's tone held a warning in it. He did, though I could still hear him chortling. She gave his shoulder a smack and turned her attention to me. "Why Jasper? Even if the Quileutes are turning, what does that have to do with him?"

I hated to have to tell her, but I just didn't know. Vampires and werewolves were natural enemies, but I had never heard of anything like this happening. I just didn't have enough experience with wolves to know what was really going on. I knew that young wolves, especially the males, could be volatile. Maybe Jasper's gift was somehow picking up on that? He was quite sensitive to strong emotions, even at a distance. Maybe he was just overwhelmed.

Except he wasn't. I shook out a handful of pills and held them out. It was a massive overdose, but the pills he had been given before hadn't done their job. He took them obediently, but not without quite a bit of coughing and gagging before he could get them down. "Can you at least try and eat something?"

"Not a good idea." He closed his eyes. "Just go away."

"I can't do that, Jasper, I'm sorry." I felt bad for him, I really did, and I understood his desire to suffer alone, but the doctor in me couldn't let that happen. "You don't have to eat, though. We'll figure something out." If I had to, I could get a stomach tube from work and force blood down him that way.

I jerked my head slightly towards the door, giving both Alice and Bella a meaningful look. Bella left, but Alice didn't. For the first time since I could remember, she growled at me. It was a tiny sound, but there was no mistaking the look in her dark eyes. She wasn't going to let me be alone with Jasper. She loved me, yes, but she loved Jasper more, and his safety was paramount. I waited for her startled apology, but none was forthcoming. Right now I was between a vampire and her mate, and she would do anything to defend him from harm, including injure me.

Calm blanketed us both. "Easy, Alice." Jasper's voice was tired and quiet. "It's all right."

Her growling stopped, but she never took her eyes off mine. It was unnerving when she looked at me like that. It was a hard, searching look, and I found myself unable to hold it. I dropped my eyes to the array of medical paraphernalia on the table. Where should I start?

What I really needed was to do a head-to-toe examination. That way I could see any injuries Jasper might have sustained, even those he might not be aware of. However, I couldn't see that happening. Jasper hated being touched by anyone who wasn't Alice. After years, decades really, of gentle coaxing, he would accept gentle touches from Esme or Rosalie, and he seemed to be perfectly happy wrestling with his brothers, but I was still considered suspect. He hadn't liked my touching him a few minutes ago, and he had been fully clothed then. It hurt, even more so because I knew that his gift allowed him to pick up on the fact that it was bothering me, but I had long since come to terms with it.

Or at least, I thought I had. The past day had caused my old frustrations and insecurities to come back to the surface. No matter how long he stayed, or what he claimed, I could never quite shake the feeling that I would get home from work one day and just find Jasper gone. I loved him, despite his difficulties and odd ways, and the family wouldn't be complete without him.

I picked up a penlight and a few scopes, forcing my hands not to shake. No doubt Jasper already knew how nervous I was, but Alice might be fooled. "I'm going to look at your ears and throat."

Both were perfectly clear. His reflexes were normal, also. I was stumped. I had been a human doctor for well over a century, but this didn't look like any human disease, much less a vampire one. I needed help.

But from whom? I could try calling Denali again, even though Eleazar admitted that he was as confused as I was. I wished for the wisdom and collected vampire lore of the Volturi, but I could only contact them as an absolute last resort. I was on shaky ground with them at the best of times, and I hated to draw their attention to my family.

Then there was Bella. If the Volturi found out about her, she would die. Whether she rose again as a vampire or not, her human life would be over. I loved her like a daughter, and wanted her to be one of us one day, but she was only sixteen years old. Edward had been a year older, and he still showed childish traits that he would never quite mature out of. Even a few years made a huge difference, and I wanted her to be as mature as possible before she made her choice.

But, if it came down to that, I would choose Jasper over Bella. I would remove her from Forks, from Washington, even from the country if I had to, but if it meant saving Jasper, I was willing to sacrifice her humanity without a second thought.

It was a terrible thing to think, but I had lived too long to believe it wasn't a possibility. Though there had been no official declaration, our way of life was at war with theirs, and there are always casualties in a war. The worst part was, I knew Bella would accept it. She understood what she had signed up for, and she would never expect that I would choose her humanity over Jasper's life. I hated the thought of her precious life being lost, but I hated the thought of losing Jasper losing his more.

"Jasper, can you take your shirt off, so I can look you over?" I tried to keep my voice nonchalant. "I won't touch."

"No." The word was flat and uncompromising. Jasper was a stubborn vampire, and I knew better than to try and convince him.

As it turned out, I didn't need to. I didn't need to do anything, since Alice spoke up for me. "Jasper, please."

His eyes were hard, but he sat up and slipped the shirt over his head. His torso was covered with scars, but none were recent. I gestured for him to turn around, mindful of my earlier promise to keep my hands to myself.

There were fewer bites on his back, since it hadn't taken long for Jasper to realize he should never turn his back on a newborn vampire. Still, there were long, deep slashes that ran from just under the top of one shoulder to the opposite hip. They were more raised than the others, and the injuries must have been horrendous when they first occurred. To this day, he couldn't raise his left arm all the way over his head, due to the amount of scar tissue there. He had never told us what had happened, and I was almost too afraid to speculate.

I wasn't one hundred percent sure what I was looking for. It didn't matter, though, since there was nothing to see. No bruises, no cuts, no new bites. However he had been infected, it wasn't through an injury. There was always the off chance that the injury was on his legs, but I would never get him to take his pants off, not even we sat here until he turned 1000. "Thank you, Jasper." I turned back to the table, trying to figure out what to do or say next.

"Jasper." Alice sounded urgent. "Jasper!"

He didn't say anything, though that wasn't unusual. I loved Esme, and had no doubt that Emmett loved Rosalie, but I had never seen a bond like the one between Jasper and Alice. It went beyond mates, and even beyond soulmates. I didn't have an actual word for what was between them, just a deep feeling of rightness.

"Carlisle, look at Jasper!" Her voice was terrified now.

I jerked my head up, my eyes widening at the scene before me. Jasper was still sitting up, with both arms extended out in front of him, fingers splayed. His joints were locked, and he was shaking, tremors that raced across his body. "Jasper?"

He didn't look at me. In fact, he didn't react at all. I grabbed the penlight and shone it in his eyes again, noting that the pupils were pinpoint and nonreactive. I tried to turn his head towards me, but his muscles were too stiff. I was getting ready to call Edward in, so we could try and get a read on his brother's thoughts when Jasper gave his head a quick shake and dropped his arms. "Ow."

"Are you all right?" The words sounded unbelievably foolish, even as they were coming out of my mouth. Even if he was all right now, he hadn't been a few seconds ago.

"I feel like crap, my stomach hurts, and no one will leave me alone. I'm fantastic." His words were softened by a sleepy smile.

In other words, he didn't realize that he had just had what I could only classify as a seizure. His brain was going haywire, and was going to suffer damage if I couldn't get his illness under control. "Well, it's your lucky day, then. I'm done here, so you rest for a little while."

He flopped back onto the bed and closed his eyes. Alice sat next to him, smoothing the hair away from his face. She looked over at me and I mouthed the word 'Denali' at her.

My mind was spinning as I dialed. Irina answered the phone, her tone clipped. "Yes?"

"Irina, this is Carlisle. How are you all?" I hated to make small talk right now, but I knew better than to be rude to one of the Denali girls and risk her wrath later.

"All is well here, thank you." She sounded a little bored. "You know that Laurent is with us."

Honestly, I had barely even thought of Laurent since I had sent him to Alaska months ago. Guilt gnawed at my stomach. "How is he doing?"

"About as well as can be expected. It doesn't happen in a night, you know that."

What she meant was, he wasn't doing well. It was next to impossible to take a vampire who was used to feeding off of humans and expect him to be satisfied with hunting animals. Look how long it was taking with Jasper, who was extremely motivated to do it right for Alice's sake, if nothing else. "It's good to hear that he made it up there and has found some support. If anyone can do it, you girls can."

It was shameless flattery, but it did the trick. I could almost hear her smile through the phone. "Why are you calling us?"

Eleazar must not have filled them in on what was happening. "I'm afraid that Jasper is feeling under the weather right now. I need to speak to Eleazar, please."

"I'll get him." I heard a clatter and muffled voices, then Eleazar was on the line. "Carlisle, how's it going? Is Jasper any better?" I could tell by his tone that he thought things would have sorted themselves out.

"No. He's worse, much worse." Hurriedly, I went over the progression of symptoms, starting with his change in eye color and strange comments about the wolves, and ending with his seizure a few minutes ago.

He hissed through the phone. "Carlisle, I don't know what to tell you. This is beyond what I can help you with. I hate to suggest this, but have you considered going to the Volturi?"

"Yes." There was no need for me to elaborate; we both knew how dangerous it was to even bring it up.

There was a long silence as we both contemplated the situation we had found ourselves in. Finally he spoke. "Do you need us to come down there? I can leave Laurent and Irina here to prevent any . . . accidents from occurring."

I didn't have the mental energy to be a good host, but some instinct was telling me to get as much of the Denali coven here as possible, as quickly as I could. That we were going to need all of the reinforcements we could get. I took a deep breath and forced out the words. "Yes. All of you, even Laurent. Something's coming, and we need to stand together for it."

"We'll be there by the day after tomorrow."

"Thank you, Eleazar."


	7. Chapter 7

**Jasper**

The pain came and went, an agony which rivaled the pain of being reborn into this life. But this time I didn't scream, didn't fuss, didn't do anything to try and ease the anguish which threatened to tear my body apart. Because, truth be told, I preferred the pain to the quiet stretches in between.

During those times, I was . . . well, I was nothing. I could feel my limbs, even make them move when I wanted them to, but I could feel something else in there, too, something that didn't belong. It felt like a weight in my chest, pushing on my dead heart. I didn't hurt, but it was always there. If there was pain, I was in charge of whatever it was. If there wasn't pain, it had taken over. Just like in my life before, pain was rapidly becoming a friend.

But there were moments in between, when I wasn't suffering yet but was still wholly myself, completely Jasper. In those moments, I tried to express what was happening to me. First to Carlisle and Alice, then to Edward, and Rose, and even Bella. Each time, I sensed their confusion, then pity as I struggled to form the words, only to have them come out incomprehensible, even to myself. Other words came out fine, which frightened me. Something was stopping me from communicating what was wrong.

When I wasn't lucid enough to control myself, I asked for Alice, for Esme, for Peter and Charlotte. During a weaker moment, I may have even asked for Maria. I just wanted someone whom I knew, someone who could understand what was happening to me. Maybe I just wanted a chance to tell them all goodbye.

Even when I was most aware, I still couldn't make my senses function correctly. I couldn't tell one member of the family from another, except for Alice. She was easy, because she was always there. Plus she was my mate, and I recognized her on a level far deeper than could be changed by my illness.

Bella, too, was recognizable, but only by her heartbeat. It thudded constantly and surely, soothingly. Far from making me hungry or causing me to want to attack her, I found it strangely predictable in a world which had become anything but. For the first time since Edward had seen her at school, almost a year ago, I found myself craving her presence.

Still, I understood Edward's fears. Vampires were predators and Bella, like all humans, was prey. All it would take would be her falling, or cutting herself in the kitchen, and she could die. If I didn't jump her, someone else might.

It wouldn't even have to be her fault. Emmett and I played rough, constantly slamming each other or launching each other through windows and doors. If we didn't realize she was there, and accidentally took down a wall . . . well, humans were fragile, and it wouldn't end well for her.

Twice during that time, Carlisle attempted to run a tube down my throat and provide blood to my starving body that way. Both times, it was a miserable failure. The blood wouldn't stay in my stomach long enough to provide any nutrition, and I was getting damn sick of throwing up. If there was one thing I despised above all others, it was being out of control, and right now, my body had decided to go for a ride without my permission.

Bella, bless her heart, had brought up a glass filled with blood ice cubes about fifteen minutes ago. She had been shy and stammering, barely understandable as she explained that if I sucked on one of those, it would dissolve in such small amounts that my stomach wouldn't try and reject it. At least that was their hope. I knew how Bella felt about blood, and figured I owed it to her to at least try and eat one or two. I just couldn't force myself to try.

"Well, look who's awake." The smell was unfamiliar, as was the voice, but I was able to visually place him as Carlisle. Had my senses been this weak when I was a human? Or was my body just shutting down?

"Barely." He wasn't carrying anything, but I felt my body tense up anyway. Carlisle saw it, and I felt a quick flash of disappointment. Again, my body disappointed me with its out-of-control reactions. I didn't want to cower every time Carlisle came into the room, but I couldn't help it. I now associated his presence with pain and illness.

He grinned. "Barely still counts. Did you try any of those ice cubes?"

"Not yet." I had actually gone an entire twelve hours without getting sick, and I didn't want to do anything that might disturb that fragile balance. "I'll try later." I was whining, and it was beyond pathetic, but I couldn't help it.

He backed off, no doubt remembering the last time he had tried the tube, and the blood had been ejected out of my body with such force that it not only hit my shirt, but his as well. At any other time, I would have found that completely humiliating, but right now, I was too sick to care.

Carlisle picked up various instruments, carefully checking me over. I had been afraid of that at first, but now I knew the routine by heart and, honestly, it took more strength to fight him then I currently possessed. He stuck the thermometer in my mouth to get a reading while he checked my eyes and ears, then my reflexes. Blah, blah, blah. Temperature elevated, pupils sluggish, ears clear, reflexes normal. I didn't even know why he bothered checking me so often.

"Jasper?" He sounded worried, so I forced myself to look up. I couldn't respond, not with the thermometer still in my mouth, but I hummed softly to let him know I was listening. "Do you want me to call Peter and have him come?"

In a second, I wanted both Peter and Charlotte so badly that it was a physical ache. They were family, as much as the Cullens were, if not more. Together we fought and together we suffered and that had created a bond which was hard for outsiders to understand.

"Where is everyone?" My voice was raspy.

"Bella's upstairs doing her homework. Esme took Rosalie and Alice shopping, and Emmett and Edward are out hunting. Would you like me to call Alice home?"

I shook my head, even though it hurt a little. Not only did I not want Alice to have to see me like this, I wanted her to be able to have fun. She deserved it after all I had put her though, and not just tonight. "Can you bring Edward in, though? I want to talk to him."

Actually, I usually liked nothing less than having to talk to Edward. He was so damn smug that I wanted throttle him sometimes. Plus, I didn't like the thought of him poking around in my head without my permission. There were things in there that _I_ didn't even want to know, much less have the rest of the family privy to. Still, his gift did have its advantages, and I desperately needed to get my message out to _someone,_ even if it was my least favorite family member.

Carlisle knew all about Edward's and my little spats, and one eyebrow rose in surprise. "I can go get him when we're done. Can you at least try and eat something? Please?"

I hated to disappoint him, almost as much as I hated disappointing Alice, so I picked a single blood cube out of the cup and put it in my mouth. Much to my surprise, my stomach didn't rebel. Actually, I found myself wanting even more. Hurriedly, I crunched through the ice and picked up the cup, gulping at what had melted into the bottom of the mug.

I could tell that Carlisle was torn between telling me not to drink so fast, and being pleased that I actually had an appetite. He did take the cup once I started in on another ice cube, though. "Jasper, that's enough for now."

No it wasn't. I was suddenly starving, and I very nearly growled at him to get my food back. At the last second, I forced myself to be silent and just enjoy some food that didn't come complete with overwhelming nausea as a side dish.

He must have seen the look in my eyes, because he nodded sympathetically. "If that stays down, and you want more in fifteen minute or so, you can have it back. You might wind up feeing full sooner than you think."

Of course a starving vampire would feel full after what amounted to a few mouthfuls of blood. But he was the leader, and a doctor, so I accepted his judgment without a fight. This was mostly because I knew Carlisle, and I knew that he would put the cup back down and forget all about it in a few minutes. The rest of the family obeyed his every command without a second thought, so he tended to assume I would automatically do the same.

Sure enough, he set the cup back down on the nightstand, just barely out of my reach. If I could just get him to leave . . . Belatedly, I realized that he was still speaking to me. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, we're going to have a very full house once Peter and Charlotte get here. That's eight plus us and Bella."

Those numbers didn't make sense. "Who else is coming?"

He shifted. "The entire Denali coven. I thought it would be better if we were all together, with you being sick like you are."

In other words, he wanted to let all of them come in and stare at me, like some sort of circus freak. I scowled heavily at him. "Tell them to go home."

"Jasper . . ." He sounded worn out, and, indeed, there was exhaustion coming from every pore. Immediately, I felt bad. True, this was hard on me, and I didn't want everyone around, touching me and invading my space, but it was hard on him, too. He loved all of us, and I knew all too well the struggle of trying to hold things together when they were all falling apart.

I certainly didn't think that I was Carlisle's favorite, or even that I was in the top three; those would be Esme, Edward, and Alice, in that order. But I did feel that he relied on me more than any of them. I'd been the second in command before, and I knew how to make hard decisions. Most of the time, I was better at it than Carlisle himself. It's not much, but the two of us had carved out a little niche all our own, something I had never thought would happen.

As much as I didn't want the Denalis here, to see me like this, I had to admit that Carlisle needed them. "If you want them to come, it's all right." It really, really wasn't, but I hated to see the strain on his face and know that I had put it there yet again.

"I should have asked you first. You were just so sick, and I didn't know what else to do. I'm just . . . I'm afraid that something is coming, and we're going to need to all be together."

Suddenly, I realized what was happening. Despite the best efforts of whatever that thing in my chest was, Carlisle wasn't fooled by my sudden recovery. This was good; it meant that they would be watching me really closely, and maybe they would be able to tell what was wrong, even if I couldn't tell them. "It's all right. I would like to see Irina again, anyway." I liked the little monster, even if she always did seem half serious when she flirted with me.

Carlisle must have read something in my face, because he chuckled. "She's with Laurent now."

"Really?" I hoped she knew what she was getting herself into. I loved Alice, and I knew she loved me back, but I knew she was sometimes frustrated with my lack of control. It would be rough going for a while.

"Oh, yes. Your virtue is now completely safe." He gave my shoulder a gentle pat, no doubt remembering all the times I had sought out refuge in his office to avoid the constant come-ons.

I doubted that. Irina was an inveterate flirt, and it was going to take more than Laurent to tame her. Having this new information did make their visit seem a little more appealing, though. Maybe there was a way to get the Denali girls back for all the teasing I had endured over the years.

A heartbeat sounded in the hallway, and Bella tentatively peeked her head in. "Hi, Jasper, how are you feeling?"

She was nervous, though whether it was fear of me or just shyness was hard to tell. "Better, thank you." I tried my best to give her a natural smile, instead of the worried one I was always told I make around humans.

It seemed to work, and she smiled back. "That's good. Uh, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"

We both glanced over at Carlisle, who shook his head gently. "I'm sorry, Bella, that isn't a very good idea."

Normally his words, and the implication that I needed a minder, would have irritated me, but I had to admit that he had a point. After all, it had only been a few days since I corned her in the hallway with the intent of killing her. Only blind luck and her quick thinking had gotten her out of that situation intact.

Or _had _I been about to kill her? The entire incident was fuzzy in my mind, but I didn't recall feeling an actual aggression towards her. She just happened to be in my way. Still, it just went to prove my theory that Bella could be easily injured or dead without any of us meaning to hurt her. "He's right, Bella."

Actually, I was quite curious about what she might have to say to me that she couldn't say in front of Carlisle. If my long life had taught me nothing else, though, it was that the truth would come out eventually, if I could be patient enough for it.

"Oh. Uh, maybe I'll just wait until Alice comes home, then. I'm glad you feel better, Jasper." She all but ran from the room, her emotions telling me how embarrassed she was.

Carlisle was as confused as I was. "What was that about?"

"No idea." Try as I might, I couldn't come up with one scenario where Bella would need me for anything. She liked me least out of the family members, with the possible exception of Rosalie. But for some reason, Bella and Rose seemed to be bonding now, which meant I probably _was_ last in her affections.

"Do you need anything else?" Carlisle was extremely hopeful, which surprised me. I thought carefully, trying to decipher the strange emotion. What did he want me to say?

Suddenly it hit me. I knew exactly what he wanted. "Could you stay with me, please?"

The spike in pleasure told me that I had said the right thing. Carlisle loved me, just like he loved the rest of them, but it was hard for us to express it. Sometimes he wanted me to be more like them, affectionate and sweet, and I couldn't always be that for him. I liked him, I really did, but I just didn't know how to act around him.

Before, when I was with Maria, it was a good thing when the coven leader wasn't around. Showing weakness was the fastest way to invite an attack, and all she did was get in the way anyway. Under normal circumstances, I had very good control of my gift, considering that I either had to learn how to control it or die, but when she was around, I was always tense and anxious myself, which made the newborns tense and anxious and caused fights. Carlisle was different, though. I had to remember that.

"Would you like me to read to you?"

The family had been doing that on and off for the past few days, after running out of topics to discuss with me. And by 'discuss,' I meant prattle at me until their voices gave out, because I was feeling too poorly to hold up my end of the conversation.

"Please." Truth be told, I loved being read to, though I was usually too shy to ask. When I had first arrived at the Cullen house, Rosalie had taken it upon herself to sit with me almost every night, reading some book or another out loud. She would later confess it was because she didn't think I was literate, and she had been assigned to keep an eye on me for those periods, but I loved it just the same. Not only was I hearing stories I had never even known existed, but I was being familiarized with my new sister at the same time. When we sat on the couch, I was able to memorize her voice and her smell, not to mention her emotional signature, with very little effort. It bonded us in a special way that persisted to this day.

He picked up a book that had been resting on the floor beside the bed. _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_, which happened to be my favorite of the books. One of his eyebrows raised, and I nodded my agreement. I so seldom got Carlisle's attention entirely to myself that I was unwilling to give up even a few seconds of it now.

As usual, Harry was up to his butt in trouble before I sensed Alice returning. She bounced up the stairs and threw herself on top of me, chattering away. The gist of her conversation seemed to be that she had found the perfect dress on sale, and bought it in three colors. I was much more interested in soaking up her sweet and loving emotions than I was in her words.

Carlisle closed the book. "I'll leave you two alone, then. Do you want me to send Bella back in?"

"Sure." Normally I wouldn't have cared one way or the other, but I was curious to know exactly what the human had wanted earlier, especially since she hadn't wanted to say anything in front of Carlisle.

I could have just asked Alice, who had surely had a vision of what was about to happen. That took the mystery out of things, though, and I hated to do it. There was no denying that Alice's gift came in handy, but I wouldn't have wanted it for myself. Her soft half-smile told me that nothing bad was going to happen.

There was brief break while Carlisle summoned Bella and she came down the hallway, so I used it to drink the rest of the blood in the cup. It was mostly melted by now, and went down easily. I gave Alice a sad look. "Am I going to be sick again?"

She chuckled, tracing one thumb over my eyebrow. I knew she was touching the scar there, something she always did. I'm not really sure why, but I was glad enough that she would touch those scars at all, instead of being disgusted by them, so I never asked.

Even if I hadn't been able to hear her heartbeat, the nervousness coming down the hall would have told me it was Bella right away. She gave me a timid smile. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Alice spoke for me. "Come on and sit down." She gave the side of the bed a quick pat.

Bella gave me a nervous look, probably checking to see if I was going to go for her throat. I nodded, and she chose a spot. A few minutes passed, while she played with her hair and tried to gather the courage to speak. A rogue urge to help her out surfaced, but I didn't move or speak. I hated being pushed into speaking when I wasn't ready, and I'm sure that Bella would, too.

Finally she came out with it. "Can I ask you about how you became a vampire, or would that make you mad?"

I should have known she would be curious about that; everyone who met me was. I wondered if she had seen my scars, though, or if Edward had said something to her. "You can certainly ask, but why would you think it would make me angry?"

She flushed lightly, the blood moving to her face and causing the first stirring of hunger in my gut in days. I gave Alice a quick glance, but she only gave me an encouraging nod. I didn't feel like I might attack Bella, and she didn't even really smell like a meal, but it was nice to have someone else confirm it. She was a special girl, and Edward's mate, so her safety was paramount. After another pause, she shrugged and looked down at her hands. "Edward always gets mad if I say anything about it."

Of course he did. Edward wanted to be a human, even worse than Rosalie did. His longing had become worse since meeting Bella, but it had always been there. He wanted to be perfect for Bella, and in his mind, only a human could be perfect. I'm not sure where he got that idea, since it certainly didn't come from Carlisle. It was rather ironic, considering that Bella thought that the only way _she_ could be perfect for _Edward _was by becoming a vampire. The whole _Romeo and Juliet_ angle made my head spin sometimes.

I tried to think of the best way to put this. "Bella, Edward doesn't get angry with you. He just doesn't like having any attention called to the fact that he's different from you. He wants to be perfect, and he feels like he has to be human to be so."

She heaved a frustrated sigh, making a face that might have been considered fierce if she was in a room with anyone but a bunch of vampires. "He's perfect just like he is, but he drives me crazy sometimes! He doesn't want me to be like you guys, because he thinks I'm making a foolish choice, but how can I make an educated one if he won't give me any real details about what it's actually like to be a vampire! He treats me like a little girl." The last part came out sounding very dejected.

Ah, so this was what it was all about. She wanted to know about vampires, so she asked the half-wild vampire in the coven. I was certainly a good choice, since I knew more about the average vampire then the rest of the family put together. Plus, I wasn't too afraid of frightening Bella to be completely honest with her.

"Actually, the fact that you want to discuss this shows amazing maturity. What exactly do you want to know?"

Her happiness rose, and it made me smile to feel it. For the past few days, all I had been surrounded with was worry, stress, and fear, which were understandable emotions, but didn't do much for my mental state. "You mean I can just ask you anything?"

Not exactly. I didn't want to tell her any part of my past that would terrify her beyond recovery. There were things, hundreds of them, that I hadn't told the Cullens, and things that I hadn't even told Alice. "I reserve the right to refuse to answer anything I deem too personal, but basic questions are fine."

She started talking immediately, perhaps afraid that I would change my mind. "Edward said you had another family before you came here. Uh, he said that they were regular vampires, not the vegetarian kind." She stopped, probably assuming I would refuse to discuss it.

"He was right. I was turned as a normal, human-drinking vampire." I wasn't sure where she was going with this, so I waited for her to continue.

"Why?" It was a very soft, very genuine, question.

"Why what? Why was I turned, or why was I turned to drink from humans?" I wasn't a mind reader, nor could I use Alice's gift to anticipate how this conversation would go. She needed to be more clear if she wanted answers.

"No, I know why you were turned to drink humans. That's just what vampires do. They're top of the food chain, and it's kind of strange for them to pick a vegetarian lifestyle. No offense, guys." That last part was not only for Alice, but for Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie, who were still in the house and perfectly capable of hearing this conversation. "No, what I mean was why were you turned at all? I know Carlisle turned Edward because he was lonely and wanted a companion. Was your maker lonely, too?"

"Not exactly." If I had been capable of such a thing, I would have probably blushed, too. I'm no prude, but I was raised in a time when a man did not discuss sexual matters in front of any woman, even his own wife. To do it in front of my brother's mate would be unthinkable under any other circumstances. "I do believe that Maria was lonely, but not in the same way Carlisle was. She was looking for a . . . well, a different sort of companion."

Alice growled softly. She despised Maria, far more than I did. Sure, I had suffered under her leadership, but there were good times, too, plenty of them. Times when we danced and played and generally had fun. But Maria was a previous lover, and Alice wasn't going to forgive that.

"What do you . . . Oh." Bella turned a bright red this time. "Never mind, I get it."

"But that wasn't the main reason she turned me. She wanted a male companion, not only for what you're thinking of, but for the cover it provided her. Those were different times, Bella. A woman didn't walk around unescorted without drawing attention, and vampires thrive on our ability to keep ourselves a secret. The fact that I was a very gifted human whose talent would be multiplied when I became a vampire added to my appeal, so she turned me. She wouldn't have turned just any man who crossed her path that night, though. Above all else, Maria was patient, and she was willing to wait for the perfect person to cross her path."

"So she didn't turn you because of who you were, she turned you because of what you were." Bella flinched a little, her embarrassment rising. "Sorry, that was rude."

"No, you're right." I prided myself on my ability to accept the truth, no matter how painful. "That's exactly why she turned me. That isn't to say that we didn't become very fond of each other, and close in many ways, but I was turned for her benefit."

"Can I ask how it happened?"

Honestly, I didn't have the strength to relieve that particular memory. "Maybe we can talk about it another time."

One of the things I liked about Bella was that she could take a hint and move on. "All right, but let me ask one question. Were you dying?"

What a strange question. "No, I was quite healthy."

"So, you would have gone on to live a long life if she hadn't changed you."

Ah, now her questions were starting to make sense. "Possibly. Or I might have died the next night. You have to understand, Bella, this was 1863 and the country was at war. I could have been shot, or gotten sick, or fallen off my horse, and chances were, I would have died from any or all of them. Even if that hadn't happened, what was a long life then isn't considered one now."

"Yeah, I guess." There was a silence while she gathered her thoughts. "It's just . . . if you could go back, knowing what you do now, what would you do?"

It was a question I had asked myself thousands of times. What would it have changed, if anything? I was moving quickly up the ranks of the Confederate Army, and while I tried not to get an ego about it, it wasn't inconceivable that I could have been serving directly under Lee himself. Whether or not that would have affected the outcome of the war was something that I would never know.

There was something that I did know. If I hadn't been turned into a vampire, there were thousands of humans that would still be alive. My gift prevented me from going on rampages and killing humans for the thrill of it, but I did need to eat. Maria's army was filled with highly trained athletes, and we needed plenty of food to keep ourselves in top shape. Then there were all the humans Maria had ordered turned to keep our numbers up. She had done the turning herself at first, but eventually abdicated that responsibility to me. It had taken a few tries before I was able to stop myself from killing them outright, but Maria was nothing if not persuasive, and she had her ways of convincing me to do better. Her very, very painful ways.

But if I had never been turned, I wouldn't have Alice. I would have gotten married, because that was what you did at the time, and I would have loved my wife, but my soul mate wouldn't be born for decades, and I would have been dead before our paths could ever cross. Was my happiness worth all the suffering I had caused? Probably not, but I was too selfish to want to give her up.

"That's a complicated question, Bella." I decided to take a chance and ask a question of my own. "Is this about me and my becoming a vampire, or you and your becoming a vampire?"

She heaved another frustrated sigh and flopped bonelessly back on the bed, practically landing on top of me. She had never been this close to me before, and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't attempting to kill her. To my great surprise, I didn't feel hungry at all. Alice gave a soft gasp, the once she always gave when she went into a vision. Bella and I both looked at her, but she had already come out of it, smiling at both of us.

"I just feel like everybody knows what's best for me, and has no problem telling me so." Her brow abruptly furrowed. "Why am I not afraid of you?"

Good question. Of the family, I was the one most likely to harm her, whether I actually wanted to or not. "Edward has always claimed that you don't have very good self-preservation instincts."

"I apparently don't do anything very well." Her dark eyes stared pleadingly into mine and I didn't need to use my gift to know that she desperately wanted me to tell her differently. Bella might be an amazing girl, but she was only seventeen years old, with all the self-esteem issues that come with that age.

"Bella, you faced down a raging vampire bent on destroying you and didn't die. That's a plus, right?"

There was a quick spike of amusement from Alice, but she didn't say a word. This conversation was between Bella and me, and while it was necessary for her to be present, for safety's sake, she wasn't going to contribute in any way. It was the closest I was going to get to privacy for a long time. I shot my mate a look, and she rolled her eyes, telling me that I had no idea how to comfort a woman.

"I guess. Am I being a stupid little girl to want to give up my entire life for Edward? Rosalie says that I am."

Of course Rose would say that. She had never quite forgiven the entire male sex for Royce, and was utterly galled at the thought of making any choice based on what a man might think. It had taken me years to get past her walls, even with my careful monitoring of her emotions, and even longer before we became first brother and sister, then twins. Even now I was cautious, letting her make the majority of the decisions for us. It was a small price to pay for peace in the house.

I knew what Bella was asking, but not what to say to her. Of all the Cullens, I was the only one not facing certain death when I was changed. She knew what a gift she was being given in having a choice, and she was determined not to waste it. "Bella, I can't tell you that. What I would have done with my life, or what Rose would have done with hers, doesn't matter. What matters is you, and what you really want for your life. If what you really want is Edward and being a vampire, then it's the right choice. If what you really want is to live and die a human with Edward, then it's the right choice. If what you want is to be a vampire or a human with_out_ Edward, then that's the right choice. Only you can know."

When she smiled, I knew I had said the right thing for once. "Thank you, Jasper. It's nice to have someone who doesn't think I'm doing everything wrong." She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck, squeezing tightly. It hurt, since my neck was still stiff and tender, but I didn't give any indication of that. I felt emotions much better when I was touching someone, and right now Bella was ecstatic and self confident, two of my favorites. Well, they were my favorites if you didn't count everything that came off of Alice.

Bella withdrew abruptly. "I'm sorry, am I making things hard for you, hanging all over you like this?"

"No, it's fine." Actually, it was. Bella still smelled good, but she no longer smelled like food. Truth be told, the thought of feeding off of her made me feel a little nauseous. Or maybe I was just getting ready to throw up what I had just eaten. _Please, God, not again._

Alice smiled softly. "Bella, Edward is home."

Even as she spoke, I could hear him bounding up the stairs. He appeared in the doorway, all boyish grin and worried eyes. "How come everyone is hanging out in here?"

"Jasper and I were talking." Bella didn't back down like she usually did. Good for her, since it would be a long eternity if she didn't learn to stand up for herself and her opinions. "He helped me sort a few things out."

"Oh. You know, you can come to me with any problems you might have. I'll always be glad to help you." He was trying to pick at my mind, but I blocked him easily. Bella, of course, was safe from his ability and Alice was pointedly ignoring all of us.

Bella laughed lightly. "Oh, I know that. It's just nice to get an outside opinion on things sometimes. Now, are you going to type up my English paper for me? It's all written out and Carlisle proofread it."

"Of course." He looked over me. "Jasper, you look better."

"I'm feeling better, thanks."

"Bella and I will give you two some privacy, then. I'm glad you're better." His emotions were genuine, and I gave him a sweet smile. "Me, too."

Bella waved goodbye as they left, already chattering away about his hunt and her homework. Alice immediately took her place, laying her head on my chest. "See, Jasper, women can't resist hopping into bed with you. You can be quite charming when you aren't being creepy and scaring the humans."

Out of all the Cullens, Hales, Whitlocks, Masons, McCartys and, soon, Swans, I tended to bother the humans the most. Part of it was undoubtedly that staring thing that I did while I had a mental debate about the pros of killing a few of them versus the cons of disappointing Carlisle and Alice. I personally thought there was more, though. My scars are all but invisible to them, unless I'm in very clear lighting, but they have to sense something different about me, something that says I know how to fight. They shy away from the rest of the family, but I actually frighten them. Edward claims that isn't so, that I'm just paranoid, but if there's one thing I know, it's emotions. They were wary around everyone else, and downright terrified of me. Not that it bothered me much. The more space between them and me, the better. Less likely that there would be a slaughter.

I didn't say any of this to Alice, though. I just ran my fingers through her hair and rumbled in the back of my chest. I still felt physically fine, but the pressure in my chest was still there, and I had grown increasingly uneasy for reasons I didn't quite understand. She scooted up and laid her forehead against mine. "You were really nice to Bella just now. She's having a hard enough time without all of us butting in with our opinions. See, you can be close to her, if you would just trust yourself."

There were reasons — only two so far, but that was two deaths too many — that I didn't trust myself, and we both knew it. Neither one of us brought it up, though. It would just lead to an argument and neither one of us wanted that. It was just better to lay here for a while, eyes closed and perfectly happy. No matter what happened from here on out, no matter how bad things got, I would still have the memory of this moment, and that was enough.


	8. Chapter 8

**Alice**

Jasper's really quiet now, except for the soft rumbling still coming out of his throat. He's awake, which is an improvement over the past few days, but it's a strange sort of wakefulness. His eyes are open, and yellow, and he's responding appropriately to my questions. He even managed to eat a little, with no signs of illness. There's no one thing that says something is wrong, except everything is.

For one thing, his future is still somewhat blank. Watching his future was second nature to me, and one of the easiest things I did. Everything he did was so entwined with me and my future, that it was nearly the same as looking into my own.

The visions came and went. Some of them came true, some of them didn't, but Jasper was always there. Just today, one had vanished completely, the attack that happened at the party. Things had changed between Jasper and Bella, a bond was forged, and now the attack wasn't going to happen. Just a tiny conversation, but everything had changed.

But other things had changed, too. His future was blurry at best, and gone other times. I kept seeing the woods, the exact spot that Emmett, Edward and I had gone to before. Only this time it wasn't empty. This time there was a woman there, beckoning Jasper to her. Everyone was there, even Bella, all of us pleading for him to stay with us. He looked helplessly at the family, then went forward, leaving us behind. He didn't fight, just walked away from all of us as if we meant nothing. As if what he and I shared was little more than some teenage fling.

Still, that vision was preferable to another one that kept popping up. In that one, the woman called to Jasper again, but he wouldn't go. He kept backing up until he was in the middle of our family, where he should have been safe. Except more vampires suddenly appeared, at least twenty, surrounding us and blocking any hope of escape. Then the massacre began.

The visions were terrible in their certainty. Either we lost Jasper, when he went to the woman voluntarily, or the entire family died. He might not be very good at expressing it, but Jasper loved the Cullens deeply. If he thought there was even the smallest chance that something could happen to us, he would sacrifice himself to keep us out of harm's way. No matter what happened, I was going to lose him.

How my visions tied in with his illness was a bit more confusing. Was he in danger because of this mystery woman, or because he was ill? Or had she caused his illness? But how?

"Quit worrying." Jasper sounded amused. "You can't change anything right now and you're starting to give me another headache."

I stretched up to kiss him on the lips. "Sorry. Jasper, I had another vision of the woods."

He nodded tiredly. "Anything new this time?"

"No, just the same woman. She's blond, really pretty, red eyes. She was wearing a dress and she looked too clean to be a nomad. Are you sure you don't know her?"

He sighed and gave his head a frustrated shake. Of course he didn't know her; my description wasn't exactly the best. He had probably known hundreds, if not thousands, of pretty blond vampires in his time. For one of the first times ever, I wished that Jasper had Edward's gift, so I could push the image directly into his brain.

"I'm sorry, Alice, I just don't know."

Now was not the time to let my frustration and annoyance leak out. If I did, Jasper would immediately assume that I was angry with him, even though it was myself I was furious at. What good was having visions if I couldn't use them to protect my family? I kissed him again. "It's all right. Things will reveal themselves as time goes by."

"Unless it's too late." His voice was grim.

I brushed his hair back. "Always the optimist."

He chuckled, but I knew I hadn't relieved any of his worries. Life hadn't given him a whole lot of reason to expect good things.

Another vision overwhelmed me, but it was a good one this time. "Peter and Charlotte will be here in an hour or so."

His entire face lit up with such an expression of joy that I laughed as well. Jasper loved our family, but he missed his old one. He had no idea what had happened to the newborns he had been fighting with and training, though I knew he had a few ideas, none of them good. The only reason Maria had been able to control more than three or four at a time was because of him, so she had likely cut the ranks down to nothing as soon as he bolted. We never discussed it, but I know how much it hurt him to think of that.

But he did know about Peter and Charlotte. We didn't talk much about their past with him either, but I know how close he was to them, especially Peter. Without him, I have no doubt that Jasper would no longer be with us. He would have either been destroyed by Maria or ended up destroying himself.

Unfortunately, Peter and Charlotte didn't visit as often as anyone would like. It wasn't that they weren't welcome here, despite not choosing our lifestyle; it was just that they tended to remain on the opposite side of the country, and could be very hard to reach. Things had significantly improved since the invention of the cell phone, but Jasper was a typical guy, and had zero interest in long phone conversations. He wanted Peter here, with him, even though all parties involved knew that it wouldn't work.

Edward hadn't been thrilled about them coming to visit, not with Bella around, but, for once, he had been totally overruled by Carlisle. As hard as he tries not to play favorites among us kids, he does sometimes let Edward run things a bit more than he should. I've noticed it particularly when it comes to spats between Edward and Jasper.

With very few exceptions, Carlisle will almost always take Edward's side. They usually argue over minor things, like where to go hunting, or the night's entertainment, but I knew it frustrated Jasper to never get his way on things.

I hated to get in the middle of what really isn't my business, but I also hated to see Jasper be pushed around. He had learned early and painfully that you didn't contradict the coven leader unless it was a matter of life and death, and whether we went to go see Avatar or Hamlet didn't qualify in his mind, so he would never dream of standing up for himself in the matter.

There's more than one reason that Edward tends to get his way, of course. Part of it is that, before Bella at least, Edward was alone in a family of mated vampires, and it seemed like giving him his way was a small price to pay to try and make up for that a little. Not to mention that Edward pouts when he doesn't get his way, and Jasper tends to get over it in a few seconds. There are definitely times when Carlisle gives in just to keep the peace.

But Jasper being ill and wanting the comfort of his best friends was a far cry from wanting to pick the movie. Carlisle had told Edward in no uncertain terms that Bella was welcome to come and visit, or she could stay home, but Peter and Charlotte were coming whether he liked it or not. Edward had grumbled, but had finally acquiesced with the understanding that Bella would come nowhere near the house while they were here.

Ostensibly, Jasper had been totally unaware of the argument, but I didn't really believe that. There's very little that happens in this house that he doesn't have at least a little idea about, and most of the time he knows everything. Whether it's a talent of his or whether he's just incredibly observant is a matter of some debate, but it's something that we all keep in mind.

Bella won't be staying away, of course. Edward might have Carlisle wrapped around his finger, but Bella has Edward wrapped around hers. I had already seen her there, joking with Peter. I didn't say anything about that, though; there had been enough drama around this house recently.

Jasper gave me a gentle nudge. "When are the Denalis coming?"

I scanned the future, focusing on Eleazar. "They've stopped to hunt. Depending on how long it takes, anywhere from three to five hours. Everyone will be here before midnight. Is there a special reason you wanted to know?" I knew that something was on his mind, something he was having trouble expressing.

"It's just that . . ." He trailed off, his jaw working strangely as he tried to force the words out. This had happened a few times over the past day or so, and it was frightening. He had been trying so hard to say something while he was still delirious that I had actually called Edward in to try and get a read on his thoughts. Edward had tried, but claimed it was like trying to read a book with half the words missing. Some thoughts were very clear—mostly his longing for the presence of both this family and Peter and Charlotte—but others had vanished. It as those missing thoughts, more than anything else, that made me frightened that this wasn't over yet.

"If it's going to be that soon, I need to take a shower. I haven't had one in days, and I'm disgusting."

"Irina will still like you, no matter how gross you are." I personally found her obvious crush on my mate a lot funnier than he did. He would never cheat, never even consider it, and she would never betray me like that. We just both liked to see him squirm a bit. "If you wait, I'll bet she'll wash your back for you. Or your front."

He laughed a little. "Didn't Carlisle tell you? She's apparently found a soul mate in Laurent."

Why was that name familiar? "Wait, Laurent from the baseball field? The one with dreadlocks?"

"Yes. So, since she's out of the picture, how about _you _wash my back?" He paused, and one eyebrow raised. "Or my front. That would be just fine with me."

If he was interested in sex, he must be feeling better. "I'm sure that can be arranged, but only if we hurry."

Thank God for vampire speed, because Jasper was out of bed and stripping off his clothes within seconds. By the time I leisurely rose and ambled towards the bathroom, he was naked and had the shower turned on. He bounced excitedly when he saw me. "Come on, come on."

"Pervert." Still, I didn't want to lose this moment, so I pulled my clothes off. This past week was probably the longest we had gone without making love since we had met, and I had to feel his hands on me again. I had come within an inch of losing him, and still might, so I needed to enjoy these moments while I still could.

Things were soft and tender in the shower, far more gentle than they usually were. I took the time to trace my fingers over his body, even though I had every scar memorized, every muscle mapped. He seemed to sense how badly I needed this, because he held perfectly still under the spray, even though he really wasn't that fond of being touched, especially when he doesn't initiate it.

Since he'd been ill, he'd been extremely cuddly, but, usually, while Jasper never likes to be more than a few feet away from me, it's extremely unusual for him to want to be touched like this. It had been nice at first, but I was ready to have my Jasper back, just the way he used to be.

He seemed much happier afterwards, chatting lightly while I chose his clothes. I knew that Peter ragged on him when I did that, but Jasper's partially colorblind, something that becoming a vampire apparently doesn't fix, and he absolutely cannot be trusted to choose his own outfits. When he does try, he either ends up clashing or all in black. I did concede to a simple jeans and long sleeved T-shirt combination, which worked for both of us. He probably would have agreed to just about anything, though; he was pretty excited about seeing Peter and Charlotte again.

Neither one of them drove, so Jasper and I went downstairs to monitor the woodline. Finally, after what felt like forever, his head snapped up. "They're here."

Of course he would know before anyone else. Once Jasper had someone's emotional signature memorized, he could locate them at a distance of nearly a mile, no matter how hard they tried to hide. He was up and bounding across the backyard before his words had settled.

I held back on the porch, because this was one of my favorite things to watch. Peter exploded out of the woods, meeting Jasper halfway and slamming into him with a sound like waves crashing together. The force of it nearly took both of them off of their feet, but neither one cared. Peter threw his arms around Jasper's neck, his laugher floating across the yard, laughter that Jasper gladly returned. He laid his forehead against Peter's, smiling blissfully.

Staring at them like this was beyond rude, but I couldn't help it. This was one of the few times I saw Jasper truly, truly happy. He was the same way right after we made love, but very seldom at other times. He's content here with the Cullens, at least for the most part, but I know there's a large part of him that wants to be like Peter and Charlotte, running free in a huge territory as opposed to being confined to one house. He stayed because of me, because this was the life I wanted, and there are times when I don't understand how he doesn't resent me for it.

Jasper gave Peter a quick kiss on the mouth, then a gentle headbutt, before letting go and greeting Charlotte. He's sweet to her, but not as affectionate as he is towards his brother.

Emmett had asked me one time if it bothered me, seeing Jasper hug and kiss another man like that. Of course it didn't. Jasper didn't have any sexual attraction to Peter. The pair of them were bonded in a way none of the rest of us understood, a way forged by pain and suffering and needing to stick together if they were going to see another day. Charlotte agreed, claiming that there was a special bond between soldiers, human or vampire. They were both a little wild, more so than the rest of us.

I let them have their moment together, then came down to greet our friends. Peter gave me a huge hug, and Charlotte kissed my cheek. She was as radiant as ever, her red eyes only adding to her allure.

Belatedly, I remembered my hostess duties, and led them to the guest room. True, we didn't sleep, but it had been a long journey for them, and no doubt they wanted to at least shower and rest a bit. Charlotte accepted the offer, but Peter refused to leave Jasper's side. He didn't say much, but his worry was palpable when he looked at my mate. I wanted to say something correct and comforting, but we would all recognize it as the lie that it was.

"Hey, bro!" Emmett came out of the living room, his golden eyes sparkling. He had been more than willing to accept Jasper's family as his family since you could never have enough brothers, at least not in Emmett's mind. Personally, I think he was hoping that our family would eventually grow large enough that we could play actual baseball games, nine on each team. The prospect seemed doubtful, but none of us wanted to tell him that.

"Emmett, you look well. Bigger than ever." Peter gave him a one armed hug.

Emmett hadn't changed, of course. Like all of us, he was incapable of such a thing. But a little ego stroke never hurt anyone, and he was laughing again and flexing his biceps.

Jasper snorted, unimpressed by his brother's display. My man could take Emmett any day of the week, and we all knew it. He had never actually shown the family how well he could fight, other than some playful wrestling, but it was understood, if not acknowledged, that those scars had come from somewhere, and the fact that he was still with us meant he was a formidable opponent.

Peter, too, looked amused rather than intimidated. "So, other than Major Wimpy over here having a poorly tummy, what have I missed? Where's the human?"

"Probably at home, under the careful eye of her lovely jailer. He wants her to stay home and safe." Emmett rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"Ah. Something tells me that that is a job easier said than done. Didn't she manage to give you the slip, Major?"

That as a bit of a sore subject, since her sneaking off had both wounded Jasper's pride, and made him feel bad about her injuries later, but he just popped Peter's shoulder. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting that. Women have become much bolder and sneakier since my last round of babysitting duties. If we hadn't been in the sunniest place on earth, though, I still would have nabbed her before she hit the car."

It might have sounded like his ego talking, but it wasn't. Jasper had no need to brag, because he really was that good. Actually, he had been convinced that he could have beat her to the car and dragged her back before anyone noticed his sparkle, but I had held him back. He could have done it without an issue, but it would have changed everything, and we wouldn't have made it out of the encounter with James as lightly as we did.

"Maybe we should go over there and pay her a visit, huh, Char? Check this amazing girl out for ourselves?"

Her eyes rolled again. "Peter, you are a guest, and you will behave yourself. No sense in getting Edward all worked up."

This was, of course, the drawback of Peter and Charlotte coming to visit. He tended to bring Jasper's naughty side out, and there was nothing the pair of them enjoyed more than tormenting Edward. Like schoolboys, they would gang up on him, teasing playfully until it about drove him crazy. They had tried it on Emmett, but he was such a good-natured goof that he played right along with them. Peter had once suggested they try Rosalie, since it was too easy to rile Edward, but Jasper had disabused him of that notion pretty quickly. My mate might have his problems, but he didn't have a death wish.

"Can I mess with his sheet music?"

No wonder Peter and Emmett got along so well. They were on the same maturity level. Sure enough, Emmett was grinning. "Come along, my partner in crime, I'll show you where he keeps it."

Peter didn't move. "Nah, it's not fun if he's not there to see it right away. We'll wait until he gets home, then one of us can distract him."

The translation of that was that he didn't want to leave Jasper, not even for the few minutes it would take to mess with Edward's piano. Though not traditionally gifted, Peter was intuitive. Furthermore, he knew Jasper nearly as well as I did, and he, too, saw something in my mate's appearance or behavior that frightened him.

"Sure, sure." Emmett leaned back against the couch. "You hungry? I know you don't like animal that much, but I stocked up on mountain lion. That applies to you, too, Jasper."

Peter shook his head, looking vaguely nauseous. "I'm good, thanks."

When they visited us, Peter and Charlotte abided by our diet. Hunting humans in our territory aroused suspicions, and we needed the anonymity. They didn't like it, and made faces whenever they were forced to hunt even carnivores, but they did it. That small thing made their love for Jasper clearer than any words ever could.

"Jasper?"

"Actually, yeah, I'm kind of hungry. Will you get it for me?" Jasper cocked his head at Emmett and smiled gently.

There was no reason that he couldn't get his own, but we were all so thrilled to see Jasper showing any interest in food that we would do anything to see him fed. "Sure dude, you want your cup?"

"Please." Jasper has this thing about not sharing glassware with anyone else, even me. It's strange, because he will share a fresh kill, but he won't even sip out of a cup that doesn't belong to him, no matter how hungry he is. This led to Emmett getting a huge mug with a smiley face on it that belonged to Jasper and Jasper alone. Emmett had even decorated the smiley face with a sharpie, drawing a large pair of fangs on its happy face. Jasper won't say why he needs his own cup, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that bitch who had him first.

Whether it's part of his gift, or that he just possesses an extremely forgiving nature, Jasper doesn't seem to hold the same grudges against Maria that I do. He hardly ever brings her up, but when he does, it's with a sort of tempered sadness and regret. I don't think he's ever gotten truly angry with her. He may feel it, deep inside, but he doesn't let it show.

Fine with me; I can hate her more than enough for the both of us. She had injured my mate, not directly, but by putting him in harm's way, and she hadn't cared. Every bite, every mark on his perfect body was her fault, and I would never forgive her for that. Ever.

She had treated him like crap, and this family had never been anything but kind to him. He preferred us, obviously, which was why he stayed here instead of going back to her, but sometimes I didn't think it was enough. To hear him call for her while he was still delirious had been like a shot to the heart.

He seemed to have no memory of that now, though. That should have made me feel good, but it didn't. Instead it made me feel like he was hiding things from me, whether it was out of shame or distrust. It was like he could only be honest when he was too sick to keep it bottled up.

Those were things I would need to bring up to him, but not right now. Right now, he was still recovering, and it would be best if we went easy on him for a while. Too many tough emotions could be painful for him, and I didn't want to do anything that might add to his pain. If only I could be 100% certain that we had a later to go to.

"Here you go, bro." Emmett handed the mug to Jasper, who gulped it quickly. "Thanks, Emmett."

"No problem. So Pete, you want to play Xbox? Oh, we got a Wii a few months ago. You played that yet?"

The crimson eyes lit up. "No way! Char and I wanted one, but every time we found a store that had them, we were too far out to transport it home."

I knew that they were as good as lost. I liked the Wii myself, but the boys were insanely competitive, even at games like bowling, and they would spend hours at it. "Charlotte, why don't you and I do something else?" I hated to leave Jasper, but even I had to admit that he couldn't be in better hands.

Even knowing that, though, I couldn't force myself to go much further than the living room. "How about a chick flick and some manicures?" I knew she didn't get enough girl time, since it was just her and Peter most of the time. Every once in a while, they would hook up with another small group of nomads, but it was rare. They were selective about their victims, choosing only those who deserved or longed for death, and most vampires had a hard time understanding that. To them, a meal was a meal, no matter who the person might or might not be.

Sometimes I thought Jasper might be happier if he and I were to join with them, and accept their lifestyle instead of a totally vegetarian one. It would be less pressure on him, and a smaller coven was really better for any vampire with an empathetic gift. He would be dealing with fewer emotions on a daily basis, and, when the bloodlust took the coven over, a smaller number of members meant less hunger coming his way and that he would be able to stay more in control.

I had even broached the subject with him once, only to have him smile sadly and tell me he was happy just where he was, with the Cullens. It was a lie, but I knew better than to push the topic. Jasper has a bad habit of putting my happiness far above his own, and he would stay with the family even if it was slowly killing him, which I sometimes think it is.

That's not to say that I don't think he loves them, because he does, in his own strange way. Actually, I think Jasper loves the Cullens about as well as he's capable of loving anyone. But that isn't saying much. Jasper is sweet, and wonderful to me, but even I can recognize that he is very, very damaged. He has trouble with strangers, human or vampire, and can be very cold, even within the family. Carlisle and Esme hide it well from the rest of us, though of course Jasper reads their disappointment as clearly as if they said it out loud.

Emmett's uproarious laughter broke through the room, followed by both Peter's and Jasper's. Charlotte and I exchanged looks, our shared gaze telling us everything we needed to know. The boys were about to get into trouble. "Should we try and stop them?"

"Nah. How much trouble can they possibly get into with us right here?"

If she had spent any amount of time in the company of both Emmett and Jasper, she would know what a foolish question that was. Emmett was always trying to think of new ways to create chaos in the family, and now that he has Jasper, the possibilities are endless. Emmett's playful nature combined with Jasper's talent for strategy meant that poor Edward ended up the butt of plenty of pranks. I had told him multiple times that is he would quit being such a drama king every time they did something, they would lose interest, but it's hard to tell Edward anything. "You don't want to know."

"He never used to play, you know." Charlotte held out her right hand for me to put polish on. Even vampires have trouble with things like polishing their dominant hand neatly.

"Who? Jasper?" Every time we saw Peter and Charlotte, I learned something new about my mate.

"Yes. When I knew him, he was so serious and worried all the time. He almost never smiled, and I don't know that I ever saw him laugh. I don't know if he ever relaxed at all. This place is good for him."

She had no idea how nice it was to hear those words from an outside party. Teachers at school invariably suggested a psychological evaluation for Jasper, not to mention ongoing counseling. His first trip through high school, we had expected it. After all, it was a huge adjustment for him, and a little odd behavior was to be expected. By his twelfth trip through school, almost sixty years later, it sometimes got a little frustrating.

"I hate her so much for what she did to him." I kept my voice low, too low for the boys to hear it. Jasper wouldn't say much, but I knew he didn't like it when I said anything bad about Maria.

Charlotte leaned back, her eyes thoughtful. "I don't think it was always like that. You'd need to talk to Peter; he knows more about the beginning than I do. I was only there for a year, but he was there much longer."

"And Jasper was there longer than him." No one knew how long he had been there exactly, since they didn't really keep track of the years then, but decades.

"He was. But like I said, I don't think it was the same way in the beginning. Back then, all she wanted was a territory that would support six vampires. Her, Jasper, Lucy, Nettie, and their mates. It was only when she realized how powerful Jasper was becoming that she started wanting more and more. You would need to talk to someone else about that, but I'm not sure who. Peter never even knew Lucy or Nettie; they were going long before his time. Apparently one or both of them tried to stage a take-over."

It had been Nettie, and Maria had been the one to take care of them, not Jasper. He always seemed ambiguous when he told that story. On the one hand, he had never trusted either one of them, and they sometimes ganged up on him and treated him cruelly while he was still a newborn. So he really wasn't terribly sad to see them gone. On the other hand, they had been with Maria longer then he had, and she had turned on them. It was proof that no one, not even he, was indispensable.

"Shit!" Peter's voice was panicky. "Alice, Alice we need you right now!"

My body was through the doorway before my mind processed his words. Peter was holding Jasper up, a hand cupped underneath his face. Blood covered Jasper's face, dripping over Peter's hand. "Chill, Major, it's okay."

Emmett was already dialing Carlisle. "Dad, come home. It's happening again."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This may be my favorite chapter so far. It's always nice to get an outsiders view on things. As a teaser you will be getting two additional outsider views down the road. Anyone want to guess who?**

**Peter**

Blood continued to drip from Jasper's nose, a steady crimson stream that overflowed my hand and splattered his shirt. I drug his unresisting form to the kitchen and leaned him over the sink. "Settle, Major, settle."

When we had first gotten the call that Jasper was ill, and needed us, Charlotte hadn't believed it. Not only had we never heard of such a thing happening before, but to Charlotte at least, Jasper was almost a mythical creature. He never showed weakness, never flinched away from a fight, never formed an emotional attachment that could interfere with his work. In other words, he was one scary motherfucker.

I knew better. True, Jasper was brave and strong, and he knew how to appear unaffected by things, but it was all a cover-up. Because of his gift, he was actually affected by things more than the rest of us were. The newborn's wild, unruly behavior, Maria's calculating anger, the natural tension that arose from having too many vampires crammed into too small of a space, he felt it all. Sometimes I think it's a small wonder that he didn't go completely mad.

He was whining now, a soft, unrelenting sound that only I could hear. With a quick prayer for forgiveness from Esme, I grabbed a dishtowel and held it to his face, putting pressure on both sides of his nose. "Settle, settle."

There was no reason for me to say it; Jasper was already calm. I was mostly trying to calm myself through the repetitive words. Even though I had had known that the Cullens were telling the truth, and Jasper did have something wrong with him, it was still frightening to see.

Especially since he had been just fine not even one minute ago. He had been racing Emmett on the Wii, a wild affair that involved lots of jostling and yelling in an attempt to distract each other. I had watched their hands, learning which buttons did what. I was just about to demand a turn when the smell of blood filled the air. Jasper cursed and put a hand to his mouth, drawing it away bloody. "Oh, shit."

The Major and I had worked side by side, nearly as equals, for years, maybe as long as a decade or two. During that time, we had developed a routine, and an ability to read each other's miniscule movements and thoughts. Right now, he was asking for help. I had drug him to his feet and into the kitchen where we were currently standing at the sink, the faucet running and taking the blood down the sink. It was easier to think without the bloodlust crowding my mind.

Alice and Charlotte broke into the room, both coming to the sink. Alice reached out and took the cloth from me. Even though she was his mate and had every right o be with him, I had to fight the urge to growl at her. For so long Jasper and I had had only each other, and old habits die hard, especially for vampires.

In the end, though, I surrendered him, patting his back one last time. I wouldn't leave him and we both knew it. Alice was speaking rapidly. "What happened? Did he get sick again?"

"No, his nose is bleeding."

"His nose? Are you sure?" She pulled the dishtowel off, which resulted in a fresh gush of blood. Why wasn't it stopping? "Jasper, can you tell me what happened?"

He shrugged, but didn't say anything. Really, what was there to say? He had been fine one minute, and bleeding (I didn't want to think the word hemorrhaging, but it was there in the back of my mind) the next. Was this the way that this thing had started, too? Or was Jasper just going to bleed out right in front of us?

Alice put the dishtowel back where it had been and met my eyes. "Get some ice out of the freezer, Peter. That should constrict his blood vessels."

Made sense on a human, but I didn't really see how it would work on a vampire. We're already cold as ice, so would it make any difference? But I understood the desire to do something, anything, to fix the situation. Plus, it might actually help; it wasn't like I had ever been in this situation before.

Emmett appeared in the doorway, looking worried. "Carlisle's on his way. Hang in there, dude, all right?" I noticed he didn't come any closer. The smell of blood must be getting to him.

"'Kay." It was the first Jasper had spoken, and the words were a bit muffled by the towel.

"Oh, God, Pete, look at his eyes." Charlotte's voice was a horrified whisper.

I did, and immediately wished that I hadn't. Jasper's eyes had gone from a sort of dark yellow-brown to an eerie green color. Even though I had been forewarned about the color change, it still stopped my breath, the air going still in my cold lungs.

It wasn't that he stopped looking like Jasper, because it wasn't true. If anything, he looked _more_ like Jasper Franklin Whitlock then he had any right to. The person he looked like right now had died over a century ago, and that man needed to stay dead. I wanted Jasper to look like he ought to, calm and in control with yellow eyes. Like Jasper Hale. Like the Major.

The strained silence was broken by Jasper coughing sharply and spitting some blood into the sink. He never actually gagged, which made things even more frightening. His nose was already bleeding, was he bleeding into his mouth and throat, too? If we couldn't get the bleeding under control, how could we help him?

Emmett made more phone calls, gathering the family home. It was a good move, one that I should have thought of. With Jasper out of commission, I should have automatically fallen into the role of second in command, even though this wasn't my home and there was no army.

With nothing else to do, I watched out the window, praying to a god that I didn't believe in that Carlisle would be home soon. The vampire made me uncomfortable as hell, but Jasper seemed to like him, so there must be something good about him. Plus, I couldn't deny that, as the only one here with any medical knowledge, it was best that he be present.

Jasper pulled backwards a little. "I think it's stopped."

Alice seemed a little nervous about taking the towel away, no doubt remembering what had happened the last time, but Jasper was squirming to get free, so she let her arm drop. His face was smeared with blood, but the bleeding did seem to have stopped. She put a hand on his back and gave him a quick push. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Things started happening very quickly then. Carlisle's Mercedes came roaring up the driveway, nearly rear-ending three other cars that were trying to figure out where to park. He finally just tossed it into park and ran towards the house at full speed. That told me that whoever was in those other cars were vampires, too, otherwise he would have moved more slowly. So these must be the Denalis I had heard so much about.

I took Charlotte's elbow and tugged, leaded her away from the main action. Jasper trusted and even somewhat enjoyed spending time with these vampires, but they were strangers to us. It was better to step back and observe them for a while before letting them know we were here. Not to mention that our red eyes might provoke some aggression if Carlisle or Jasper wasn't there to introduce us properly.

I didn't want to intrude on Jasper and Alice if they were doing something private, but I also didn't want to miss anything either. Jasper was my maker and commander, and I had some rights to know what was happening with him.

Unfortunately, nothing was. Jasper was sitting on the bed, his face cleaned of blood, both Carlisle and Alice standing over him. His eyes were still blue, but they didn't look as focused as they had before. In fact, he didn't seem to recognize me at all. Carlisle was talking to him, but he just kept looking around, like he didn't even know we were there.

"Jasper. Jasper. Jasper." It was a monotonous litany that quickly faded into the background. Jasper himself might as well have been on Mars for as responsive as he was.

I didn't want to be in the way, but I did want to let them know Char and I were there. "What can we do?"

Carlisle shook his head. "I don't know. This is how it keeps happening. He's fine one minute, then something happens, and his eyes change color and he gets like this. He doesn't seem to have a virus, he's not been poisoned, and he keeps getting worse. Have you ever heard of anything like this?"

There was nothing I wanted more then to be able to tell him exactly what was wrong with Jasper, and that everything would be fine in a few days or weeks. But I couldn't. Even when I ran through my perfect memory twice, I couldn't remember ever hearing about anything like this. "No."

He shone a light in Jasper's eyes, and I didn't have to be a doctor to know that something was abnormal about the way his pupils reacted. They were slow, taking a long time to shrink down, and not dilating again for several seconds. "Try talking to him, Peter. Even if he can't understand you right now, it might help to hear a familiar voice."

It made sense, but fear had closed my throat. All of my vampire life, Jasper had cared for me. He had changed me to this life, trained me through my newborn year, and kept me going for the decades that followed. Even all those years later, when I had gone back to Texas to get him, it seemed like a tiny thing compared to what he had done for me. As quiet and traumatized as he had been, he had still been Jasper, totally self-contained. This was a side of him I had never seen.

"Peter, talk!" Alice's glare was enough to snap me out of it.

"Hey, Jasper, it's me." My voice was a high pitched squeak, and I forced it down. "Um, can you talk to me?"

His head jerked in my direction, and his eyes roamed over mine without ever meeting them. I forced myself to calm, knowing that he could still pick up on my fear. "_Major, mira a me. Mira a me_."

Maria had primarily spoken to Jasper in Spanish, and he had spoken to us in a mixture of Spanish and English. Maybe hearing a familiar language would snap him out of it.

_Maria._

I hadn't seen her for decades, ever since Jasper had looked at me and told me to run and take Charlotte with me. When I had gone back for him, I had deliberately watched until she was gone, then taken him before she returned. It had taken only a little coaxing to get him to go, and we had vanished before she ever knew we had been there. To this day, I have no idea if she knows that Char and I were the ones who took him away.

Still, she was an old vampire, maybe even older than Carlisle. Furthermore, she had seen many things in her life, and knew things that no one else did. Bringing her up, especially in front of Alice, was risky, but it might be the only way to save Jasper. I caught Carlisle's eye. "Can we talk a little later? You know, once this crisis is over."

He nodded slightly, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. I continued to talk to Jasper, mixing languages until I could barely even understand myself. Made sense, since I had no idea what to say to him anyway. At any other time, he would have laughed at me and told me to be quiet until I could speak clearly, but now he just didn't seem to care.

I lightly touched his hand, running my fingers over the palm. There was a scar there, a perfect semicircle, courtesy of a newborn named Hank. I can't remember why Jasper had been foolish enough to hold a non-fisted hand near a newborn's mouth, but I did remember the cussing and yelling that followed the bite. He still didn't look at me, but his fingers closed reflexively around mine, a soft and tenuous link. "What now?"

"Nothing." Alice's voice was soft and world-weary. "We just wait for him to come out of it on his own."

"What if he doesn't?" It had never been my way to just accept things as they happened. I was a soldier, a doer, and I hated feeling helpless.

"He will." Carlisle's voice was very soft, but I heard the undercurrent that told me to be quiet. "Alice, please watch Jasper while I get Peter caught up with everything that's happened. I don't think Jasper wants to hear it all again."

The last part was obviously tacked on for Alice's benefit. I knew Jasper, and I knew that he_ would_ want to hear all of this again. He would want to hear it over and over until he was able to make sense of it all. I didn't say that though, because it seemed too cruel, and I had left my cruelty behind, somewhere in the dusty South. I cut my eyes at Charlotte, asking her to keep watch over Alice and Jasper. She nodded minutely.

Carlisle walked me to a little room that had been appointed as a home office. "It's soundproofed in here, so we can speak honestly with each other."

I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with not being able to call for help, but I again forced that feeling down. I just had to keep remembering that the Cullens were different, and Carlisle wouldn't cause me harm. "This is really bad. You think Jasper is going to come out of this, because he's come out of it before. But if he keeps getting worse and worse, eventually he won't come out of it at all."

He folded into a fancy desk chair which I was willing to bet cost more money than I saw in a year. I didn't know how much money these Cullens actually had, but I was sure it's an obscene amount. "I don't know, Peter. I called you here because Jasper wanted you, but do you have any ideas?"

I did, but I let him tell me everything again, starting with Jasper being picked up at school (seriously? They sent the God of War to _high school_? I didn't understand it at all), to what had happened just before Char and I arrived. I thought that the entire thing was quite possibly the strangest thing I had ever heard.

Then he told me about the wolves and I couldn't hold back any longer.

"What! God damn, Carlisle! When I went back to Maria's territory to try and get Jasper back, I was trying to protect him from all of this weirdness! It was just the three of us, being a family and hunting whenever we needed to. No armies, no territory wars, and no fucking werewolves! God, what is wrong with your family! You hunt animals, you get involved with humans, and now there are shape changers in the mix? You're cavorting with our food source _and_ the enemy."

My anger was out of proportion for what he was telling me and I knew it. Yes, the Cullens made some strange choices, but I was mostly irritated that Charlotte and I hadn't been enough for him, or even for him and his mate. She had taken him to this family, and their strange ways and, well . . . I missed my friend.

Luckily, Carlisle didn't turn on me for my rudeness. He just slumped down against the desk. "I assure you, it didn't start out like this. There were wolves fifty years ago, when we occupied Forks before. A boundary line was established, and we managed to coexist peacefully. Then, when it was time to leave, the wolves seemed to vanish. When we came back, there were none. Actually, I only found out yesterday that the teens seem to be changing."

I wasn't calm, not by a long shot, but I was good enough at faking it that only Jasper would have known the truth. "And the human?"

"Bella is . . ." He trailed off there, his yellow eyes looking into the distance. "Bella is unexpected. She's Edward's mate, I know she is. How can I deny him what he needs?"

Jasper had explained the situation to me several times, but I found it so astonishing that I had to keep asking. Never, in all of my more than a century on this planet, had I ever heard of mates finding each other before they were both vampires. If I could only see this Bella, I would know for sure, but I also knew that that would be difficult, if not impossible. "She's certainly a clever little minx, that's for sure. She figured it all out on her own, didn't she?"

He smiled. "She's a very determined and special girl. But back to Jasper. I don't know what to do to help him, Peter. Do you have any suggestions? Anything?"

I did, but he wasn't going to like it. "I think we should get in contact with Maria."

"No." His voice was steady, but brooked no argument. "I won't have him tortured again."

I tapped my fingers against my leg while I tried to figure out what to say to that. True, Maria's life had been hard on Jasper, and wrong for him, but she hadn't set out for it to be that way. There had been love between the two of them, not the love that either would have for a mate, but a gentle, friendly love that came from familiarity. He listened to her and accepted that she was the leader, but wasn't afraid to tell her when he thought she was wrong. If he was injured during a battle, she would nurse him back to health herself, hand-feeding him if she had to, trusting no one else with his care. It hadn't been a terrible relationship, just terrible circumstances. "She knows things."

"What sorts of things?" Carlisle knew that I was being coy, but he was drawn into the game nonetheless.

"All sorts of things. You have to understand, we're talking about a lone female vampire, in the 1800s and earlier, who managed to not only form one of the most feared armies of the American South, but did it all on her own. She was a presence to be respected and feared long before Jasper came along. She's seen shape shifters, extraordinarily gifted vampires, things that the rest of us can't even imagine. Maybe she's heard of something like this."

He ran his fingers through his hair again. "The last time Maria came for a visit, it didn't go too well." He flinched. "I don't know if the town of Forks can handle her coming."

That didn't surprise me. If Maria had a fault, it was a lack of self-control in the face of temptation. More newborns, more territory, more everything then we could really take care of. I'm sure she saw the visit as an opportunity to win the Major back to her side, as opposed to a social call. "At least let me get in contact with her. I won't tell her where you are if you don't want me to."

I could tell that he was still undecided, so I swallowed my pride and tried pleading with him. "Please, Carlisle. This might be Jasper's last chance, unless you want to try the Volturi, which I doubt any of us do." I didn't go as far as to say that I would contact her with or without his permission, but we both knew the intention was there. My loyalty ran with Jasper, not with the Cullen family.

"Do you know how to get in contact with her?" It wasn't a yes, but it was no longer a no, and I was going to run with this.

"Not exactly, but I do have resources that can get me in contact with her. I'll need notes about everything that's has happened with him, everything you've tried, and the effect that it's had." I thought it over, then made a quick judgment call. "I will not, however, tell her about the wolves. If their presence gets back to the Volturi, it could end very poorly for them."

I didn't really care that much for the wolves. They were filthy creatures and the enemy, despite what this family seemed to think. But vampires have perfect recall, and I had heard what he said about them turning. He hadn't said the elders of the tribe, or the adults, he had said it was the teenagers that were turning. Essentially, they were children.

Carlisle tightened his lips and looked into the distance, clearly rolling the options around in his mind. Finally, he nodded. "Do it. But for God's sake, don't let Alice find out. If it comes to Maria needing to come here, I will take it up with her personally."

That worked for me. Alice was tiny, but she could be quite a hurricane when she was angry. I was more than happy to surrender the duty of telling her about Maria to Carlisle. I nodded stiffly. "I'll need to borrow your phone, but I think I can call in enough favors that I can locate her fairly quickly."

He nodded. "You have full access to all of our resources. Whatever you need, please let me know. You can use the phone in here if you need privacy."

"Thank you. I'd like to get back to Jasper now, please." I knew I was being sort of rude, despite my 'please' and 'thank you,' but I couldn't help it. I was here for one reason only, and that was Jasper. It would be nice to bond a little with the Cullens, but it wasn't a necessity in my book.

Before I started making phone calls, I stopped back in to take another look at Jasper. Someone had either convinced him or, more likely, forced him to lie down on the bed, his back to the door. That meant things were still bad. If Jasper had had any of his reasoning intact, he would have never turned away from the doorway. Not without being sure who might come through it. I wanted to go to him, but he'd never liked being crowded, either, and the room wasn't very big. Entering would be comfort to myself, and myself only. I could do more for him if I just worked on my assignment and got him help from his maker. I couldn't leave without at least letting him know I had been back and was worried, so I paused in the doorway and called out. "I'll be back, Jasper."

I hadn't really expected him to respond, but it was still disappointing when I was greeted with nothing but silence. I guess I had a little of Charlottes belief in Jasper's invincibility after all.

There was nothing left to do but return to the study, which was thankfully empty. I had no idea where Carlisle might have gone, but I understood that he might not like to be around while I used his house to slum around the vampire underworld.

As I dialed the first number and listened to it ring, I sent a brief thanks up to the big guy for whoever invented cell phones. No, I didn't have a direct line to Maria, but I knew someone who knew someone who had a mate that might know a little something about what she was up to these days. Whether or not she would come to the aid of one who had deserted her decades ago was a good question, as vampires are not known for their forgiving natures, but I had a suspicion that she would at least tell me what she knew, even if she didn't want to see Jasper. Or if he didn't want to see her, though I didn't really think it would come to that. She was his maker and, whether the Cullens liked it or not, there was a bond between Jasper and Maria that couldn't be broken, just like the bond between him and I.

"Hello?" The voice was soft and feminine, but too fast to belong to any human.

"Hi, Ruthie, it's Peter." There was no need for me to give a last name, which was good, because I couldn't remember mine. On official documents, I sometimes used Whitlock, sometimes Teresa, sometimes something I made up entirely. Ruthie's vampire memory would allow her to place my voice as easily as if I hadn't given even a first name.

"Peter, how can I be of service to you? What did you do to Charlotte this time, and how much money is it going to take to fix it?" Her voice was bemused.

Just because I had had to call her once after I had accidentally torn one of Charlotte's favorite, and designer, dresses by acting like an idiot, and had required the help of no fewer than four vampires to get a replacement, as well as a nice piece of jewelry, to her by the next morning, it didn't necessarily mean that I would _always_ be in trouble, did it? "Actually, Charlotte's fine and so am I. I need some information from you, though."

"If I can. It's going to cost you, though."

Ruthie never did anything for free. She was a shrewd woman, and had survived this long without the aid of a coven by being like a shadow, spying here, gathering information there, or just being a silent presence in the right places. Her information was never wrong, and her prices always fair. "I'm looking for someone. A female vampire named Maria Teresa. She would be somewhere in the American South, probably leaning more towards the Southwest. She may or may not be dabbling in non-Voturi approved things."

Call me paranoid, but I didn't want to use the term 'building an army' out loud. The Volturi had a long reach, far longer than the federal government, and I didn't want to risk somehow being overheard.

She whistled. "For what do you seek her?"

In other words, was I going to kill her? It wasn't Ruthie's way to meddle in the affairs of those she was providing services for, but it would up the price. "I have with me a vampire she turned a long time ago. I believe she will be interested in his welfare."

"I can find her. The usual fee applies, plus whatever it takes to track her down. Can I reach you back at this number?"

"Yes." Then I thought again, and gave her my cell phone number, just in case. "Ruthie? This might be a matter of life and death. I'll pay whatever it takes, if you just please hurry."

I hung up the phone, but just stood there, my head hanging and my hand resting on the wall. I wanted to cry, but of course I couldn't. I wanted to scream, to punch a hole in the Cullens nice wall, but I didn't do that either. I had to hold myself together, because everyone else was falling apart.

"Why are you calling Maria?" The voice was unexpectedly close, and I whirled around with a snarl. Edward was leaning against the doorframe, his dark eyes serious. There was an underlying smugness in his tone that really raised my hackles.

"I don't recall needing to justify myself to you, child." The rest of the family might bow to him, but I wasn't about to.

"Does Carlisle know that you're using our home to conduct your business?"

He really had no idea when to give up, did he? "I don't know. Why don't you go tattle to him? Or better yet, why don't you go check on your brother—you know, the one who's so desperately ill?"

That scored a direct hit, and he flinched. I took advantage of that and marched by him my head held high. I wouldn't pick a fight here, but I wouldn't cower like a newborn, either.

There was nothing I wanted to do less than go back into that room upstairs, but I bit down on my fear. With a shuddery sigh, I forced myself to be calm and encouraging and started back up the stairs.

_You can do this, Peter._

I sure hoped so.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I promise I'm working on an update of Midnight Run as well. Unfortuntly, I'm suffering from a nasty case of Lymes, and even thinking about working on anything makes me roll over and go back to sleep. Rest assured, though, things are being thought about. Kind of.**

**Bella**

Jacob is a werewolf. _Jacob_ is a werewolf. Jacob is a _werewolf_. No matter how I tried the phrase out in my mind, it was as unbelievable as when Carlisle had first said it. Jake, the only person I had known when I first came to Forks, the son of my father's best friend. Sweet, loving, gentle Jake. Jake who is a werewolf.

None of the Cullens had paid too much attention to me after Carlisle's revelation. Jasper was the priority right now, something I totally understood. After all, I had just had a mental shock, while he was in actual physical danger. Plus, I really didn't want to talk to any of them, even Edward. I just needed a little alone so I could sort it out by myself.

Finally, I was getting my chance. I was banned from the Cullen house for the next few days, since Jasper had visitors there who still drank from humans. I was nearly insane with curiosity about them, especially after the things Jasper had told me about his past two days ago, but no, I was a stupid little girl who couldn't be trusted, even when I promised to never be alone with them.

Apparently, they were so dangerous that I couldn't even be left alone at _my_ house. I loved Edward with all of my heart, but there was a point when I just wanted some time alone. Luckily, he had agreed to go hunting, then check on Jasper before reporting back.

I couldn't imagine that Peter and Charlotte could be all that dangerous. After all, they were friends with Jasper, who was the most cautious vampire in the family. He was almost exaggeratedly gentle with me, as if he were more afraid of me then I could ever be of him. I was feeling strangely attached to him, maybe because he seemed so vulnerable right now.

Jacob was a werewolf. I suddenly remembered the story he had told me a few months ago. A story about the cold ones, who were supposedly the enemy of the Quileute tribe. The only thing that could destroy a cold one was a 'spirit wolf,' which I guess did sound much cooler than 'werewolf.' So vampires and werewolves are enemies. It would explain Jacob warning me about the Cullens, and why he hadn't wanted to hang out recently.

Another thought seared its way through my brain. If werewolves and vampires were natural enemies, I would be giving up Jacob to be with Edward. Even if it got to the point where I could be trusted around humans again, I wouldn't be able to see Jake.

_See what you're giving up, Bella? Your family, your friends, your entire life. Can you give that all up for love?_

Of course I could. Jasper had been right; this was my decision and mine alone, and I was choosing Edward and eternity with him. That didn't mean that I wasn't more than little glad that he was gone now, though.

_Do you really want to help Jasper? You can do it, you know. The Cullens aren't allowed on the Rez, Jacob told you that, but you are. You can go talk to them. Maybe they know something that can help_.

It was an exciting thought. I was really tired of being the weak link in the Cullen family, and, for once, I could do something that none of them could. Before I could lose my nerve, I called down the stairs. "Charlie? I'm going to go see Jacob, all right?"

He came to the bottom of the stairs. "He's been sick, Bella. I think Billy said he has mono."

Maybe it was mono, maybe it was a bad case of werewolfitis. "That's fine, I just won't share drinks with him. He'll probably be glad for the company."

This was one of the cool things about Charlie. Any other father would have forced me to stay home, complaining about the long drive and the possibility of germs. Charlie just trusted that I was capable of doing it for myself. "Say hi to Billy for me and call if you plan on staying for dinner."

"Thanks, Charlie. I, uh, I love you." I needed to say it more, since my opportunities to do so were steadily shrinking.

"Yeah, Bells, you too." His ears were bright red.

I rushed to my old truck, before I could lose my nerve and back down. Once I was off the curviest part of the road, I tried calling the Cullen house. Edward would probably be still out hunting, which meant I could ask Carlisle what I could do to help without him getting all upset. The line was busy, though, so I would just have to try later.

The Rez was quiet when I got there, which was unusual. Usually Jake and his friends hung around, roughhousing and joking. Today none of them were visible. Was it because they were busy doing other things, or because they were out in the woods, roaming around?

Billy seemed surprised, and not only a little bit uncomfortable, to see me at the door. "Bella, it's been a while. You should have called first, because Jake is sick. He has the flu."

He was lying. Not only had Charlie just told me that Jake had mono, not the flu, but the older man's eyes had cut down when he spoke. "Oh. Well, can I just see him for a minute? I won't wear him out, I promise."

"Bella, I'm sorry, but I can't let you up there. He's contagious, and I don't want you to catch what he has. How about I have him call you when he feels better?"

I hated to badger a man in a wheelchair, but I wasn't leaving without seeing Jake. I trained my eyes on Billy's, remembering what Rose had said about confidence. "Billy, Jake isn't sick and we both know it. I know what's really wrong with him, and I promise I won't tell anyone. I just . . . I really need to see my friend."

He first blanched, then took a deep breath. "How did you . . ." His face reddened.  
"It was those Cullens, wasn't it? Those damn animals are trying to turn you against us."

Apparently, the old prejudices weren't just on the side of the vampires. But now wasn't the right time to remind him that, whether or not I had found out the truth from the Cullens, I was still here and demanding to see my friend. "Billy, please. Is Jacob here or not?"

"Yes. He's upstairs asleep, though." Billy wheeled himself backwards. "I have to let the others know about this, you know. This secret has been closely guarded against outsiders since the beginning of our tribe." I was halfway up the stairs before he called me again. "Bella, take care with him. All teenagers are emotional, and this . . . _thing_ is making him even more so. Don't make him upset."

Angering a werewolf seemed to be a lot like angering a vampire, a comparison that I was pretty sure neither the Cullens nor the Quileutes would find flattering. "I'll be gentle."

Jake's door was closed, and he didn't respond when I knocked gently. He might have thought that that would keep me out, but I hadn't come this far to back down right in the doorway. I pushed the door open.

He was in there all right, but he was passed out asleep on the bed. He had kicked all of his blankets off, and I spent a moment just staring at how huge and ripped he had gotten. Forget a six-pack; he was sporting at least an eight-pack, and had become so tall that he had to curl up to keep his entire body on the bed. Was that because he was finally growing up, or was it a side effect of the werewolf . . . gene? Magic? Venom?

I leaned over and gently shook his shoulder. His skin burned beneath my fingers, and, for a minute, I wondered if he was sick after all. "Jake? Jacob, wake up."

His eyelids flickered open, staring at me vacantly before brightening. "Bella?" He sat up, rubbing at his face. "Hey, what are you doing here? Didn't Dad tell you I'm sick?" He looked happy to see me one minute, then angry, then heartbreakingly lonely.

"Are you really?" I sat next to him, aware of how huge his body seemed against mine.

His jaw worked in silence, reminding me of Jasper earlier. They both had something they wanted to say, but neither could get the words out. I wondered suddenly if one had anything to do with the other. Finally Jake heaved a deep sigh. "Yes. I'm sick."

He was lying, too. "I don't believe you."

Jacob put out a huge hand, taking my small one inside of it and pressing it to his forehead so I could feel the heat there. "103.6, Bella. I told you, I'm sick."

I decided that tact could be damned. "Really. And just what is it that makes you feel better? Does it have anything with turning into a wolf?"

"What!" Jake was spluttering and stammering, but he still tried to salvage the situation. "Bella, what in the world are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you being a werewolf. You are, aren't you? I'm also going to assume that at least some of the others are. Which ones? Sam? You were complaining about how distant he was. Seth? Jared? Quil? Billy? Will you tell me if I guess?"

His head dropped down into his hands. "I am so screwed. And no, if you guess anything, I won't be able to confirm or deny it. I can't."

Funnily enough, I believed him. After watching Jasper struggle, I knew what it looked like when you desperately wanted to say something, but couldn't force yourself to do it. "Who can tell me things? Can you nod or shake your head if I get it right?"

"No." Frustration burned in his eyes.

"Can your father tell me?" I wasn't going to give up.

"I don't know." He tossed his head to the side. "Let me make a phone call, okay?"

I nodded. "Do you want me to leave?" I was going to fight him on it, even if he said yes, but it was polite to ask.

"No, it's okay. If it's something you can't hear, I just won't be able to say it."

He rummaged around in the piles of stuff on the floor until he found a cell phone. He sat back down on the bed as he dialed, his muscles tense and shuddery under my hand. I patted gently, feeling the rock-hard muscles where there had been soft baby skin before.

The phone must have connected because he started speaking. "Sam? Yeah, we have a problem. Bella, you know Bella? Yeah, well, she knows about everything."

Tinny squawking came through the receiver, though I couldn't quite make out the words. "How do you think I told her? You said not to, and I have to obey you, oh mighty one." He was getting that sarcastic tone.

"No, she's still here. . . . Oh, yeah, that'll work fine. If she refuses, should I just throw her over my shoulder like a caveman and hold her prisoner? Hang on, I'll ask." He leaned into me. "Would you mind staying until Sam can get here? We can order a pizza or something."

A small surge of fear trilled in my stomach, but I could be brave. "Sure."

He muttered into the phone and hung up. "He'll be here in a few minutes. How . . . how did you find out?"

I started to tell him, but then remembered Billy telling me not to upset him. "Well, you're the one who told me about spirit wolves and the cold ones."

He didn't believe me, but he let it go. "Dad! Sam should be here in a few minutes to talk with us and I'm ordering pizzas. What do you want?"

Billy called up his order, and I gave mine. Jake called the nearest place and put in orders for four large pizzas. "Who else is coming?"

"Just Sam, why?"

"So, Sam, you, Billy, and I require four large pizzas? How much do you plan on eating?"

He shrugged. "Honestly, Sam and I will probably eat three of them. I've been kind of hungry lately."

I guessed I could see where changing into a wolf would burn a lot of calories. "Oh, so is Sam going to be driving over or . . ." I let my voice trail off, because I was pretty sure that he couldn't answer that. Still, I wanted to see what a werewolf looked like. Would they be bigger than a usual wolf? Like a wolf-human hybrid? Would they talk?

Jake looked at the ceiling. "Let me think about how to say this."

Whatever kept him from speaking, it must not infallible. He started to speak several times, then stopped. Finally he narrowed his eyes. "I believe that Sam's car isn't working right now, so he won't be driving."

"Oh. When is he coming, again?" I edged towards the window, hoping to see the wolf when it appeared.

"Any minute, and he'll be coming from the other direction." He was laughing a little at my enthusiasm. "He's not very happy."

Probably about as happy as Edward had been when I found out the truth about him. "Well, you know humans, we're nosy as hell."

Something clouded in his eyes. "I'm still human, Bella. I'm not like the Cullens." His voice was hard.

Belatedly, I remembered what Billy had said about not upsetting him. "Okay, fine. So, you know how _us_ humans are. Nosy."

It was a tiny little thing, but he relaxed. Then his head popped up. "He's here." Jake scrambled off the bed and out of the room.

He hadn't specifically told me to wait, and I was desperate to see the werewolf, so I followed him down the stairs. Much to my disappointment, all I got to see was a handsome Native American man in cutoff shorts. God, my life is weird when I'm disappointed to see a hot half-naked man just because he doesn't look like a wolf.

He nodded gently at me. "Hello, Bella."

I felt a little shy, so I looked down. "Hi. Sam, right?"

"Right." He looked past me at Jake, who squirmed uncomfortably. "Jacob, do you want to explain this? I thought I told you to tell everyone you were sick. You are free to speak and act freely."

"How should I know? My Dad told everyone that I was sick, but she just barged in here anyway. I didn't have to tell her anything; she already knew."

Sam turned to me. "Is this true, Bella?"

I had to defend Jake. "Yes. I knew before I came here tonight."

He stared for so long that I started to feel uncomfortable. "How did you find out?"

This was going to require some delicacy. I decided to go for the lie. "Well, Jake told me a story about the spirit wolves and the cold ones last year, and we all know that the cold ones are here, so I thought the wolves might be too."

It was a pretty good story, but Sam wasn't fooled for a second. Maybe he had gotten some of the animal instincts of the wolf, because he was shaking his head. "No, someone said something recently. Tonight. I know it wasn't Jacob, because I ordered him not to speak to you about this."

"You can do that? Just order someone not to talk and he has to listen?" Something nagged at the back of my mind, but I couldn't quite figure it out.

"Bella, we can talk about that later. Who told you about us?"

There was no getting around it. "Carlisle Cullen."

His eyes blazed and his muscles started to tremble. "I knew it! Those goddamn leeches caused this, and now they're letting everyone know what's happening."

Jacob pulled me backwards, putting his body between Sam and I. "Sam, stop. Let's hear her out." He was tense, no doubt ready to defend me if he had to.

Sam took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "Talk, child."

He didn't seem happy, but he didn't seem like he was going to rip my head off either, so I took courage. "Uh, well, you know about the Cullens, right?"

"Yes." He didn't offer any more information.

"Jasper's sick. I mean really, really, sick. None of them will say anything, but I think he might be dying."

Both Sam and Jake snorted, like they couldn't care less whether Jasper died or not. Really, though, they probably didn't. To them, he was nothing more than an animal, and like any dangerous animal, he needed to be put down as quickly as possible.

To his credit, Jake did try to seem at least a little interested. "Which one's Jasper? The big one?"

"No, that's Emmett. Jasper's the blond. Tall, kind of curly hair. He doesn't talk very much."

Sam nodded. "I know who he is. He walks the boundary line all the time. Doesn't cross it, just paces it, like he's standing sentry or something. He knows that we're here, but he doesn't know what we are. At least he didn't until the doctor opened his big bloodsucking mouth."

Honestly, I wasn't too sure if Jasper knew now. He went in and out of wakefulness, and even when he was awake, he wasn't very coherent. Twice he had referred to me as "Kathy." Before I could say anything, though, Sam was speaking again. "It's very sad that the little vampire is sick, but what does that have to do with us?"

Suddenly, I wasn't sure what it did have to do with them. Carlisle had cut himself off before he revealed anything important, and I didn't even know what Jasper had said that got him all upset in the first place. "I don't know. All I know is that it has something to do with you guys. I thought that maybe . . ." I lowered my head and turned red, knowing how this was going to sound. "I thought that maybe you guys did something to him."

"If such a thing were possible, I wouldn't hesitate to harm one of them. But we're bound by the treaty our elders made, same as the Cullens. The minute one of them so much as licks at a human's paper cut, though, they'll be going straight to hell." I wouldn't exactly describe Sam's tone as gleeful, but it was pretty damn close.

I couldn't afford to get angry now, thought. I was the only one who stood even the tiniest chance of opening a line of communication between the two sides. The Quileutes were as caught up in this as the Cullens were, even if they didn't know it yet, and it was going to take them working together for Jasper to have any chance at all of surviving.

_Honestly, Bella, what did I just tell you a few days ago? You act like a sheep, they'll act like wolves. Literally, this time. Be brave and get them to understand. Please Bella, he's my twin brother._ Rosalie's voice was so clear in my mind that she might as well have been standing right next to me.

I squared my shoulders and glared into Sam's black eyes. "I'm taking out my cell phone and calling Carlisle. You will talk to him, and you will be polite, because you guys and the Cullens? No matter how much you hate each other, you're in this one together. It's Jasper right now, but it might be Jacob next. Or Quil. Or Embry." Carlisle had asked me directly about the two of them, so it was safe to assume that they, too, were werewolves.

From the look on his face, I knew I had hit him where it hurt. He gave Jake an evil look, causing my friend to raise his hands defensively. "Dude, don't look at me. I haven't told her anything. I couldn't, remember?"

Without giving them any time to think up a good objection, I whipped out my cell and tried the Cullen house again. This time it rang through, and an unfamiliar voice answered. "Cullen residence, Peter speaking."

"Hi, Peter, this is Bella. Can you put Carlisle on the line, please?"

He whistled at me. "Sure thing, but Bella, are you all right? Everyone here is in a panic because they can't find you."

What he meant was that _Edward_ was in a panic. The rest of the Cullens tended to give me a little more freedom. "If he had bothered to ask Charlie or check his text messages, he would know that I'm at the Rez with Jacob. Now, I need Carlisle."

"Sure thing." I heard him calling for Carlisle, before his voice came back on the line. "Charlie told us where you were, but Alice can't see you, and you weren't answering your phone. We got worried. Oh, here he is."

Carlisle sounded worried when he answered the phone. "Bella, are you all right? Edward went to your house and you weren't there. Charlie said you had gone to see Jacob Black, but when Alice checked to see when you would be home, she couldn't see you at all."

That was weird. "No, I'm fine. I've been here with Jake, and now Sam is here, too. He would like to talk to you, about Jasper, so please be polite." I pushed the phone into Sam's waiting hand before Carlisle could refuse or ask any more questions.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen." Sam managed to get the title out without sarcasm, though I could tell that it was painful for him. "Bella tells me that you might have an issue with a member of your . . . should I say 'family'? She says that it may relate to us."

He listened for a few minutes, nodding several times. "That's very interesting. I've not heard of such a thing, but I can speak with the tribal elders and see what they may know. I'll need a detailed description of what has happened."

Both Jake and I had hunched into ourselves on the bed, hoping that he would forget we were there. No such luck, because he gestured first at Jake, then me. "You two make yourselves scarce. The doctor and I have things to talk about."

Jake started to protest, but Sam silenced him with a single look. Reluctantly, he rose. "Come on, Bella."

"But—"

He pulled me forward. "You can stay if you want to fight with Sam, but I can't."

He sounded pissed about it, but he didn't question Sam again. As much as I wanted to stay and argue my case, I was more curious about what was happening. "Okay."

We went downstairs, where Billy gave us an interested look. "So, do you want to tell me why Sam came running in here so fast that he left paw prints all over the porch?"

"Sick vampire, Cullens know about the shifting, now Doctor Fang and Sam are talking on the phone. I don't know what else because I got the order to leave the room. The world just got a thousand times weirder."

Billy raised his eyebrows. "Really. Wonders never cease."

"Can we sit out on the porch?" I wanted to see those paw prints for myself.

Jake chuckled, leading me to believe he already knew what I was thinking. "Sure."

Sure enough, the porch was covered with prints, each larger then my entire hand. I laid my hand down next to one, marveling at its size. "Wow."

Jacob laughed. "You know what they say about guys with big feet. . . ."

"You are truly disgusting."

He laughed again and sat down on the porch swing. "You know it turns you on."

"Sure, whatever." I tried to laugh it off, even though I was starting to get a little bit uncomfortable. I knew that he had a little bit of a crush on me, but I loved Edward. I loved Jacob, too, but in a different way. He was more like . . . well, more like a puppy. The thought of having any sort of serious relationship with him was just too weird. I didn't say that, though. There would be plenty of time to break his heart later.

"You were really great in there, Bells. I mean, it was awesome the way you stood up to Sam."

That was the perfect opportunity to ask something that had been troubling me. "You can't do that, can you? I mean, he tells you to do something and you have to do it, right?"

He leaned against me, the heat from his body a welcome change from the chilly air. "Pretty much. Sam's the alpha wolf of the pack. The rest of us are under him, and we have to obey his commands. That's why I couldn't tell you the truth about what was happening. He wouldn't let me."

"What would happen if you didn't listen to him? If you had said, 'Screw you, I'm telling Bella anyway'?"

"It doesn't work like that. If he says not to do something, I physically cannot do it. If I tried, I wouldn't be able to get the words out. There is no disobeying the alpha, period."

We fell into a silence as we sat there on the swing, the only noise the creak of its chain. Finally Jake sighed. "It sucks sometimes. I mean, just a few weeks ago I was a normal guy, and now I'm up to my ass in vampires and werewolves and all of that shit."

"Yeah, I kind of know what that's like." It hadn't been that long ago that I hadn't believed in vampires and werewolves either.

He gave me a saucy smile. "So, do you want to see me?"

My breath caught. "I didn't think you could. Didn't Sam say no?"

Another smile. "He did. But when he came up the bedroom, he told me that I could do whatever I wanted. He just forgot to reverse the order. So?"

"Yes." The only other time I had been so excited was the first time I saw Edward sparkle in the sun. "I want to see it."

He stood up, the cold air quickly replacing his overheated body. "All right, stay there. I can't afford to ruin any more clothes, and I don't want to be responsible for your actions if you catch sight of me naked."

He and Emmett would get along great, considering that they both had enormous egos. I whistled at him, and he laughed again, picking up his pace until he vanished into the trees.

Less than ten seconds later, the biggest wolf I had ever seen ambled out. He was at least the size of a horse, with huge paws and long legs. I couldn't quite keep the squeak out of my voice. "Jake."

The lips pulled back from wicked-looking teeth in an expression that looked too much like a smile to be interpreted as anything else. When he walked up to me, his shoulders were nearly as tall as my own. His fur glowed a rich reddish-brown in the porch light and I couldn't resist putting my arms around his neck. He still smelled like Jake, but with a little undertone of something wild. He bounced up on his hind legs and swiped his tongue across my face. "Eww!"

He blew out a puff of air that could almost be mistaken for a laugh. Jacob was Jacob, no matter what body he was currently occupying. His eyes met mine and I could read the worry in them. I pressed a kiss to his nose. "You are awesome."

Another toothy grin and he lay down on a step, his huge body taking up the entire thing. I sat one step below him and leaned against his chest. The long tail thumped once, then twice, and his chin came to rest on my shoulder.

I had almost forgotten what it was like to be with Jake. I never had to worry about not being good enough for him, or that I was just a liability to him. We were just Jake and Bella, two friends. Well, Bella the human and Jake the gigantic wolf.

The door opened and Sam stalked out, a furious expression on his face. "Jacob, knock it off! Phase back and get the others together. I have to take Bella back home, then we'll meet down on the beach. Those damn leeches have gotten themselves into a huge mess, and they've dragged us into it, too. Bella, come with me."

I pressed back against Jacob, suddenly afraid of the anger that seethed out of Sam's every pore. "Can't Jacob take me home?"

"No. I have to take you to the Cullen house, and I don't want him anywhere near them. Not to mention that Jake doesn't have a driver's license, so unless you plan on riding him like a horse, you two aren't going to get very far."

There wasn't much I could say to that, especially since Jake had already vanished back into the woods. I squashed my fear down and nodded at Sam. "Did you and Carlisle figure something out?"

"_Dr. Cullen_ and I had a very interesting discussion which I can't talk about just yet. I didn't reject his requests out of hand." His voice told me that he was not going to discuss it any further.

"Okay." My voice was extremely meek.

He softened. "Bella, nobody is angry with _you_. The entire situation is strange, and I have an entire pack to protect. If protecting them means teaming up with a bunch of bloodsuckers, then so be it, but I don't have to be happy about it."

"They aren't that bad." Except for maybe Rosalie, but she had been nicer to me the past few days, too. "I can be there when you guys meet them, if that would make you feel better."

His eyes narrowed. "That may not be a bad idea, but nothing is set in stone yet. Having a neutral party may help."

_See, Bella, you can do this_. I gave him a tentative smile, which he softly returned.

"All right, I'll take you to the Cullens' house."

"Thank you, Sam."


	11. Chapter 11

**Carlisle**

Everything was falling apart. Jasper needed me, Edward needed me, Bella needed me, and I couldn't tend to all three of them at once. Right at the moment, I couldn't seem to help any of them. I was holding Jasper in restraint, because he had flipped out the minute Edward came storming into the house. He struggled against me, slamming his head into my chest as hard as he could in a desperate attempt to break loose.

Bella was missing. Edward swore that he had only left her for a brief hunt, but when he got back, she was gone. He had swallowed his pride and knocked on the door, only to have Charlie tell him that Bella had gone to visit her friend Jacob. Except Alice could no longer see her future, and Bella wasn't answering her phone.

"Carlisle, we have to look for her! What if she's been kidnapped?" Edward was frantically trying to get my attention. "Carlisle, what are we going to do?"

Jasper reacted to the tightly coiled tension that Edward was giving off by snarling and snapping at me. He didn't get my skin, but he did tear one of my sleeves. "Easy, Jasper. Edward, you're upsetting your brother. If you can't calm down, you need to go outside."

"But Bella—"

"Is not here right now. Jasper is, and, right now, his health is my priority. Take the rest of the family to look for her if you have to. I'll keep Alice, Peter, and Charlotte to help me."

His eyes narrowed, and Jasper started to struggle harder. One of the downsides of his gift was that it was only partially under his conscious control. He couldn't stop reading the emotions of others, but he usually didn't react to them this strongly. All of his carefully built mental walls had come down, and he was as vulnerable to emotional shifts as he must have been as a newborn. I tried to push calm at him, but the gentle emotion didn't seem to be enough to override Edward's anger and fear.

Edward nodded tersely, and ran from the room. As soon as she was gone, Jasper relaxed slightly. He was still shaking and unresponsive, but the aura of desperation was no longer surrounding him. He had been like this for almost fourteen hours, and showed no signs of coming out of it. Peter had been right; he was getting worse quickly. The longer he remained like this, the more likely it was that he would never recover.

I sensed a presence, and looked up to see Peter standing in the doorway. He didn't speak to either Jasper or me, just stood there and watched us with inscrutable crimson eyes. Though his face was expressionless, I couldn't help but feel that he was judging me and my inability to fix Jasper, or even offer him comfort.

"Suggestions, Peter?" I couldn't quite keep the irritation out of my voice.

He shook his head slowly, once to the left, once to the right, exactly like Jasper did. I wanted to be soothing and calm and the perfect leader, but I was just out of patience with all of this. "Do you think you can do a better job with him?"

"No."

An out-of-place fury rose in my chest, and I was opening my mouth to say something so rude that he would never forget it when we were both interrupted by a shrill ringing noise. Jasper jumped in my arms and nearly tore free in a panicky attempt to escape the pain it must have been causing his oversensitive ears. "Get that, please."

Normally, I would have answered myself, especially since it might be Bella, but I just couldn't stand Peter's staring at me for one more minute. He nodded briefly and vanished from the room, his footsteps growing fainter as he went down the stairs to the living room.

Unlike when Edward had left the room, Peter's leaving didn't do anything to calm Jasper down. Instead he got more agitated, his empty eyes swinging from one end of the room to the other as if looking for his brother. "He'll be back, I promise."

Whether he understood my words or not (and I unfortunately believed that he couldn't), he could still hear, and hopefully recognize, my voice. This was particularly important right now, because I was nearly positive that he had lost his sight. He didn't pull away when I put a fingertip within millimeters of his eye, and his pupils were non-reactive to light. I hoped that his vision would return when he pulled out of this, but I was terrified that it wouldn't. I knew that Jasper could adapt to blindness if he had to, but I hated the thought of him, or any of my children, having to suffer for even a second.

"It's Bella." Jasper had that far-off tone of someone talking in a dream. "On the phone, I mean. She is on the Rez, no matter what Alice said. She's okay, and she has someone who is going to talk to you."

I rested the backs of my fingers on his cheek, trying to forge even a small connection with him. "I very much doubt that there is anyone on the Rez who wants to speak to me."

"I didn't say he wanted to. But he will. We need those dogs right now; they're the key to everything."

"All right." I didn't want him to get upset again. "If it's actually Bella on the phone, and one of the Quileutes actually wants to talk to me, I will be glad to hear them out."

"Good." He coughed a few times and turned his head back to the door. "Where did Peter go?"

Maybe he was more coherent then I thought. "He's answering the phone."

"Oh." He struggled in my grip. "You're squeezing me too tightly."

I loosened my grip and he picked a new position on the bed. I could hear the soft murmurs of Peter talking to someone from downstairs, but couldn't quite make out the words. If I strained my ears, I could also hear Charlotte's voice upstairs, and Alice's soft sobs. I was failing all of them, and the worst part was, I had no idea how to fix things.

"Carlisle?" Peter had returned. "Bella is on the phone, and she says she wants to talk to you."

Again, Jasper had been right. However he was predicting the future, he was even more accurate then Alice. "Peter, stay with Jasper."

The phone was sitting on the table, and I took a deep breath before picking it up. "Bella, are you all right?" _Please, please let her say yes. I couldn't stand to have another member of this family injured on my watch. _"Edward went to your house and you weren't there. Charlie said you had gone to see Jacob Black, but when Alice checked to see when you would be home, she couldn't see you at all."

She sounded totally puzzled when she answered. "No, I'm fine. I've been here with Jake, and now Sam is here, too. He would like to talk to you, about Jasper, so please be polite."

What could this Sam possibly know about Jasper? But my son's words from just a few minutes ago were still echoing around in my head. _The dogs are the key to everything._

There was a moment of static on the phone, during which I heard Bella admonish Sam to be nice to me, and an unfamiliar voice came over the line. "Hello, Dr. Cullen. Bella tells me that you might have an issue with a member of your . . . should I say 'family'? She says that it may relate to us."

I wasn't sure what to say to this man. Jasper was the one who thought the Quileutes might be involved, but he hadn't said why he thought that. "I'm going to assume that Bella told you one of my family has become extremely ill?" At his soft grunt of assent, I kept going. "He's been having these . . . I don't know what to call them. He becomes unresponsive to us, but he begins to talk about what's happening on the reservation. It's almost as though he's repeating conversations that he couldn't have possibly heard in the first place. He brings up names, and times, and things that sound so eerily realistic."

Thinking back, I filled him in on the conversation that Jasper had repeated about Bella, and Jacob feeling that she was in danger from us.

Sam didn't say anything while I talked, but his breathing became harder, and his heartbeat sped up until I could hear it through the phone. Clearly, he remembered this conversation, also. The last bit of hope that Jasper really had been delirious shriveled and died in my chest. Like it or not, I had just involved our mortal enemies. I finished lamely, "So, I don't know what's out there, and making Jasper act this way, and I don't want your pack to be in danger any more than I do my family, but I do want you to be aware of what's happening. Please, Sam, from a leader to a leader, I don't know how to help him. If you know anything that might help . . ."

He breathed out softly, the sound like a hurricane to my sensitive ears. "That's very interesting. I've not heard of such a thing, but I can speak with the tribal elders and see what they may know. I'll need a detailed description of what has happened."

He hadn't refused me outright, which was what I had feared happening. As quickly and accurately as I could, I went over the entire saga with him, starting with a minor fever, but quickly progressing to what had happened today. I went over and over the fact that Jasper had known about the wolves on the reservation on the very first day, but hadn't started with the actual conversations until day three. Sam listened, sometimes snorting in disbelief, but mostly just listening. At one point, he told Bella and Jacob to leave the room.

When I had finished, we both fell into a nervous quiet. The tension which was always present between vampires and werewolves was back, and stronger than ever. I hated the thought of lowering myself to begging a wolf for help, but if that was what it took, I would.

Before I could open my mouth, though, Sam was speaking again. "I'll call a meeting later tonight, and we'll determine what is to be done about this situation. I'll bring Bella back to your house within the half hour, and call you when we have come to a consensus."

"Thank you, Sam." His voice had a gentle undertone to it, which made me hope that he would speak out in our favor.

He grunted again, then softly repeated himself. "Bella will be there soon."

He hung up abruptly, leaving me with nothing but a dial tone. I replaced the phone in its cradle, then made the slow trek back upstairs, my heart heavy. I didn't want to go back into that room. Didn't want to see Jasper suffer and not be able to help him, didn't know what to say to Peter, didn't have the strength to keep going.

To my surprise, I could hear two voices inside. One was Peter's, and the other was the one I kept fearing I might never hear again. Jasper. "No, it didn't happen that way."

Peter was insistent. "Of course it did. _You _were the one who said, 'Oh, no, Peter, it's going to be easy. There are only twelve of them and almost thirty of us. We can almost double the amount of territory we won tonight.'"

"I don't recall that." I could almost see Jasper's eyebrow quirking up, the way it always did when he told a lie.

"Well, I do. Three freaking hours of fighting, and how many lost limbs?"

"Nine. But, to be fair, how was I supposed to know that they had that redhead? I've never seen a talent like hers."

Rosalie came barreling up the stairs, her eyes glowing with joy. She leaned against me and whispered, "Is that Jasper? Is he talking?"

Without even waiting for a reply, she busted into the room. "Jasper? How are you feeling, baby?"

I followed at a much slower pace. Jasper was sitting up and laughing as Rose tossed her arms around his neck. He looked like he was back with us, though his eyes remained blue. However, they were alert and met mine without hesitation.

Rose gave her brother a quick kiss on the cheek and settled so she was sitting next to him. "So, what happened with the fight?"

"Yeah, Major, why don't you tell her what happened?" Peter was smirking playfully.

Jasper shot him an evil look. "Well, this coven was very, very tiny, just twelve, but they were hanging on to a fairly large territory. That should have been enough to give me pause, but my army was still all hyped up from a recent win, and it seemed like an easy victory."

He shifted uncomfortably, wincing a little as his sore muscles pulled. That was new. Always before, he had shown no lingering effects from his descents into illness. Peter noticed and propped him up with another pillow. "Thanks, Pete."

"So, you found this tiny little coven that you were going to push out, but you ended up getting your asses kicked instead?"

"No!" Jasper and Peter spoke simultaneously. Jasper continued, "No, we never lost a fight. The thing was, they had this newborn whose name I never caught. Pretty little thing, not much bigger than Alice. She had this talent, though, and she sure knew how to use it. As soon as my army was within range, she released these waves of power that knocked us all down. Then, while we were still trying to figure out what had happened to us, the rest of her coven attacked. I lost an arm, right here." He pulled up his right sleeve and gestured to a ragged scar that encircled his forearm. As always, it was difficult for me not to flinch when I saw the amount of scarring on his body. Jasper didn't tend to pity himself for his circumstances, and I shouldn't pity him, either.

"I managed to pull my army back together, and we decimated them. The redhead disappeared on us; I don't know what happened to her. Some of the other coven was destroyed, some of it was absorbed into our army, and we took the territory as our own. The end."

"Tell them the rest of it." Peter looked like he was trying to hold in the giggles.

Jasper narrowed his eyes, shooting Peter his patented look of death. It never failed to back his brothers and sisters down, but Peter was less than impressed. "So, six other vampires lost arms that night. We spent two hours finding all of those limbs in the chaos, and I guess there was a mix up with all the dirt and stuff. I got my arm put back on, but I was having trouble using it, even after a few days. Then it turned out that one of my newborns, Carlos, was having trouble using his right arm. Turns out _someone_"—here he gave Peter a meaningful look—"had two right forearms and stuck my arm on Carlos and his arm on me. Maria had to take both arms back off when we got home and put them on the right body."

That was absolutely fascinating. While I was quite aware of the ability of the vampire body to reattach limbs, and even heads, if necessary, I had no idea that a vampire's body would accept limbs that didn't actually belong to it. As well as I understood the human body, that of a vampire was apparently still a mystery to me.

Rose was giggling. "It took you days to realize that you were walking around with someone else's arm? How could you not notice?"

"I told him that it couldn't be his arm after the first day, because the fingernails were too clean, but he told me to be quiet." Peter chuckled softly to himself. Jasper narrowed his eyes and delicately upraised his middle finger. Normally, I would have called him on his rude behavior, but I was so glad to see him acting like Jasper again, I would have put up with almost anything.

"Where is everyone?" Jasper looked around in confusion. "I hear Alice and Charlotte upstairs, but not anyone else. I'm going to assume that Edward is off stalking Bella, but where're Emmett and Esme?"

The mention of Edward and Bella caused a connection in my brain. "Oh, no. Edward, Emmett and Esme are out looking for Bella!"

"Why?" Jasper and Peter spoke simultaneously.

"Because he refuses to admit that she made it through sixteen years without him hovering over her shoulder and will easily make it another sixteen," Rosalie said disdainfully. "He thought something had happened to her. I told him that she was fine, but he insisted on going all Lone Ranger and following her to the boundary line. He dragged Emmett and Esme along, but I certainly wasn't going to allow him to treat her like a lost possession." Rosalie's dark tone made it very clear how she felt about the situation.

"Rose." I didn't raise my voice, but there was no mistaking the warning in my tone. No matter how much time she spent with us, living in a loving, supportive environment, her past would always be with her, making it hard for her to trust people, especially men.

_Just like Jasper_.

The difference between my twins was that I felt like Jasper tried to be part of the family, to the best of his ability, while Rose needed to keep herself walled off. There could have been a million reasons why that would be so, from inborn differences in their personalities, to Jasper being able to use his gift to determine our good intentions were true, but it didn't really matter. Jasper was Jasper and Rosalie was Rosalie and I loved both of them fiercely for just being themselves.

As I dialed Edward's cell phone, I heard the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway. "Rose, please go see who that is."

She shot me an evil look, but stood up anyway. I took her place on the bed, making Jasper sigh heavily. "Yeah, I know." He opened his mouth docilely, already anticipating the thermometer.

I put it in his mouth, even though I could already feel that the fever was gone. "Are you feeling better?"

He nodded. Peter was hanging over his shoulder, watching the numbers climb. The pair of them rested cheek to cheek, looking exactly like brothers. I watched them out of the corner of my eye, reflecting on how little I actually knew about true vampires, and the sort of bonds that can spring up between them. I had never had a vampire friend, not the way Jasper had Peter.

I love my family, truly, but Jasper is the second oldest vampire in it, and he is still more than two centuries my junior. He shows me an automatic deference, both due to my age and my position in the family. The next oldest is Edward, who is barely over 100. With the exception of Esme, they truly are children to me, and they behave accordingly. My family is everything to me, but watching Jasper and Peter, I couldn't help but remember my time with the Volturi. They had, in a way, been the closest thing I had known to a normal coven, and the closest thing I had ever had to friends. In some ways, I missed them, even Aro, who didn't tend to have more than one foot in reality at a time.

Suddenly, Jasper's nose wrinkled. "What is that smell? Peter, have you been hunting stray dogs again?"

"One time, and that dog was the size of a fucking moose! And it's your fault, anyway, since you won't let me eat any humans." Peter was laughing, and I made a mental note to get the rest of this story out of one of them before this was over.

"Well _something_ smells like dog." Now that Jasper had brought it up, I could smell it, too. Something musty and wild, far more so than our usual sweet scent.

The car door slammed, and I immediately smelled Bella. Well, Bella plus what seemed to be an entire animal shelter's worth of dog. Sam must have brought her home safe. Thank God. It wasn't that I distrusted the man on a personal level, but instinctively, I couldn't help but feel that he was dangerous. My body relaxed. "I think Bella's home."

"So, are you going to introduce us to your friends, including Ms. Bella?" Peter looked up at me, his eyes dark and curious. He would need to hunt soon.

"My friends?" I was so focused on Jasper that I didn't catch his meaning.

"You know, the other coven that showed up yesterday? Two guys and a couple of smoking hot chicks? Char and I have been kind of making ourselves scarce, waiting for the formal introduction, but they know we're here, and it's making all of us kind of uncomfortable."

Jasper muttered something unintelligible around the thermometer. I pulled it out, noting with pleasure that he was no warmer than room temperature. "What was that, son?"

"I told Peter to watch his back around those girls, especially Tanya. The whole lot of them are maneaters, except for Carmen, and I guess Irina now. Tanya actually pretended to be lost in the last house we had, just so she could stumble into the bathroom while I was taking a shower. Then she must have gotten disoriented, because apparently she thought the way out was through the shower door." He rolled his eyes. "Alice was pissed."

"He screamed like a little girl." Rose was back, this time with Bella. "We all thought he was being killed in there, so we rushed in to help him. Oh, Bella, I've seen things that only Alice should have to."

Peter broke into hysterical laughter, causing Jasper to give him a thump and mess with the results of the reflex test I was attempting to administer. "Jasper, hold still. Rose, please leave your brother alone."

Jasper seemed to be fine, but I wasn't unaware that, despite the fact that he was getting better each time, he was staying better for shorter and shorter periods. This was the first time he had lost his vision, and even now his reflexes were slow, not quite what they should be. I resolved to keep a closer eye on him, and test him more frequently. His declines were more frequent, and steeper when they happened.

But first I had a responsibility to Peter and Charlotte, one I had been neglecting. Of course I should have introduced them to the Denali coven the minute they had arrived, but I had forgotten in all the chaos. Like Jasper, they would never dream of pointing out this oversight, though. They knew not to draw unnecessary attention to themselves.

"Rosalie, please stay with Jasper. I'm going to get Peter and Charlotte introduced to the Denalis." I could do nothing for Jasper right now, but at least I could make my guests more comfortable.

Just then, we heard Bella's footsteps on the staircase. A minute later, she was peering around the door frame. Her eyes widened when she saw Peter.

Peter bowed delicately to Bella. "I'm Peter, Jasper's brother. It's a pleasure to meet the lady who managed to escape his watch. Dozens, if not hundreds of vampires have tried the same without success. Perhaps later you can tell me the story?"

Like all vampires, he was capable of being extremely charming, and I could tell that Bella was falling under his spell. She flushed, and gave him a stuttery smile. "You're dazzling me."

"I'm dazzling you? How so?" Peter was still smiling at her, his eyes nearly glowing with amusement.

"It's just something you vampires do. You make yourselves all charming and perfect and beautiful and then I find myself doing things that I shouldn't, like agreeing to meet a human-drinking vampire alone." She seemed so nervous that I felt Jasper nudge her with a little bit of calm. It was a weak nudge, probably due to his debilitated condition, but a nudge nonetheless.

Peter chuckled. "Dazzling. I like that name for it. I've heard that Edward claims you have no self-preservation instincts, but I would say you have pretty good ones. Of course you don't have to meet with me alone. We could talk right in the living room, or here. It's been a long time since I could speak honestly to a human, especially one as lovely as you."

"Pete, leave her alone. She isn't quite used to your sense of humor." Jasper's voice had a light warning in it, even though I was pretty sure that he wanted to smile.

"All right, I was just being polite." Peter gave Bella another bow and stepped away.

She might know what dazzling was, but she wasn't immune to its effects. "I'll tell you the story later, okay?"

"Call for me anytime, beautiful, and I'll be there. It's not often that someone gets the better of Major here." He gave Jasper a quick fist bump. "Now, I believe there are some hot girls for me to meet." He stood and strutted out of the room, the very image of a rooster in the barnyard.

Bella looked over at Jasper. "Is he always like that?"

"Yep. Been like that since the day I turned him." The accent came out a little thicker, the way it always did when he was worn out. He laid his head back on the pillow, staring vacantly out the window.

My heart sank. Jasper was not only at the end of his rope, he was dangling from it by his fingernails. He was fighting as hard as he could, but he was nearly at the end of his strength. _Please hang on, Jasper. Sam is trying to get you some help. Hang on just a little bit longer._

He looked over at me, reading my worry if not my mind, and gave me a weak nod. Jasper was nothing if not tough, and he would remain with us for as long as he possibly could.

_That won't be forever. If you don't figure something out soon, he's going to die, for real this time. And when he goes, it will only be matter of time before Alice does also. So unless you can figure something out soon, your family is going to get a lot smaller._

The phone rang again, and we all turned towards it hopefully. Maybe it was Sam, even though logic told me that it was too soon. Rose leapt up and grabbed it, her eager face turning to confusion. "Peter, it's for you."

Everyone's eyes fixed on Peter, who rose silently and picked up the phone. "Hello? . . . That was quick. . . . No, of course I'm pleased. . . . 582-777-4312? . . . Thank you, Ruthie. You'll have payment by next week. . . . I always recommend you."

He hung up and turned back to us. "I have a number for someone who knows Maria."

Rose growled, a low and eerie sound. Jasper blinked several times in rapid succession, which told me he was disturbed, but he had no other reaction, which wasn't unusual when Maria came up in conversation. He rarely mentioned her, and the rest of the family kept quiet out of respect for his privacy.

"Call them." I kept one eye on Jasper, trying to read his reactions. He was a study in blankness, which was why it was such a surprise when he decided to speak. "Can I talk to her?"

"Jasper!" Rosalie sounded shocked, but he only had eyes for me.

"Carlisle? Can I talk to her?" His voice was very, very soft, but pleading all the same.

"Of course you can. I'll call from my cell." Peter must have been afraid that I would say no, because he didn't give me a chance to answer. Jasper was still watching me, though, so I nodded. "Certainly."

I still didn't like Maria, nor did I want her within a thousand miles of me and my family, especially Jasper. But it wasn't about me, it was about Jasper, and he clearly _did_ want her. "You can speak to her when Peter is done."

"No, he can't." I had been so caught up in Jasper, that I hadn't noticed Alice appearing in the doorway. "Jasper, you are _not_ going to talk to that bitch."

Her words surprised me more than they should have. No one could deny that Jasper was suffering right now, but so was Alice. To hear her mate, whom she had loved completely for nearly half a century, ask for another woman must have been devastating. No matter how much she loved Jasper, he would always have a bond with Maria that she couldn't touch, and it was tearing her up inside.

Jasper himself said nothing, his ghostly eyes studying her as if the answers were all written across her designer sweater. Finally he raised his eyes to hers, and an entire conversation passed between them in an instant. Her face twitched like she wanted to cry, though of course she couldn't, and she nodded. "All right, then."

He had won whatever battle had just taken place, but even I could tell that he took no pleasure from the victory. Instead he looked sadder than ever, almost shivering there on the bed. The rest of us stood frozen in the face of something we had never seen before: Jasper and Alice fighting. They had their spats, like all couples do, but they had them in private, far out of earshot of the rest of us. The room had gone dead silent, with all of the immortals and even Bella, holding our breath. The pair of them stared each other down for a few seconds more, then Jasper softly raised his arms in invitation. She threw herself into them, her head on his chest. It was over, almost as quickly as it had begun.

Peter had left the room some minutes before, and though I could hear the low cadence of his speech, I couldn't quite make out the words. He sounded worried, though, like he was hearing something he didn't exactly want to. Finally he reemerged and held the phone out to Jasper. "Here you go, Major." Then his orange-red eyes flicked over to me. "She wants to talk to you, too. Later, though, when you're alone."

That may or may not be a good thing. I couldn't imagine what reason Maria would have to speak to me, but if she was planning on doing anything violent, she wouldn't give me this heads-up. Maybe she just wanted an update on Jasper. From what Peter and Charlotte kept telling me, she seemed to have loved him quite a lot.

Even immortals have their limits, and every one of us was at ours. "Everybody out. I think Jasper and Alice want a little privacy." The rest of the family grumbled, but complied, and Alice gave me a grateful smile. Jasper didn't say anything, just studied me with those strange eyes. It was times like this that I really wondered about him, wondered whether he actually liked having me around, or if he just respected me the same way he would any other leader who had proven himself.

From the hallway that I had retreated to, I could hear the soft rumble of Jasper speaking into the phone. If I had paused, I could have made out the words, but I kept going. Whatever Jasper had to say to his creator, it wasn't for my ears to hear. It was between him, her, and Alice. Part of being a good leader was knowing when to back off and let them do things for themselves.

My cell phone vibrated against my hip and I picked it up without checking the display. "This is Dr. Cullen."

"How many centuries have you been using that line?" The voice was quiet, but instantly familiar to an immortal's ears. Sam was calling me back. "The elders of the tribe have agreed that we will meet on neutral ground, your side of the boundary line, to discuss this. Bring the sick one with you."

The knot of tension that had been coiled in my chest loosened a bit. "Thank you, Sam."

He grunted, and I got the impression that he didn't want or need my thanks. "Can you be there by nine-thirty tonight? I only want you, the sick one, and three others. In return, I will only bring four of the pack. Even numbers. I will keep my pack under control, if you will control your vampires. The first hint of aggression, and our contract is over."

"Those terms are acceptable. We can meet at the lake, unless you would prefer somewhere else." The lake would be ideal, because it was almost completely reachable by car. I wasn't sure if Jasper would be able to make the run on his own.

"Agreed. Until then, Dr. Cullen." He hung up without saying goodbye, but I was too excited to notice. Finally, we had a clue how to help Jasper, the first so far. Things were actually looking up.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sam**

Vampires are truly disgusting creatures. After all, what sort of animal kills people just so it can continue to survive? Thousands of lives lost, just so that they can go on with their unnatural existence.

I hadn't always felt that way. Even as recently as three years ago, vampires had seemed cool and wild, almost sexy. Of course, three years ago, they had also seemed imaginary.

Everyone knew when the Cullens moved to town. Any new family was cause for gossip, and they attracted more than most. Not only were they gorgeous, but they had five teenagers, all adopted, kids who didn't look much younger than they were. Even more shocking, the kids were dating each other, and Dr. Cullen and his wife didn't seem to care.

Of course, I heard all of this through the grapevine. Almost as soon as they arrived, I collapsed with what seemed like a massive case of the flu. My fever raged for almost two weeks, and my entire body felt like it was trying to rearrange itself.

As it turned out, my body _was_ rearranging itself. The wolf inside of me had awakened, and it was determined to make its presence and fury known. I couldn't stand to be around other people, even my girlfriend. When Leah tried to comfort me, I rejected her completely, something inside of me disgusted by her very presence.

Now I know that I was rejecting her because she wasn't my imprint, no matter how much we both may have wished it were so. If there's one thing about this entire mess that I regret above all others, it's the pain that I caused Leah.

After suffering for more than a week, I was visited by the tribal elders, who all stood over me with worried expressions, arguing amongst themselves. Most clearly, I remember Billy Black, his face closer to mine due to his being in a wheelchair, staring at me. His dark eyes were filled with so much pity that I thought I was going to die for sure.

And, in a way, I did. The Sam Uley that had existed before was blown to pieces the first time I phased. I guessed I was still him, kind of, but now I was so much more. I was power, I was grace, I was . . . terrified. I was something that existed only in legends, and there was no way to change it. I was never going to be just Sam again. I would always be Sam and the wolf.

When I phased for the first time, it was like I was stretching muscles I hadn't even known I had. The wolf had instincts different from mine, and it wanted freedom. It wanted to run, and hunt, and howl at the moon. It wanted to let everyone know that it was there.

Over the next few days, I learned how to better control the phasing, until it was second nature. I knew every trail in the forest, every animal that belonged there. I also may or may not have marked several trees, just to let any traveling creatures know that there was a new king of the forest.

The elders examined me over and over, not with fear, but with a strange sort of respect. I wasn't the first to phase, but I _was_ the first in more than two generations. But why?

That was when I found out the truth about the Cullens. As near as anyone could determine, it had been their presence which had caused the young men of the tribe to phase before, and their return was causing the formerly inactive gene to express itself. Nomads, which most vampires were, didn't stay long enough to cause us to change. It was their fault. Stupid, violent, wild vampires.

Still, we entered a bit of stasis. The Cullens respected the old boundary line, and things didn't change that much. Occasionally we saw the doctor and his wife, but had I not known for a fact that there were five supposed children in the family, I wouldn't have believed it.

Then Quil Ateara fell suddenly ill, burning up with a fever that we all recognized. Something about his change seemed to trigger off a landslide, and Embry, Jared, and Paul were sick within the month. Suddenly, they were all looking to me for guidance. That was the first time I heard the term 'Alpha'.

Only I wasn't the Alpha. The true Alpha was Jacob Black, though he didn't seem to be at all inclined to phase. He just carried on as always, healthy as a horse. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted him to phase. On the one hand, it would free me from my responsibilities. It would be up to Jacob to make all of the hard decisions, and determine what should be done with the Cullens. On the other hand, once he assumed his responsibilities, he wouldn't be a sixteen-year-old boy any more. His life would be mapped out without concern for his feelings, and I didn't think I wanted that life for him.

What I wanted didn't matter now, though. Jacob had phased, though he was stubbornly refusing to accept the title of Alpha. He would eventually, though, and until he did, I didn't mind keeping it for him. Most of the time, it was actually pretty fun. The rest of the pack looked up to me and respected me, and it was kind of cool to take them hunting and teach them how to work together.

It should have been easy, and it would have been, if it hadn't been for Bella Swan. Jacob wanted her, even though I could already tell that she wasn't his imprint. I could have told him that she wasn't for him, that there was no sense in forcing something that could never be, but he wasn't ready to hear it. I could scream, I could coax, I could point and Leah and Emily and myself, but there's no reasoning with a seventeen-year-old boy who thinks he's in love.

Unfortunately, Bella _also_ thought she was in love, and with one of the leeches to boot. That was when I really started to take an interest in the Cullens. I would phase and lay quietly at the boundary line, watching as they hunted. I learned to tell them apart, though the only one of the 'children' I could name was Edward, Bella's leech.

Now one of the other vampires was sick, and I was having trouble understanding why I should care. So one of them might die, big deal. There were plenty of vampires in the world.

Plus, I knew which vampire they were talking about, and he frightened me a bit. He would stand silently at the boundary line, sometimes pacing, sometimes just watching. He never crossed, so I had no reason to harm him, but a part of me desperately wanted to. He seemed dangerous in a way that none of the rest of them did. He was calculating, even when he hunted, where the others just gave in to their instincts.

I would have just let him die, but somehow, my pack had gotten drawn into this mess, and I was afraid that letting nature take its course with this vampire would spell disaster for them. So I had swallowed my pride and agreed to meet the Cullen family tonight.

I refused to come alone, though. I would take Jacob, Quil, Embry, and Seth. I had originally wanted Leah, but she let me know in no uncertain terms that she wanted nothing to do with me. So I had taken Seth instead, making it clear which member of the family I considered to be the most mature. Naturally, he had been beyond thrilled to be invited and agreed immediately. Five grown werewolves would be enough to put the fear into anyone, and I was hoping that the Cullens would be intimidated. Probably not, though. With the exception of the sick one, they seemed to have no true survival instincts whatsoever.

None of this meant I was happy with the current situation, of course, but there was very little that I could do about it. All I could do was prepare my boys for what was going to happen and hope for the best. They were currently in human form, wrestling happily in the sand. At least, the older three were. Seth was hanging back a bit, more interested in me then he was in them. It could have been just because the others tended to exclude him a bit, due to his age and the fact that Leah was incredibly overprotective of him, but a lot of the time I think there's more to Seth than meets the eye. I smiled at him, and he grinned back, happy to be noticed by someone. I made a mental note to spend a little more time with Seth.

"All right, guys, we need to go over what will happen tonight."

They all came to sit in front of me, dark eyes shining. "You are not to harm any of the Cullens, unless one of them becomes aggressive first. The four of you will remain as wolves, and I'll assume the human form. You are just there for intimidation, and to make sure this isn't some sort of trap."

"Bella wouldn't lead us into a trap." Jacob was already shaking, and I was starting to wonder if it would be better to leave him home tonight. But he was going to have to assume the title of Alpha sooner or later, and dealing with the Cullens was just something he would be required to do. Yes, it sucked that she was into the leech, but he couldn't change that. And if there was anyone who knew about trying to force yourself to love someone who wasn't your imprint, not matter how pure your intentions, it was me.

"Calm yourself. If you can't keep yourself under control here, how to you expect to do it tonight? I swear to God, Jacob, if you start something with the Cullens, even Bella's leech, and they don't kill you, I'll do it myself. _They_ are the animals here, not us." I gave him a minute to settle down, then continued. "I'm not saying that Bella would do anything on purpose, but we know how sneaky those vampires can be."

He growled softly, but the shaking ceased. I waited, but he seemed to have settled. "I do want you to listen, though. Do you guys know which vampire is the sick one?"

Seth and Embry shook their heads, but Quil nodded excitedly. "I do!"

That surprised me. I, myself, hadn't been sure until Bella had said something, and Jacob had found out when I had. "Really?"

"Yeah, the younger blond with the curly hair? Not as big as he can make himself look, though. I'll be he's not much taller than five-eight. I know who he is."

"How?" Usually I was on top of everything my pack did. I didn't necessarily eavesdrop on their every move and thought, but I did keep a close watch.

"Uh . . ." He was squirming now, knowing that he had said too much. The other three whooped it up, making the classic 'ooohhh' noise that meant someone was in trouble. "Well, I know which two are the doctor and his wife, and which one is Edward, so there were only two left to guess from."

I glared, letting him know that I would compel him to tell me the truth if I had to. He heaved a gusty sigh. "Fine. He and I kind of have this thing we do when I'm supposed to be the one watching the boundary line. He meets me and we race it for a few miles. It's kind of fun."

Rage flared up in my chest. "You know you aren't supposed to speak to any of the Cullen family."

"I didn't. I just saw him there one day, and he saw me, and somehow we were running together. He's fast."

There were not enough words in the world for me to express how bad of an idea this was. "And why did you think that this was a good idea?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It was kind of fun, and it's not like he didn't know that we're there at night. I mean, he was waiting for me."

It occurred to me that those times I had seen the leech standing sentry, he might have been waiting for Quil, as opposed to just checking things out. The fact that he hadn't reacted to me, though he could undoubtedly smell me, meant that he could also tell us apart. He might know how many of us there were, as opposed to just knowing that we were present.

I couldn't understand why the vampire would continue to interact with Quil, though. Was it really entertaining for him to race, or was there something more sinister going on?

"When I said _Do not speak to any of the Cullens,_ I meant do not interact with them at all. What if he had hurt you?"

Quil shrugged. "He wouldn't have. He likes racing with me, I can tell."

Or he liked having the chance to study a werewolf up close, to know how quick one was, or to look for weaknesses. Or . . .

_Or maybe these Cullens aren't as bad as you're making them out to be. They weren't what attracted those other vampires to Forks last year, and there haven't been any suspicious deaths since they've been here. Face it; the pack's behavior has been worse and more aggressive than the Cullens' behavior has._

I decided to let it go for the moment. "None of this is important right now. What's important is your behavior tonight. You are not to growl, you are not to charge. You are to just stand there and look mean. If any of them makes a move towards you, or towards me, you can kill them for all I care, but you will not be starting anything. I chose the four of you because you're the least likely to fly off the handle and do something stupid. Do not disappoint me." I hoped that by appealing to their egos, they would have more incentive to stick to what I was saying.

They all agreed, happy that I had chosen them and promising to be on their absolute best behavior tonight. I hoped so, because something told me this night was important, not just for the sick leech, but for all of us.

"All right, you four are released. Meet me here at eight-thirty." It would only take a half hour or so to reach the lake I had specified, but I wanted to make sure that we were there before the vampires.

They scattered, the older three bounding off and Seth lagging behind. He had phased, but didn't run after them. Instead he just stood there, watching them go. "Seth, can you hold up so we can talk?"

The scruffy head nodded, his tail coming up to wag slightly. It wasn't often that he was the center of attention, especially with me. I phased quickly and started walking, setting a quick pace, but one he would be able to keep up with. I let him go for a few minutes, then spoke quietly. _How are you doing, Seth?_

_Good._ He sounded a little puzzled.

_That's good. How are things with Leah?_

That earned me a snort and a quick baring of the teeth. _I hate her most of the time. But she's my sister; I can hate her as long as I love her, too._

I supposed I couldn't fault him for feeling that way. Since she had first phased, Leah had been even more unbearable than usual. Not only was she still pissed off at me, but having to listen to the thoughts and desires of not only a bunch of teenage boys, but her former lover . . . that had to hurt. She was so lonely, since she would have to keep half of herself hidden from any female friends she made. But as bad as things were for her, she wasn't making them any easier for the rest of us.

_She still hates you, though._

I had almost forgotten that Seth was even there. _She's probably always going to hate me._ I hoped that that wasn't true, but until she felt the power of an imprint for herself, I guessed she had every right to hate me.

_Probably. _He attempted to leap over a fallen log only to stumble over his own feet and crash to the ground. _Ow._

I bared my teeth in what could almost be considered a laugh. He returned the gesture and grabbed a hold of my ruff, shaking gently. I jumped and batted back with both of my front feet, standing on my hind legs. That was when Seth surprised me. Instead of rising up, he dove down and swept my back feet out from underneath me. I was unable to get up before he was on top of me, his nose to my throat.

He didn't mean anything by it, of course. In reality, he probably didn't even realize that what he was doing could be taken as a challenge. To Seth, he was wrestling with a friend. If he had been an older and stronger wolf, I would have worried. But he was still a half-grown puppy, and his actions were cute rather than threatening.

They also told me that he did have the instinct to fight, something I hadn't seen in many of the others. Paul had it, but his was more of a simple temper. Useful, but difficult to control. If he had been the one to put me on my back, I would have been a lot more frightened. Despite, or perhaps because of, his young age, Seth had a fairly good handle on the wolf inside of him, and he didn't give in to its more aggressive demands easily.

Still, it wouldn't do to let him get an unrealistic idea of his own power, so I flipped him over and took his snout in my jaws. I was gentle, doing nothing to hurt him or impede his breathing in any way, but it was clear that the game was over. I held for a few seconds, then released.

Seth gave his entire body a quick shake, then returned to my side. _How come you're asking all these questions?_

_Just making conversation, that's all. I don't like the thought of any of us being alone out here, not now that the leeches know we're here._

_Are you mad at Quil?_

This was thought-speak, the bond that ran deep between the members of the pack. There shouldn't have been a tone to it at all, just the words, but somehow there was. Somehow those five words had come out packed with fear. I did my best to soothe him. _No. I'm a little frustrated at his behavior, especially because he could have chosen the wrong vampire to play with and been seriously hurt, but I'm more irritated that I wasn't paying close enough attention to know what he was up to._

_Oh. Are you going to tell him you aren't mad at him?_

It was a good question. As the Alpha of the pack, my thoughts were far more hidden from them than theirs were from me. I cut my eyes at him, drawing him into a secret. _Maybe I'll let him suffer for a little bit._

Seth gave me another wolfy grin, his breath fogging in the cool air. _Yeah, that would be great._

I debated whether or not to keep going, but I didn't get the chance to be with just Seth very often, especially considering that Leah did her best to keep us apart, so I pushed ahead. _You know, the others don't mean to leave you out, sometimes._

_I know. They just don't think about me, 'cause they still think I'm just a little kid. It's not like they leave me out on purpose, so it's all right._

Except it wasn't. True, Seth was young compared to the rest of them, but he was still a member of the pack, and he deserved the same respect as the rest of them. _I'll talk to them._

_You don't have to. _The words were cautious, but I could see the hope in his eyes.

_Don't worry, I won't tell them that we talked. _I grabbed his scruff playfully, flipping him onto his back. He yipped and struggled, kicking at me with both hind feet, but he couldn't break my hold. _All right, get yourself home._

I raced back to my place, leaping onto the porch. Emily was sitting in the swing, humming contentedly, and I phased back as quickly as I could. She smiled and brushed her lips against mine. "Do you have to run through a mud puddle every single time?"

I kissed her harder. "This is Forks, where it rains three hundred and sixty days out of the year. It's nothing _but_ mud puddles out there."

"At least you didn't shake all over the porch. Now if you could just train your puppies to do the same thing, they would be more welcome here."

The rest of the pack was always welcome here, and we all knew it. "I'll bring it up to them tonight."

"You're still going to meet that sick vampire?" Her tone was unreadable.

I nodded. "We have to. I don't know how we're involved with this, but we are, and I need to know how to help my pack. And if helping them means helping the Cullens, then so be it."

She nodded again. "This could be a good thing."

"How?" I saw very little positive about this situation.

"Well, maybe it's time to let this thing with the Cullens go. They've been in Forks twice that we know of, and no one has died. Maybe we need something more than a boundary line. We all know that there's worse in the world than these Cullens." She stood up and opened the front door, looking seriously at me. "An alliance wouldn't hurt either one of us."

"Absolutely not! We have an alliance, and that is what the boundary line is for. A hundred and seventy-five years ago, it was good enough for our ancestors, and it is good enough for us today." I was appalled that she would even consider such a thing.

"And a hundred and seventy-five years ago, we were also 'filthy savages' that needed to be killed off or converted for our own good. Dinner will be ready in a half hour, go wash up."

She wouldn't say anything else about the Cullens tonight, and she didn't have to. Her point had been made, and it stung deeply. Maybe I should use tonight to gauge the Cullens, and go from there.

Dinner was a quiet affair, with both of us lost in our own thoughts. When we finished, there was still more than an hour to wait, so I went and lay down on the couch. Emily came and sat next to me, her soft fingers running up and down my back. "It'll all go all right."

I wished I had her confidence. "We can't know that. Even if the Cullens themselves behave, there's still the matter of the sick one. We don't know what's wrong with him, if he's contagious, or if he's bringing something terrible in to Forks."

"Jasper?" Her question was soft, but the implication that she knew him made my head pop up.

"How did you know his name?" Was every member of the tribe cavorting with those leeches behind my back?

If anyone should be afraid of me, should know how dangerous I can be when angry, it's Emily. Those marks on her face will never change, never heal, and every time I see them, I'll know that I'm the one who put them there. She knows exactly what I am, but she never flinches back. "Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett. Then Edward, of course. Everybody in Forks knows the names of the Cullens. It's just that none of you have cared enough to match the faces with the names. I knew it would be important one day, so I got last year's yearbook and looked them up. Blond male matches Jasper and Carlisle, and, since you spoke to Carlisle on the phone, it's easy to figure out that that Jasper is the one who is ill. Things might go better tonight if you would at least call him by name. 'That leech' or 'the sick one' isn't going to win you any points."

She was right, of course. I had to at least be polite, or this whole thing would be for nothing. "You're right."

"I'm always right, and the better you remember that, the easier things will be for you." She pulled me close for another kiss. "Now go do the pack proud."

The boys were already waiting for me, their bodies practically vibrating with excitement even though they had already phased. I phased as well, bracing myself against the sudden onslaught of thoughts and emotions. It was all good, though. They were familiar to me in a way that no one else in the world would understand.

"Sam!" Emily was holding out a satchel. "Don't forget your clothes, unless you plan on meeting with the Cullens naked."

_That's right, show those leeches what a real man looks like!_ That was from Embry, who was panting with laughter.

I raced back to the porch and allowed Emily to slip the bag around my neck. She kissed the top of my head, her arms still hugging me. I resisted the urge to lick her face, something I was pretty sure she didn't appreciate. I did, however, turn my head to lay my face against her chest. She kissed me one more time. "Go get 'em."

We actually made it to the lake quicker than I thought we would. I had failed to factor in that we were moving with a purpose now, not the lackadaisical gallop which usually characterized our travels. I didn't have to tell Quil to stop picking on Seth, Jacob didn't stop to pee every ten feet, and no one took off chasing a butterfly or rabbit. Once we were there, I gave them a stern reminder of what I expected from them, and phased back.

All four of them tipped their heads back and howled at the sight of my naked body. I flipped them off and shrugged into my clothes. They were such teenagers sometimes. Still, their howls would no doubt carry down to the Cullen house, and would at least make its inhabitants uneasy, if not downright frightened.

When the Cullens appeared, the four of them were in perfect formation, all standing behind me. They arrived on foot, though I had heard a car earlier. To my surprise, they also brought Bella.

The doctor shrugged. "She threatened to follow us and get lost in the woods. Oh, and also get eaten by wild dogs or kidnapped by lonely mountain men. Bella did I miss anything?"

She nodded. "Yes, my body wouldn't be found for years, until I was just a scattered pile of bones that would have to be identified through my dental records, but only if they could find both my upper and lower jaw."

He smiled gently at her, and that smile was way too close to the one I gave the younger members of the pack. It was a paternal smile, and he had no right to be giving it to any human, much less Bella. To my right, Jacob growled softly. I turned and shot him a look, the kind that silenced him immediately.

Dr. Cullen kept going. "These are my sons, Edward, Emmett and Jasper, and my daughter, Rosalie. Jasper is the one who is feeling poorly."

His choice of vampires intrigued me. Emmett had obviously been chosen for his size, and Jasper had been brought because he was ill, but why Edward and Rosalie? I didn't like the way either one of them was looking at me. Edward looked like he knew something that we didn't, and Rosalie had a glare on her face that could have rivaled Leah when she had PMS.

It was Jasper who struck me the most, though. He swept his gaze over me and towards the pack, who completely embarrassed me. Jacob growled again. Seth took one look and lay down submissively. Quil started wagging his tail like a goddamned Labrador. Only Embry held position, but he was easing nervously from foot to foot. They were in the presence of another Alpha, and all four of them knew it.

I wondered if Dr. Cullen knew what he had in this Jasper, but probably not. I also couldn't understand why Jasper would willingly submit to the doctor, who was nowhere near as strong of a leader as he was. Maybe the Cullen coven had its own strange dynamics.

"I'm Sam, and this is part of the pack." I didn't identify them by name, which would have put us in a bad position should things go sour. My eyes met Jasper's, and he nodded very slightly. He understood what I was doing, and he respected me for it.

That was when I noticed an interesting difference between Jasper and the other vampires. They all had eyes that ranged from pale yellow to black. His were crystal blue, and deeply focused on mine. He stood tall and calm, not letting any weakness show, but I could smell the sickness on him. Dr. Cullen had been right. He was very, very ill.

Dr. Cullen gestured at us softly. "Jasper, do you recognize anyone here?"

"Yes. But not by name." He gestured to Quil. "I know him, kind of."

"Does the name Jacob sound familiar? Embry? Paul? Quil?" I knew that the doctor was trying to see if he was getting flashes of faces along with the conversations he seemed to be able to repeat, but Jasper was shaking his head.

"Only from Bella." He was shaking his head softly, the blond hair getting in his eyes. "I don't know what I'm doing here."

"I don't think any of us do, dude." That was from Emmett, the huge one. "We're all doing the best we can."

_He looks like shit. I mean, really bad, Sam. He didn't look like this at all the last time we met at the boundary line. _Quil was panting, his lips pulled back from his teeth in a nervous grin.

"I agree with Jasper, I don't see how this can help." Rosalie was watching us with undisguised disgust.

Jasper spoke up before Carlisle could correct her. "Easy, Rose. Having allies is never a bad thing, and we don't know what might or might not help."

The pack was not going to be allied with these vampires, no matter what he thought, but I didn't let my face betray those thoughts. I had to admire his way of soothing tempers, though. He was actually making me feel calm and hopeful.

Suddenly Jacob started growling, louder than before. I started to turn, but now the entire pack was growling and turning around. Jacob spoke rapidly into my mind. _They lied! There's another vampire here, hanging back. I told you we couldn't trust them!_

That comment hurt, because I actually had been starting to relax around the Cullens. Their manners had been impeccable so far, and they genuinely seemed to need something from us. _Jacob, you and Embry go check it out. Catch the other vampire, but just hold him. Do not destroy him, got it? Seth, Quil, you stay with me._

The Cullens were all looking around now, no doubt trying to figure out why half of the pack had just turned around and vanished into the night. Bella tugged on Edward's arm. "What's going on?"

He shushed her quietly, the sight of his hand on hers making my skin crawl.

"Bella, can you come over here?"

Her arms crossed over her chest. "No. I want to know what's going on. Where did Jacob go?"

"It seems that the Cullens have an extra vampire lurking around here. Dr. Cullen, I thought we agreed to meet as equals?" I made my voice as biting as I possibly could.

_Sam? Uh, Sam? _Seth was anxious and I shot him a glare. I should have left him home; he was too young and inexperienced to meet with so many vampires at once.

_Quiet, Seth._

_But, Sam—_

I cut him off, adding in an order for him to be silent this time, instead of just a suggestion. He started to whine immediately, and I felt bad, but there were more important things happening right now.

The doctor seemed puzzled. "The rest of my family is still at the house, with strict orders to stay there. Perhaps a nomad—"

A grey blur shot by me and across the clearing, mingling among the vampires. No, that wasn't a blur, it was Seth. He was whining and barking, spinning in circles around them.

Emmett smirked. "What is it, Lassie? Is Timmy in the well?"

Quil suddenly got it. _He means that Jasper's gone! He must have bolted while we were talking about the nomad._

A quick head count of the Cullens determined that Quil was right. Jasper was gone. "Where's Jasper?"

They all jumped and started looking around. Dr. Cullen turned to Emmett. "You were supposed to be watching him! I specifically told you to keep an eye on your brother!"

Jacob's voice came back to me. _The other vampire's female, blond, bright red eyes. We have her on the run. _His voice was thick with the thrill of the chase.

_Is Jasper with her?_

_No. Why, did you lose him? _He was only listening to me with half an ear, I could tell. Stupid teenage wolves and their inch-long attention spans. I turned to the rest of my pack. _Go. Both of you. I'll meet you later. _They squirmed, but vanished into the woods, their howls rising to join the ones I heard in the distance.

A cell phone shrilled through the clearing, making us all jump. Rosalie grabbed it and spoke, her words too quick to understand. The cell phone fell from her hand. "Carlisle, Emmett, get together. That was Alice. She says she couldn't see us a minute ago, but now she can, and we've walked right into a trap!"

I called the pack back to me, knowing even as I did it that I was too late. Vampires appeared out of the woods, at least of dozen of them, surrounding all of us. Edward pushed Bella behind him and snarled at them. I phased in an explosion of clothing, baring my teeth. They paused, but whatever was driving them on was more important than their natural fear of a shapeshifter.

I backed up until I bumped one of the Cullens. This was it; we needed to work together if we wanted to survive.

With an evil smirk, the first vampire lunged.


	13. Chapter 13

**Emmett**

_Oh, shit, I lost my brother._

Dad was yelling in frustration, which made me feel about ten years old and three inches tall, and I was trying to figure out when I had last seen Jasper. He had been standing at my side, quiet and sick. He was swaying a little bit, because his balance is kind of sucky lately, then everyone started yelling about there being another vampire and we all started looking and I guess I stopped watching Jasper.

That was a mistake, because I've never met anyone who can just disappear like my brother. Sometimes he doesn't even leave the room, he just vanishes back into his own head, and you can't wake him up for anything. It used to terrify me, the way he would shut down when he first came to us. That doesn't happen very often anymore, though, which is great. It's scary to see your brother turn into a mannequin.

Something bumped into the back of my legs, and I almost grabbed it before I realized that it was one of the wolves. Didn't know which one, didn't really care, but I couldn't hurt him. They might not be friends yet, but at least they weren't a pack of newborns, ready for our blood. Well, not our blood, I guess, since we don't actually have any, but our lives. Well, maybe not our lives, either, because—

The thought was cut off by the wolf howling, a wild sound that sent shivers racing up my spine. The newborns were even more affected, seeming to lose the thread of their attack as they scattered out of formation.

_Jasper could have held them together._

Sometimes I think Jasper can do anything he wants to. He hides it pretty well, but I'm pretty sure that he's the smartest vampire in the house, in addition to being the best fighter. He has entire books memorized, and he never, ever forgets what you tell him. Plus, he can actually win a chess game against both Edward and Alice, which might make him some kind of superhero.

Without warning, the smallest wolf leapt forward, grabbing one of the newborns by a leg. That wolf was a brave little shit, and I joined it as quickly as I could, tearing the vampire's head from her body. The wolf gave me a quick bark and rejoined his packmates, all of whom were tearing into the newborns.

Somewhere at my left, Rose gave a squeal of fear and pain, causing a red haze to settle over my vision. No one, and I mean no one, touched my Rosie with anything other than the gentlest of hands.

By the time I got there, though, she had decapitated the newborn that had jumped her, and was well on her way to destroying another one. That was my girl.

But we were still outnumbered. Even with the wolves, and I had to admit that they were doing their part, there were just too many newborns. For every one that was lying in pieces on the ground, at least one more appeared. We were drowning, and for the first time, I realized how amazing it was that Jasper had survived what he had.

One of the wolves was whimpering now, unable to put its front paw on the ground. I didn't think it was Bella's wolf, or the little one, and it definitely wasn't the leader, either. But that was one wolf down, and no end to the newborns. The other wolves huddled around the injured one, leaving the rest of us vulnerable.

Suddenly I was down on the ground, my face in the dirt and a heavy weight on my back. I managed to flip the newborn off, but then another one was on my legs, and I realized that I couldn't get loose this time. This was it: my unlife was over.

I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped that having my head torn off didn't hurt. A roar rumbled through the clearing, and the vampire was thrown off of me. Red eyes met mine, and I realized that reinforcements had arrived.

Peter held out a hand, and I let him pull me up. "Thanks, dude."

He nodded, already searching out his next target. I looked around and saw that the entire rest of the family was there, including the Denalis. With them, we actually stood a chance.

Whoever was controlling the newborns must have known it, too, because a call sounded from the forest. The noise was somewhere between a snarl and a howl, and I felt the hair on the back of my neck raise up. Over to my left, I saw the hackles rise on each wolf, so I wasn't the only one affected by it.

That should have stopped the fight right there. The leader was calling, and now it was time for them to leave us alone. But they didn't. The newborns (and they had to all be newborns; no normal vampire was that strong) had their bloodlust up, and there was no getting them back under control. Luckily, they were turning on each other as quickly as they were attacking us, and I felt a little bit of hope.

Another newborn attacked from the left, but I saw it coming and was able to knock it to the side. I was about to tear its head off when the little wolf charged in again and took care of it for me. His yellow eyes met mine, and he gave sharp yip. Even though we were in a miserable situation and he was supposed to be my mortal enemy, I couldn't help but give a playful growl back. The fuzzy tail wagged, before he twisted to tip his head back and howl.

The effect was electric. If the newborns weren't afraid of our suddenly increased numbers, they were terrified of the wolves. Without their leader, they panicked and started running into one another. Soon they were battling each other even harder than they were fighting with us. All the wolves began to howl, providing a soundtrack for this horror movie.

Charlotte managed to get us all into a tight bunch by the wolves. Lucky that she knew what to do, because the rest of us would have stood there until we were taken out by a stray newborn.

It was carnage. Maybe I'm naïve, but I'd never, ever, seen anything like it. There was a war when I was a little boy, but it was over by the time I was old enough to fight. Plus, it wasn't like it is today, where you can see all the blood and guts and everything all over YouTube. The images were sanitized. They certainly didn't look like this, with arms and legs flung all over the place.

"We should stop this." Carlisle could never stand to see anyone suffer.

"No." Peter's red eyes were focused on the melee. "Unless you can get the Major to reappear and use his gift, they're all dead. They just don't know it yet."

He was right. What had started out as around fifty newborns was down to just a handful, and getting fewer all the time. Since we were out of their direct sight, they had forgotten us entirely. Even the wolves were quiet now, except for soft growls.

"Where is Jasper?" Bella was whispering to Edward, but it carried over the sounds of the newborns.

"He'll be okay." He was trying to comfort her, but even I could tell he was lying. And if I can tell something like that, it's pretty obvious.

Sure enough, she was shaking her head. "No, he won't. He's sick and alone and what if they found him first? He might not have been able to fight back."

Sometimes Edward's little human surprised me. Less than twenty feet away, hysterical vampires were tearing each other to pieces, and she was worried about the one Cullen who had yet to show her much in the way of attention.

"He'll be able to fight back." Peter patted her on the shoulder, earning himself the shit look from Edward. Like he was going to just lunge at her with no warning. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and all, but he needs to loosen up. "Jasper wasn't always a tame little pussycat."

She gave a weak nod. "Okay. But he's still lost."

I didn't want to think about that, but there was no point in freaking Bella out. "He knows how to get himself home. He's probably already there."

By this point, there was only one newborn left, and Peter stepped in to take care of him. Carlisle reached out and grabbed his arm. "Peter, wait."

I knew what he was going to ask. I also knew that it was pointless. And thirdly (or just third. Thirdish? You know, let's just call it point C), I knew that he knew that it was pointless, too. With everything else going on right now, there was no way we could handle a newborn.

Even if he looked no older than fourteen or fifteen, standing there trembling and whining softly.

Peter looked at us all for a long minute, then shook his head. "I can do it, if you want."

"There has to be another way." But Carlisle's yellow eyes were already defeated.

"How?" Peter sounded a little angry and a lot sad. "You have a house full of strange vampires, eight of us if I count correctly. You have one vampire, one who is an established member of your coven and thus gets priority, who is incredibly ill and none of us have any idea why. There is a human right here, one who you seem to have taken under your wing and protection. Not to mention, you have a pack of shapeshifters less than fifteen feet away, watching your every move and trying to decide whether or not we've broken their treaty so they can kill us without repercussions. If you have any idea how you can add a newborn vampire into this clusterfuck and not have it result in the slaughter of half of this town and coven, I would love to hear it."

"We could . . . no, we couldn't. But don't be cruel, Peter." He was already turning his back, unable to watch the actual decapitation.

"Don't worry, Carlisle. I've done this enough to be very, very good at it." Peter stepped forward, his hand out, as if he were just going to greet the newborn.

I didn't want to watch, but I kind of felt like I had to. This was part of being a vampire, at least part of being a real one, and maybe it was time we started learning about the parts that weren't so good. Maybe if we had done it before, Jasper would be okay now, or at least we would know what was wrong with him.

Yeah, I hadn't forgotten Jasper. Don't tell Edward this, but Jasper's kind of my favorite brother, maybe even my favorite sibling. He's fun and almost always up to play a game with me. Sometimes he gets a little cranky and distant, which means he's tired and wants to be left alone, but most of the time he's great. Plus, Carlisle still kind of pities him, since what he went through when he was younger was so bad, so a lot of times I can squirm out of trouble if Jasper's with me.

But I knew better than to just charge after him. Even now, with the newborns gone (well, almost. Peter was still edging up to the one that was left), blindly chasing him wasn't going to do anything. We needed to try and get his scent, and decide who was going in which direction, and all of that good strategy stuff that Jasper taught me about one summer.

It would be all sorts of awesome if the wolves would help us with that, but they were kind of glaring at us right now, and I was pretty sure that they weren't going to be too friendly. The one with the hurt leg was sitting down, his paw raised up off the ground, but the rest of them were still standing stiffly.

Peter finally managed to get close enough to the last newborn to grab him around the chest and neck. One twist and it was over, too fast for any of us to have called a stop to it, even if we had wanted to. He let both pieces fall to the ground, shaking his head. "We need to start a fire. Burn the pieces."

"No, we need to split up." That was Alice, her thoughts on Jasper, as always. "Some of us stay to burn, the rest start looking for Jasper. Someone needs to take Bella back to the house and stay there with her until we figure out what to do."

Both Bella and one of the wolves (probably Jacob, because even I can tell that he's super sweet on her) started to protest, but Alice cut them off with a wave of her hand. "Bella, please. You aren't going to be able to keep up on a tracking mission, and I need someone at home if Jasper tries to go there. He might try to go where it's familiar. And you!" She pointed at the black wolf, who had enough sense to quail under her angry gaze. "What exactly do you plan on doing with her? Making her walk fifteen miles back to the Rez? Having her ride one of you like a horse, while an angry vampire stalks you through the woods? Like it or not, she's safest with us right now, so suck it up! I have bigger problems than horny, overgrown puppies!"

This was why you didn't get between a vampire and their mate. Because we will crush anyone who gets in the way. But Alice must have realized how she sounded, because she visibly softened. "But before we do anything else, Carlisle, make sure that poor wolf can get home on that foot. It looks like it hurts."

Everyone, including the wolves, stared, our mouths hanging open. Bella snickered. "Just let him look, guys. He's a doctor and it's not worth arguing with Alice."

The head wolf gave a soft chuff, and turned to the injured one, staring deeply. The hurt wolf stood up and limped back into the woods.

Edward glanced over. "He'll be back. He's going to go change so you can look at his arm. Sam also says that treaty or no treaty, if you mess with him, he'll tear your head off right here."

Charlotte leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Peter and I can take Bella home. I don't think that the dogs have noticed our eyes yet, or if they would even know what it means if they did, but it might be a good idea if we were gone before they figure it out."

Smart. But Edward was shaking his head. "No. If anyone's going to take Bella home, it's going to be me."

Carlisle shook his head back. "I need you here, to communicate with the wolves and to keep an eye out for your brother. She'll be perfectly safe."

I think Edward wanted to keep arguing, but the wolf returned, this time in human form. Quil. That was his name. Quil was the wolf with the dark brown fur and the small white patch on his chest. His left arm was cradled to his chest. He looked nervously at the biggest wolf, who nodded at him.

Tentatively, he extended his arm to Carlisle, who moved it around a little. "Okay, it's not broken. I would splint it, but I'm guessing that you'll heal quickly enough that it won't matter. Do you want a ride back to the reservation?"

Quil twitched backwards, out of Carlisle's grip. "No, I can manage. Thanks, though."

"Then we're decided. Peter and Charlotte will take Bella home. The rest of us will split up and look for Jasper." Even Edward knew better than to argue with that tone.

"No." The head wolf had changed back, too, and I really wish that someone had told me that the clothes don't transform with them because I did _not_ need to see another guy's junk like that. "I'm not letting Bella go anywhere with you until we get some answers. Who are these vampires, and why are they after you?"

Ah, the million-dollar question. Before anyone could tell him that we didn't know, Edward spoke up. "It's Victoria. It has to be Victoria coming after Bella."

Why had none of us thought of that? Victoria was a woman with a vendetta against our family and nothing else to lose. Once a vampire has lost their mate, that's it. There will never be another one, and most of them follow into eternal death shortly after.

"Oh get over it." Rosalie appeared at my side, her face streaked with dirt and her hair a mess, and I really kind of wanted to sneak off with her right then. Just for a quickie, I promise. She must have read my thoughts, because she gave me a quick smack. "No, Emmett. And, Edward, it's not Victoria. Not everything that happens to this family revolves around her, you know."

"Really? Well, then what's your explanation, my beautiful sister? That this vampire is after us because you're so stunningly gorgeous that she can't stand it and just had to go on the attack?" Edward wasn't going to listen to anything Rose said, even if she was making a good point, because they happen to hate each other. I don't even get in the middle of it any more, since it just ends up with both of them mad at me.

"Yes, my wonderful and repressed brother, that's exactly it. Only you know what the problem is here? Jasper is the one who's being targeted. Not me, not you, and not Bella! _Jasper_. If it's a vampire with a grudge, it's someone who has a grudge against _him._"

Point to Rose. The only problem was, there were probably so many vampires out there with grudges against Jasper that trying to figure out which one this might be was impossible.

It was then that I noticed that Peter and Charlotte had taken advantage of the fight to sneak off with Bella. Good job, guys; this could last a while.

"Why now? What has that leech done recently to piss someone off?" The wolf had gone so quiet that we had forgotten him. "Who did he kill?"

"No one!" I was growling now, but I couldn't help it. Jasper has so many problems, but he tries the hardest out of our entire family, and I hated to see someone accuse him of something he hadn't done. "Jasper hasn't done anything wrong."

"He has to have done something. Otherwise, why target him? He's well protected in a family that obviously loves him and is willing to fight for him. Seems foolish to try and attack him, unless it's personal."

As much as I hated to admit it (and, like any self-respecting vampire, I did hate to admit it), the head wolf was right. With no one else in the family ill, despite us sharing everything, Jasper had to be the specific target. But anytime he was out in public, he was with at least one of us, and he so seldom cared to interact with anyone outside the family, we would have known if there had been a recent incident.

Which brought me right back to the problem of having no idea what to do. Of course, if we couldn't find Jasper, and soon, we weren't going to find him at all.

I looked over at the injured wolf, my eyes meeting his. He tried to look down, but I kept our gazes locked. "Please."

The family might think I'm kind of stupid, and maybe they're right, but I can read people. This dog knew Jasper, I was sure of it. I hadn't missed the way his tail wagged when he first saw my brother. And I did pay attention when Jasper had told Carlisle that sometimes he and one of the wolves would run the boundary line for fun. This wolf, this Quil, had to be the one he meant. Maybe that spark between them would be enough. "Please, help me find my brother." I pointed at the littlest wolf. "I would help you guys get Snoopy here home if you asked."

"I . . ." He looked over at the big wolf in charge, silently asking for help. The rest of the pack, still in wolf form, watched as well, giving no indication of how they felt about it. "Come on, Sam."

"They got us attacked by those wild animals. Your arm might be broken. We don't owe them anything, Quil, and you know it. Our people have been at war with theirs for centuries! Maybe even millennia!"

Quil shrugged, rotating his wrist gently. "Maybe it's time for that to change. We were on the same side ten minutes ago, so why can't we be on the same side now?"

Sam (I had to remember to start calling them by their names, instead of just 'wolf' or 'dog' or 'Snoopy.' I guessed if I wanted them to respect us, I had to start respecting them. Or something like that) looked between us and his pack, nervous for the first time. Of course he was. He had to make a split-second decision, or he would lose face in front of not only us, but his pack as well. He was responsible for all of them, and there was no way everyone was going to be happy, no matter what he picked.

Dude, it had to _suck_ to be him right now.

Lucky for him, he was saved by a loud buzzing sound. A very familiar buzzing that seemed to be coming directly from Carlisle's pocket.

"Dad, your phone is ringing." Sometimes I slip up and call him that, even when no humans are listening. We all do, except for Jasper, of course. He's kind of the exception to every rule. But, even in the dire situation we had found ourselves in, I couldn't help but get a naughty little thrill out of this. "Don't you always tell us that our phones should be off whenever we meet with other people? That it's good manners to do so?" You so rarely catch Carlisle being anything but perfect that I couldn't help but get the dig in.

He glared, but I could hear the breathy chuffing of the wolves behind us, and I was pretty sure that they were laughing at him. Then he looked at the display. "It's the house."

Somehow, I knew that it wasn't just Peter and Charlotte confirming that they had made it home with Bella safely. At the same time, Alice gasped next to me. "No." It was a tiny whimper.

Even though he wasn't talking very loud, the voice on the other end of the phone was clear to everyone in the clearing. "Hi, Carlisle. It's me."

"Jasper." Carlisle's fingers were so tight on the phone that I was afraid it might break. "Son, where are you? What happened?"

"I'm all right." His voice was breathy and strange, almost disoriented. Something was wrong, really bad this time. "Um . . . can you come home, please? It's kind of important."

"We're leaving right now, and we should be there in less than twenty minutes. Are Peter and Charlotte there with Bella? I don't want you to be by yourself right now."

"Not yet. But I'm not alone." His voice trembled at little, and I suddenly realized that he wasn't disoriented at all. He was terrified, which was something I had never seen before. He has his quirks and strange phobias, sure, but let's face it. Once you've lived through what Jasper has, there's not going to be much in Forks, Washington that's going to frighten you. "Please come home."

It was the second time he had wanted that, and this from a vampire who seldom required, or even asked for, anything from anybody. Whatever was going on at home, it was bad.

Carlisle knew it, too. "Jasper, are you in danger right now?"

The pause was so long that I thought we might have lost the connection. "No. I don't think so."

"Are you sure?" None of us wanted to walk into a bad situation blind.

This time there was no pause. "I'm not in any danger. At least not right this second." Then there was another silence from him, but I heard someone speaking in the background, the actual words indistinct. "Peter and Charlotte are in the yard. I have to go."

He hung up before anyone could tell him not to. Carlisle gave the wolves a quick wave. "Well, apparently my missing child has made his way home. Sam, I would be most honored if you and your pack would consider a further alliance between us, both to face this crisis and in the future. Thank you for your help." He pointed at all of us, then off towards the house. Oh, I got it. Run!

Edward was the fastest one in the family, but he wasn't that much faster than the rest of us. I kept up a little mental litany of 'Run home, Jack. Run home, Jack' as we ran, just to entertain myself and keep my mind off of how much trouble Jasper was probably in. I love the movie _Hook._ So sue me.

Once we were out of the woods, I could smell the vampires in the house. Jasper, Charlotte, Peter . . . they were all there. Bella, too, though her heartbeat was more interesting than her smell.

I had mentally tracked all of them to the living room before I made it to the porch. Edward pulled open the door and stumbled inside, only to freeze and cause a ten vampire pile-up in the doorway. I overbalanced, which sent me crashing to the floor. Funnily enough, that actually gave me a better view of the living room than just about everyone else, since I didn't have to try and look over their heads.

Jasper was sitting in the bigger armchair, his hands folded in his lap and his eyes half closed. He looked like he could barely hold himself upright. When we all came crashing in, though, he looked over briefly, and there was fear in those blue depths that made my stomach roll. Then he went back to staring at whatever had caught his attention in the first place.

Peter and Charlotte were on the couch across from him, Bella in between them. Charlotte had one arm around our little human, with the girl pulled protectively close to her. Peter looked like he was ready to spring up and attack at the slightest provocation.

Of the four of them, Bella alone seemed undisturbed by what was happening. Of course, that was probably because she alone didn't recognize the fourth vampire in the room, the one sitting on the loveseat like a reigning queen.

She was lovely, just like all vampires. But this particular vampire had an edge to her beauty, a slight danger that only served to make her more alluring. Even though she was doing nothing but sitting there, I felt drawn to her. I pulled back, though, knowing what she was actually capable of.

Carlisle finally recovered his voice, speaking to our unexpected (and totally unwelcome) guest.

"Hello, Maria."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Writing Maria is kind of fun! She looks at things so differently from everyone else, but I do believe that she does care for Jasper, in her own way. After all, IIRC, canon states that she did visit him at least once, so there must be some lingering fondness on someones part. Three guesses say it's not Alice's, though. ;)**

**Maria**

Unbelievable. Everything that had happened over the past three days had been exciting, of course, but none of it compared to seeing my Major again, no matter what the circumstances.

And what extraordinary circumstances they were. There he was, sitting on the couch and staring at me with the loveliest blue eyes I had ever seen. The same eyes which had drawn me to him well over a century ago.

Well, maybe not exactly the same.

The boy (and despite what age and the conventions of the time said, he was still a child compared to me) who had approached me on that road had a rather transparent expression. But then, he'd had nothing to hide. After all, all he was doing was offering his assistance to a trio of stranded ladies. What could possibly go wrong?

Thousands of men have lost their lives by making that same mistake.

Now his face was closed off and hard. He didn't want to trust me, which did cause a bit of a pang near my heart. Or maybe that was his own pain I was feeling. Jasper had never been able to close himself off to me the way he did other creatures.

Beyond the pain, indecision slowly leaked around the room. He might not want to trust me, but a part of him always would. I created him, both mother and father, and, whether he liked it or not, the two of us would always be tied together through that. No matter what these Cullens told him, he belonged to me as much as he does to them. Maybe more so, since I'd had him longer.

He would come to accept that in time. So I didn't feel bad to be sitting there, seeing him after so many years but not being able to touch him. I could overpower him right now, but that wasn't really my style. If I played my cards right, he would come to me before a day had passed.

Off to my left, Peter growled softly. Though I wanted to growl back, I did nothing. He had to be made to understand that he was beneath my notice. He had never been an exceptional fighter, and I would have had him destroyed, but Jasper had taken a shine to him, so I let him stay. He always was Jasper's little lackey.

Peter's mate was less familiar. One of mine—I can always recognize my own line—and I had a few memories of seeing her in the training camps, but I had no idea as to her name. Just another failed newborn.

The human girl in between them did draw my attention, though. Normally, I would have simply assumed that Jasper had abandoned his ridiculous diet and brought home a meal, but Jasper had growled weakly as soon as I took my first step towards her. Not a meal, then, but what? Anything was possible in this traveling circus of a coven he had managed to join.

Suddenly it hit me. So, this was the human girl who mated a vampire. Figured. Though I had expected her to be taller, or at least have larger breasts. This girl was perfectly ordinary, at least on the outside.

If they wouldn't feed him human, or he wouldn't eat it (Jasper had always been a stubborn one, and no one makes him do what he truly doesn't want to. Not even me. Not that he knew that. If I'd ever let him know that his will was stronger than mine, I would have been in a world of trouble), these Cullens at least needed to be providing him _something_. He was in no shape to hunt his own dinner, but I know what a hungry vampire looks like, and my Major was starving.

Of course, knowing what I did about what was happening, it might well be that he was being offered food and refusing to feed. Vomiting up everything that passes your lips is not a nice sensation.

I turned to Jasper. "Are you eating, _niño?_ When was the last time you fed?"

He blinked a few times, looking confused. "I . . ."

"He keeps throwing up." The little human spoke up bravely, even though she couldn't quite meet my eyes. "I don't think he's kept a meal down in at least a day. I tried . . ." She trailed off as Peter tightened his grip on her shoulder. "I'm babbling, sorry."

Hmm, I kind of liked this girl. She certainly wasn't too frightened to speak up, even in front of a red-eyed vampire. She was either very brave or very foolish, likely both. "No, child, tell me exactly what you've tried."

"I froze it, so he wouldn't be able to gulp and take too much at once. That helped, and he didn't throw up, but now he's not even keeping that down. He won't even try." She played a little with her hair, which made me want to smack her. This girl was showing signs that she could be a strong woman, if only she would give up being a helpless little girl.

I had been a helpless girl-woman once, nearly 500 years ago. I always told Jasper it had been 400, because it always pays for a woman to have a little mystery about her age, but 500 was closer to the real number.

Freezing the blood had been a good idea, but we were beyond that now. Jasper wouldn't take the blood because of its temperature and appearance. If I was going to get him to eat—and he desperately needed to—I had to get it as close to his natural source as possible. "Will you take human?"

His head turned once to the left, once to the right. No. He didn't even want to consider it. Fair enough. "Human girl! Get me some blood that he will accept! Something carnivorous, none of that thin little deer blood."

Peter's mate stood. "I'll get it."

Ah, yes, she wouldn't send Peter, who needed to be around to guard Jasper, but she wouldn't allow the human to go either. As though I would harm her. I wasn't hungry, and I knew better than to hunt humans within the Cullens' territory. I was here for Jasper, period. He was my responsibility. After all, I had created him.

"Maybe it's time for things to change. We were on the same side ten minutes ago. Why can't we be on the same side now?" Jasper's voice was almost a whisper.

I knew Jasper. As much as his family might not like to acknowledge or admit it, I knew him. I knew his voice, and his smell, and his moods, and, yes, I had known him sexually as well. I'd seen him at his best, commanding armies to victory, and at his worst, so weak he couldn't even stand.

But I'd never seen this before. The way he whispered, the turn of his head, even the cadence of his speech. None of that belonged to him. This time when I approached him, he didn't growl. He just looked at me, quiet and untrusting.

"Jasper?"

He blinked once, then again and his entire body shuddered. "Yes?"

"Why would you say that, _niño?_" I kept my voice calm and focused. "Who were you talking to?" I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn't.

"Sam." His eyes didn't quite connect to mine, even when I stood so he had to look right at me. "Talkin' to Sam."

"Who's Sam?" I didn't crowd him, but I didn't give him much room to move away, either. Jasper could be like a wisp of smoke when he felt like it, and just disappear.

"Who's Sam?" He echoed my words back, lost in his own mind. He didn't know; that much was obvious.

Even with my back to them, I knew that the three on the couch were watching me intently. It's the nature of a vampire to be suspicious and to always be looking for weakness in their leader. A weak leader was one who could be easily overthrown, and most vampires would leap at the opportunity.

They might not like to admit it, even to themselves, but a strong leader, even one who is at times cruel, is what most of them secretly crave. It's why most of them stay with me, year after year.

So I did nothing to reveal just how frightened I was starting to become. Instead I turned around briskly. "Well? Will you be getting some blood, or does the little human have to do it?" I sat back down, to emphasize how far below me they really were.

Abruptly Jasper's head swung to the side, focusing on the door. A split second later, I heard the same thing he did: the thundering feet of his family, coming home. The last thing I wanted was a fight with these Cullens, but I was more than willing to have one if it meant keeping helping my Jasper.

The leader (if he deserved to be called one, and that was under debate in my mind) was the first through the door, all puffed up from a recent fight. Our eyes met, and I read him in an instant. This was an old-fashioned man, and he wouldn't throw me out or be deliberately rude to me.

Sure enough, he forced a smile. "Hello, Maria."

"Greetings to you as well, Dr. Cullen." I even managed to not sound sarcastic when I called him _Doctor._ I would have found this family a fascinating study of insanity, had one of my own not been caught up in it.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Ah, yes, there was the midget. I didn't need Jasper's ability to feel the hate pouring off of her.

A part of me wanted to tell her that I was really no threat, but the deeper, more spiteful, part won out. My army wasn't what it had once been, not after losing Jasper, and I had lost out on a lot of battles. Waging one, even a petty mental one with a nearly toothless example of a vampire, was better than nothing. "I'm here to help your mate. I know exactly what's wrong with him, and how to fix it. But if you would rather I leave . . ." I stood up, as if I were going to do exactly that.

She visibly forced herself to calm down. "No. No, please stay."

There was another pang somewhere near my heart. I remembered what it was like to have a mate that you would do anything for, and I remembered what it was like to lose one. As much as I might despise these Cullens, I wouldn't force anyone else to suffer through what I had when I lost Ricky. Ricky. . . .

I pulled myself out of those thoughts. He had been gone for far longer than I'd ever had him, and he had no place in what was happening now. "I will. For Jasper. Now, is anyone going to get me some blood, or do I need to get it for myself?"

The gentleman host in Carlisle took over. "My apologies. We don't have human, but what else can I interest you in?"

"It's not for me. Jasper needs to eat if he's going to survive this, and you aren't helping."

"He's been very ill and isn't keeping anything down. If you have any suggestions about how to help, I would be glad to consider them."

Dr. Cullen was being overly formal, but I wasn't deterred. "I've dealt with many illnesses over the years. Now, the blood?" I needed to stay calm and collected.

"In the basement." Alice had perched on the arm of Jasper's chair, pulling his head to her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, earning a pleased rumble.

Again I had to fight down jealousy. There had been a time when that would have been me stroking his hair, a time when he would have purred for me, too. "So go get it."

"Why don't I show you where it is, so you can get it for yourself next time?" Her voice was saccharine sweet.

"Alice!" Carlisle sounded shocked. "Maria is a guest, and you will treat her with the same respect you would treat any other guest."

"But Carlisle, we have more important things to worry about! Besides, I'm sure that Maria doesn't want to make any trouble that might take attention away from Jasper, do you, Maria?" Now she was as innocent as a schoolgirl. Impressive. I've always appreciated a woman who isn't afraid to use her God-given wiles to get what she wants.

I saw an opportunity to both help myself and have a few moments alone with Alice. A short battle between two females was all well and good, but her words reminded me that Jasper needed both of us, and he was what was important now. "Alice is correct. If she would be so gracious as to show me where the blood is kept, I can get it myself the next time."

Now I had Jasper's mate trapped. She couldn't refuse me and she knew it, which led to a hiss I could barely hear. "Come on, then. Peter, watch him, please."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward had taken the little human into his arms, whispering words of love and making sure that I had done nothing to harm her. Fool. I recognize power, even in a human, and this girl would have more than most, should he ever decide to take a nibble.

I knew all about the Cullens' little human. Bella Swan, aged sixteen, daughter of Charlie Swan, chief of the Forks Police department, and Renee Swan, currently remarried to a minor league baseball player. Mated to one Edward Cullen, golden child and first-turned of Carlisle Cullen, head of the coven. Average student, though she was close to failing physical education. Several broken bones, including a severely broken leg last year. She had moved to Forks very recently, after being somewhat estranged from her father for several years.

If Peter thought that he was the only one capable of pumping Ruthie for information, he was very, very, wrong. I wasn't about to come here unprepared, and I had detailed biographies of each member of both the Cullen and Denali clans, as well as the human interloper.

I haven't lived this long by being foolish.

Alice stood brusquely. "Well, come on."

My feet were silent on the stairs, but she was making much more noise, almost stomping. She hated this, everything about this, and she hated me most of all. I waited until the heavy metal door was closed and we were down the stairs to speak.

"Alice." She turned, her eyes dark and dangerous. I made myself small. "I'm not a danger to you, and I'm not a danger to him."

"You're always a danger to him." She was hissing now, so angry she could barely speak. "You come here, reminding him of what he had, and what he could have again. You'll leave, and he'll want to go with you."

Ah, the insecurity of the young. "Of course he will. All vampires desire power and freedom. But he won't go. He'll stay because you're here, and his coven is here, and he loves all of you fiercely."

"I don't want him to stay just for me." She sounded sad. "I want him to stay because he wants to."

"He does. Look, _chica,_ Jasper will always be bound to me, because I created him. It's the same way Peter is bound to Jasper. You can't change it, and it won't do anyone any good to try. But you're his mate, and his tie to you is stronger than his tie to me. If he wanted the life I could offer him, he knows how to get home." It hurt to say it, but a vampire doesn't always, or even usually, stay with the one who turns him. Like human children, they grow up and move on.

Incidentally, that was one of the things that disturbed me about this coven. The younger vampires were continually infantilized by the older ones, never having a chance to branch out and create covens of their own. They would leave, but only for a set time, and always with the understanding that they'd be back. Didn't this Carlisle want his vampires to grow up and leave? When Jasper was this Emmett's age, he was already controlling hundreds of other vampires.

I chose to ignore the voice in the back of my mind that suggested that some of Jasper's problems now might be the result of having too much responsibility way too young. It was a different time, and he had been responsible for an army as a human as well. And, in the interest of honesty, most of the reason I was so determined to build a huge army and gain enough territory to live on was that I knew Jasper would leave me one day. I wasn't his mate, and our kind is constantly on the lookout for our other halves.

Had I known that he was going to end up with a perky dark-haired Barbie doll, I might have held on to him a little tighter. But love is blind, I guess. I stole another glance at Alice and gave myself a mental shake.

Love is _very_ blind.

"Would you take him back? If he were to show up tomorrow, would you let him come home?" Neither one of us had moved, both frozen in place by the enormity of what was happening here.

Her question required no thought at all. "Of course I would. He's one of mine, and mine are always welcome to come home." Provided I hadn't killed them, of course, but I knew better than to say that out loud. "Carlisle took your Edward back when he was ready to come home, didn't he?"

"How did you know about that?" She seemed shocked, like anyone could do anything in today's world without someone knowing. And one person knowing was as good as everyone knowing, at least if you knew the right people to ask about it.

"I asked the right people." Now was the time to get back to business. "Now, where is the blood?"

Her glare could have frozen fire, but I could handle it. What was the pouting of one little girl compared to three hundred feral newborns? "Some of it's in the freezer, some in the fridge."

Since she wasn't about to be a good hostess, I opened the fridge to reveal dozens of hanging bags, neatly labeled with the animal it came from. Deer, squirrel, rabbit, cow, pig: none of it good. If he wouldn't accept human, Jasper needed richer blood. "Is this all there is? Don't you have anything a little more . . . predatory?"

She poked through it and finally emerged with a single bag from the back. "I have grizzly. There's probably some mountain lion in the freezer that I can thaw out. He really likes mountain lion, but I think we used it all up trying to get him to eat before."

That was going to have to do. "That's fine. Now come on." As much as I wanted to tear this girl limb from limb and toss her into the fireplace, I had to play nice. This was Jasper's mate, and he would want her more than he wanted me. "Come on, I'll show you what to do."

I didn't bother to look back, knowing that she would follow me into the kitchen. Of course she would; she would do anything to help Jasper. So would I, which was what I couldn't get her to understand. "We're going to try and make this as appealing to him as possible. Bringing it up to body temperature should help."

For a minute, she just looked at me, but then she gave me a tight nod and started rummaging through the cabinets. Finally she pulled out a large mug with a smiley face on it. "This is his."

I emptied the blood back into it and set the microwave. The seconds ticked away, neither one of us having anything to say to the other. After forty-five seconds, the microwave dinged, and I took the mug out, taking an experimental sip.

The taste was nearly enough to make me ill, and only the fact that Jasper's mate was staring right at me prevented me from gagging. How any vampire, especially one raised on human, could drink this year after year was beyond me. As it was, I had to content myself with giving her an evil look. "This is the best you can provide him?"

"Yes." She didn't say anything else, so I pushed the mug towards her. "Here. Try and get him to eat."

I could have scripted what was about to happen, but I let her have control for now. She shot me a suspicious look, but took the mug back into the living room. Jasper cringed at the sight of it, but bravely held out a hand. That was the Major I knew. Sweet, loyal, and more than willing to suffer for the ones he loved.

Jasper tried, but couldn't manage more than a sip before he was pushing the mug back. "I don't want it."

Whether he wanted it or not, it was going down. It could either go down easily, which would be best, or I could force him if I had to, but that blood would be in his stomach before the hour was up. Jasper still had a chance to make it, since he'd fought it off so far, but he was getting rapidly weaker, and eventually he wouldn't be able to resist the call.

But there was no point in making a scene right now. Part of the issue was that we were being stared at by nearly a dozen other vampires and one human, and Jasper always hated being the center of attention. So I remained sympathetic. "All right, _niño._ Alice, perhaps he would like to lie down for a bit?"

Apparently she was less of a vapid airhead than I thought, because she got it right away. "Of course." She held out a hand to help him up, masking his weakness with an affectionate nuzzle. He nuzzled back, but he was watching me warily. We both knew that I wasn't going to give him a rest until he took the cup.

I nodded at him, just to let him know that nothing had changed. Despite our years together, he was not, and could never be, my equal. I was the alpha female, and he knew it.

No one said anything when I took the mug and followed them up, but then, I knew that they wouldn't. With the exception of Jasper, who was in no condition to fight me, and Peter and his mate, I was an unknown, and without a strong leader to look to, they were slow to respond to threats.

I swirled the mug, trying to keep the blood from coagulating. If Jasper was nauseated by it when it was fresh, he wasn't going to be able to stomach it once it started getting old and cooling down. "I'm going to warm this back up. Alice, get him into something comfortable."

She glared again, but she did start towards the dresser, pulling out a loose T-shirt and some pajama pants. I politely left at that point, although I had already seen everything there was to see with Jasper. My vampire senses allowed me to unerringly trace my way back to the kitchen, as well as eavesdrop on the conversations around the house.

Peter was on the verge of rushing upstairs to make sure Jasper still had all of his parts attached; Carlisle was attempting to regain order' Edward was fawning over his human mate, who rather sounded as if _she_ would like to be left alone; and Rosalie was fretting quietly about Jasper, with whom she seemed to have a special bond. The strange vampires chatted worriedly among themselves, clearly unsure of what they should be doing, or if they should be staying at all.

Had I been running this coven—and it wasn't that I didn't itch to—I would be doing things far differently. I would start by telling Peter to quit it, that Jasper was perfectly safe with me. I had never once hurt Jasper when it wasn't completely necessary. Then I would get control of my coven, using force if I had to. A few missing limbs was a small price to pay for order. Actually, I could use Peter as an example. Perfect, two problems solved right there.

Edward and Bella could be ignored, since I didn't interfere in small matters between mates. Rosalie required reassurance from her coven leader, but I was getting the impression that she didn't get it very often. I had a feeling that she was a prickly bitch, but Jasper could be just as standoffish. As far as the other vampires went, well, I might be an evil bitch, but at least I have manners. People with class would have introduced all the guests to each other.

But these were hardly normal circumstances. Jasper seemed happy with these vampires, which meant they had to have some redeeming qualities. He certainly could have ended up in much worse places.

The microwave dinged, and I took the mug. I didn't want to, but I cringed and lightly touched the tip of my tongue to the steaming liquid. Ugh, no wonder Jasper had gagged on it.

I took the mug back upstairs, not pausing before striding into the room. No matter what they were doing in there, I wasn't going to be embarrassed, and if _they_ were, too bad. I didn't have either the time or the inclination to play the blushing maiden.

The little vampire had managed to get him into bed, propped up against a small mountain of pillows. His eyes were locked on me, his jaw clenched shut and his expression somewhere between pleading and stubborn. I read him as easily as I could read myself in the mirror. He was pleading with me not to embarrass him in front of his mate by feeding him like a newborn. And if pleading didn't work (and it never had in the past, so there was no reason for him to think it would now—unlike him, I hadn't gone soft over the years), he was telling me that I couldn't force him to do anything.

I begged to differ. I would force him to do whatever I wanted him to, and he would do well to remember that. But I'd always liked it when he begged, so I was willing to offer him a chance to do this on his own. Considering that he was green before the smell of blood even hit him, I wasn't holding out much hope, but he would get the chance nonetheless. Let it never be said that I'm not a giver.

"Here you are: fresh, warm blood for your husband." I gave the mug to Alice, who held it to her husband's lips.

"Please, Jasper, drink."

Predictably, he gagged as soon as the mug touched him. Miserably, he turned his head away from the offending liquid. "I don't want it."

"Please?"

"Alice, no. It smells terrible and I'm not hungry and I don't want to eat. Just leave me alone." He sounded so weak that I did feel a stirring of pity. I clamped down on it hard, though. He had to eat; there was no getting around the fact.

His mate locked her creepy yellow eyes on me and nodded. Again, I felt a small pang of sympathy. I knew what it was like to look down at your mate and feel like there was no hope left. It had been true in my case, but it didn't have to be true in hers. "Watch what I do."

Not all vampires feed correctly right away. They all know how to kill, but usually they end up with blood everywhere but in their mouths. Most of them get it by the third or fourth hunt. But some don't, and require a little hand feeding. It's also a useful trick when an older vampire isn't willing or able to feed.

"Close your eyes, _niño_." Half of Jasper's problem was the anticipation of being ill, which was being triggered in large part by the sheer repulsiveness of seeing his food source reduced to a coagulating mass in a white porcelain cup.

He glared, but some part of him must have known how badly he needed this, because he reluctantly did so. I poured some of the still-warm blood into my cupped palm, then twisted so that the blood began to trickle down my arm. I then held my arm to Jasper, very nearly touching his lips to my skin. If I had timed this right, the blood would be going right over where my pulse point should have been and—

With a barely-there movement, Jasper licked my wrist, cleaning the blood off. I used my free hand to pour a little more into my palm, and he took that as well. For a vampire the movement was as reflexive as a human's knee jerking when tapped. In just a few seconds, I had gotten him to take more than his family had in days.

Alice didn't say anything, but she leaned forward, watching my movements as closely as possible. She rubbed Jasper's stomach with one gentle hand, trying to soothe the pain that he had to be feeling. I gave her an approving nod. Did she deserve someone like my Jasper? No. But whether I liked it or not, she had him, so it was good to see her handle him so tenderly.

The next few minutes passed in almost perfect silence. I poured the blood gently and steadily, and he drank everything. He couldn't help himself. Even without his sight, the hunter in him recognized a human form with blood on it as a meal to be consumed immediately. _"Bueno, niño."_

His eyes flickered open just long enough to shoot me a filthy look, then closed, his head turning away from me. There was a time when that would have earned him a quick, probably painful rebuke, but that time was over. Until he made the choice to return to me on his own, I had no right to discipline him. Yes, his current coven leader was incompetent, but that wasn't my problem. I would never turn my own creation away, though, which was why I was here. The fact that this was my Major, whom I loved more than most, also played a role.

I ran my fingers through his hair, something he had always enjoyed, and he didn't pull away. His mate didn't push me away, either, something I was grateful for. Since she has no connection to, or even knowledge of, her own creator, it would be easy for her to force Jasper away from his. But he needed both of us right now, and we had to put up with each other for his sake. I made my voice be as gentle as possible when I spoke to her. "If that stays down, we'll go down to the living room to talk."

Alice looked up. "So you know what's wrong with him?"

"Yes." I rubbed at his jaw with the backs of my fingers, and Jasper started purring for me. Good. Not only did it mean he was happy and comfortable, but the vibrations passing through his body would keep his stomach calmer.

"Will he live?" This time she whispered low enough that Jasper couldn't hear.

That was the sticking point. It was possible to survive this, but he was so weak right now. He had gone too long without proper nourishment, and things had already gone progressed so far. Then there were those wolves. They were the wild card in all this.

But I was a leader, and I had to remain confident at all times. "Yes. I believe Jasper will still live."

She visibly relaxed. "You know how to make him better."

"I do, but it will be easier said than done. We need to pull together right now, all of us. Every passing day lowers his chances."

"I'm not going to barf." Jasper never opened his eyes, but the relief that suddenly flooded the room was palpable. Alice looked at nothing for a few seconds, presumably double-checking with her talent. After a few seconds, she nodded and smiled, giving him a kiss.

Even as I mentally gagged at the image, I was thinking that her gift would prove a most interesting addition to my army. Between the two of them, I could create something far more powerful than I had ever been able to get on my own. If my Major ever came home, he needed to bring this girl with him.

"Would you like to come back downstairs, Jasper, or would you prefer to stay up here?" I didn't want to move him too much, especially with his stomach still being tender, but if there was one thing Jasper hated, it was not knowing what was happening around him.

"Go down."

We both reached to help him up, then both backed off at the same time. Briefly, I wondered if this was what the wife and the mother went through when a man got married. Neither of us was sure of our place in this strange situation.

While we looked at each other, Jasper rolled his eyes and got up under his own power. "I'm not that bad, you two."

Yet. As this continued to progress, he would lose more and more of his motor skills, including the ability to rise under his own power. But we could go over all that down in the living room, so I would only have to say it once.

By an unspoken agreement, we descended the stairs in a line, Jasper in the middle. If for any reason he collapsed, one of us would be able to get him before he hit the ground. He didn't, though, and soon we were all seated in the living room.

Rosalie fixed her eyes on me. "So? Do you know what's wrong with Jasper or not?"

Here was a strong woman, one who wasn't afraid to give offense or ask directly for what she wanted. So I addressed her directly, much to Carlisle's chagrin. "Yes, I know exactly what's wrong with him."

Then I started to explain what had happened and what we had to do from here on out.


	15. Chapter 15

**So, the big reveal! Believe it or not, this was the orginal idea, and the story grew up around it. Be honest, who guessed the truth?**

**Alice**

I kept Jasper tucked to my side, my arms a protective cage around his body. I would have liked to keep him in my lap, but I knew that that would humiliate him in front of the rest of the family, and there's no one more dignified than my Jasper. If Maria tried to take him, she would do it only by tearing my limbs straight off of my body.

He was soft against me, not quite limp, but without any of the tension that usually marked his body. Heat still radiated from his skin, though he didn't seem quite as warm as he had before. Despite his illness, though, his eyes were hard and focused on Maria with laser intensity. Nothing got by Jasper.

Seeing as everyone was assembled, Maria nodded and began her tale. "Jasper isn't ill as if with a virus, nor has he been poisoned in the traditional sense. Jasper's illness is the result of the direction of a very highly talented vampire."

Unnecessary breaths were sucked in all over the room. In general, a vampire's gifts were merely an extension of their dominant personality traits in life. Jasper had been a born leader, a charismatic man, and that had naturally led to his ability to read and manipulate emotions now. Emmett's gift was his massive strength, and mine my vague impressions of what could be.

I had never heard of a gift so blatantly malicious, though. Most gifts are ambiguous, just like the vampires who bear them. "How is that possible? A vampire who would develop a talent like that must be . . ."

"A bitch?" Maria gave a humorless laugh. "Of course she is."

Carlisle held up a hand. "Please, let's hold the poor language. Maria, could you possibly explain what you mean?"

We all looked at in incredulously. Was he really going to challenge the one vampire who could help us over the word 'bitch'?

Luckily, Maria just nodded and rolled her eyes. "Major, this story begins before your time, so you need to be paying attention as well. Perhaps you would like to come over and sit with me so you can hear better?" She patted the arm of the chair she was sitting in.

Jasper pressed against me, his eyes wide. Then he chuckled and relaxed, giving her a shy smile. She smiled back, and it was all I could do to prevent myself from leaping up and clawing the bitch's eyes out. How dare she speak to Jasper like that?

And yes, before you say it, I was well aware what a psycho that made me sound like. I should have been happy that he didn't wake up alone and terrified like I did. Maria had been right with what she said earlier. She and Jasper were bonded, and they always would be.

Talking to Charlotte, and seeing how Jasper interacted with his maker, gave me a much clearer picture of their relationship. There was not only a bond there, but actual love. It was twisted love, and unhealthy in the extreme for Jasper, but it was love all the same. I had just seen a private little joke between them, one of what was probably thousands of little things that I would never be a part of. For the first time in our time together, I felt like an intruder in Jasper's life.

But his body never shifted away from me, not even slightly. His head remained on my shoulder, the soft breaths fanning out over my collarbone and one arm holding tightly to mine. "I can hear from over here, thank you." His voice was soft and shy, more accented then I had ever heard it before. He was with her for less than an hour, and suddenly he was acting like a besotted newborn again.

"As you wish. This story starts back in 1427, when I was still a human girl. I was beautiful, and sweet, and all of those nauseating Hallmark images. I was also stubborn and brash, and very determined to live my own life. These days, the things I did would have been nothing shocking. Sneaking out at night, kissing a boy that I liked. In those days, the sort of behaviors I was engaging in got girls sent off to the convent. In my case, it got me sentenced to this life. Same old story—lonely, hormonal girl, handsome stranger who called for her in the dead of night, blah, blah, blah, three days later I woke up as a vampire."

Jasper's head popped up. "You're older than you said you were. If you were still human in 1427, that would make you—" His tone suggested that this was a personal insult to him.

"Silence, _niño._" Maria had the words out before he could complete that thought. "My age has no bearing on this story. My gift was not like yours, or those of most of the Cullen coven. I was, however, allowed to keep my bravery, and my determination. As you children would so crudely put it today, I had balls. I also had an understanding that if I wanted something, I would have to fight to get it, then fight even harder to keep it. These were the days before Benito and his armies, so I wasn't quite sure what I would need to do. So I watched and I waited, and, meanwhile, my creator taught me all about being a vampire, his own centuries of stored-up knowledge."

"Vincent." Jasper was here with us in the moment, but he was also somewhere else, somewhere that was a long time ago. It suddenly struck me that this was Maria's story, but in an odd way, it was his as well. He had come from her, and the venom of this Vincent flowed in his veins as much as it did hers. It also flowed through Peter and Charlotte, four generations of a vampire family tree.

She nodded. "Vincent. I'm surprised you would remember that."

"You aren't the only one who knows how to listen and store information for the future." His smile was gentle, showing the very tips of his teeth.

"Fair enough. Once I had learned everything there was to learn from Vincent, I set out on my own."

"You didn't want to stay with him?" This time it was Emmett who interrupted. Come on, guys, we could have Vampire History 101 another time. This was about Jasper and what had happened to him.

"No, I didn't. By then he had turned another woman, and I was ready to try life under my own rules. Don't look so surprised—it's what usually happens. I was successful on my own, and traveled extensively across Mexico and the lower US, which in many places was still uninhabited. Then the rumors started."

Jasper shifted, his body sending tendrils of excitement through mine. This was an exciting story to him, one he hadn't heard before. Trust me, when you've lived with someone as long as our family has been together, you don't get to hear very many brand-new stories. "About Benito."

"If you don't stop interrupting like a child, I will send you to bed like one and just tell the rest of the room." Her tone was rebuking, and he fell quickly into line. He was much more obedient to her than he was to Carlisle, but then, her methods of instilling that obedience had been much harsher as well.

When he quieted against me, she smiled at him, an almost maternal tenderness taking over her face. It was spooky. "But, yes, you are correct. Rumors about Benito and his armies.

"At the time we're speaking of, I knew that I was in no shape to make a challenge of my own. But I knew what to do. If I had an army of my own, I could be the one with the territory, which would gain me the power I needed. So I began evaluating humans, one at a time. That was when I discovered that I had another talent, one that would prove just as fortunate as my first. I was able to look at a human and discern whether or not they would make a powerful vampire. Not necessarily a gifted vampire, though that was part of it, but a vampire who would be useful in a fight. Even then, I knew what was coming, and what I was going to be."

My mate tensed against me, and I knew he wanted to ask another question, but he remembered being corrected before, so he kept his silence. "It started with Lucy. I guess there was a part of me that thought I would have an easier time controlling someone my own size, at least the first time. Lucy was . . . interesting." She trailed off there, lost in the memories. "Very talented for such a young girl. She was never lost. I could have asked her to walk my entire army to a remote mountain in Peru, and she could have done it without hesitation. But she was also very weak emotionally. Even once she was well past the newborn stage, she needed constant guidance and care. It really was quite irritating."

It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming that none of us cared about this part of the story. I wanted to know what was wrong with Jasper, and how we could fix him. Maria had said that he still had time, but not much, and the minutes were ticking away. I schooled my tone into a gentle curiosity. "What does that mean for Jasper?"

The crimson in her eyes seemed to darken. "Not a thing. At this point, Jasper was but a tiny baby, if he had been born at all." She looked at him. "_How _old were you when I turned you?"

Twenty. He had been twenty, and how could she not know that? Was he nothing but a number to her? I ignored the voice that said that of course he was a number to her. How many vampires had she turned over the years? 500? A thousand? More? Where exactly did Jasper fall in her affections? If the adoring look he was giving her right now was any indication, she was rather high in his. He looked like a puppy staring at its beloved master. Her eyes were gentle back, telling him that she loved him in a way that didn't need words.

"He was twenty." My voice could have frozen a nuclear bomb.

She wasn't noticeably disturbed. "Then he was a tiny baby. Anyway, he's not part of this story yet. I turned other vampires after Lucy, but they were all rather . . . disappointing, and needed to be disposed of. If I was going to have an army, it would be a very powerful one, and I could only control a limited number of vampires at a time. Therefore, I didn't keep mistakes. Then we met Nettie."

I remembered Jasper talking about Nettie as well, and none of what he said was flattering. Even now, over a century later, his muscles shuddered at the sound of her name.

"I almost didn't turn her at all. She had amazing potential, that much was obvious, but she was clearly unstable. And mean? _Dios mio,_ she was cruel. But I wanted power, and she would provide me some, so I turned her. At the time, I was confident in my ability to keep her under control." She shook her head. "Even at 350, I still had quite a bit to learn."

"So Nettie is the one who hurt Jasper." Now I was the one who was interrupting, but, for once, I didn't have the patience to wait.

"Yes. Nettie is the one who hurt Jasper." She looked rather irritated that I had stolen her thunder.

"But that isn't possible." Carlisle sounded completely confused. "Nettie has been dead for over a century. Jasper told us he destroyed her and Lucy both."

"Why yes, I believe that I was told the same story. Well, the Major lied to me and he lied to you. Didn't you, Jasper?" She shot a sour look over at Peter and Charlotte. "It's not like he's ever told a tall tale about destroying other vampires before."

I didn't need to see Jasper's face to know she was telling the truth. His head dropped down, tucking into my shoulder, and his muscles went tense. Instead of killing them, he had turned a pair of monsters loose.

"Yeah, I did that." He whispered softly. "They were hurting, and they were scared and I couldn't make myself do it." From my vantage point, I could barely see his eyelashes flutter with nerves. "I got better at it, though. I never did it again until Peter and Charlotte."

It hurt to hear how pleading his voice was, begging Maria to believe and forgive him. Jasper was always so tough, not really needing or even caring for most people, and it was hard to see him act like a penitent child.

"Thanks for that one, dude." Peter spoke up in a happy chirp, even though his good humor went nowhere near his eyes. If anything, he and Charlotte had far more reason to fear Maria than anyone. But his love for Jasper outweighed his terror of his creator. "I still totally owe you for that."

"I still don't understand what is happening here. What exactly was Nettie's gift?" Carlisle was trying to regain control of the situation.

She sighed heavily. "If everyone would quit interrupting me, I would have a much easier time explaining all of this. I've traveled several hours to save the life of a vampire who abandoned me when I needed him desperately. Is it too much to ask that I have fifteen minutes to tell the story without interruptions?"

"No, I do apologize. Please, explain what happened."

"At first, I didn't realize what Nettie's talent was. She wasn't able to use it against me, thankfully, and she was very good at hiding it. Smart girl." The pride in her voice made my skin crawl. Jasper had told me over and over how different life in the South was, but it wasn't until this moment that I truly understood.

"Lucy and Nettie were my seconds in command, which worked out beautifully. After all, what man could resist a trio of delicate ladies, all alone with no one to protect their lives and virtue? They came right to us, no extra coaxing required. If I sensed they might be talented, I turned them. If not, we fed well.

"Of course, there were still problems. Since Lucy was all but useless when it came to controlling a newborn, it was just Nettie and I. Newborns require a lot of time and effort, so we could only have two at a time, and it tended to work better with one. The ones I left Nettie alone with too much tended to become a little . . . strange."

I had to bite my lips together to keep from blurting out more questions. Maria shook her head. "They developed some very odd symptoms. Vomiting, dizziness, weakness, hallucinations. Then, one by one, they turned on Lucy and me."

My breath caught. Was that what would happen to Jasper? He would turn on the family that loved him so much? Everyone else leaned forward, trying (and failing) not to look suspiciously at Jasper. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward gather Bella into his lap.

"Now, I know that none of you think I'm very bright, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that they never turned on Nettie, just Lucy and I. So I waited and I watched. Sure enough, the newborns became ill in every single case after spending extended time alone with Nettie."

She shook her head. "I should have just destroyed her, but I didn't. At that point, I still had far too much pity to make a good leader. I wouldn't make the same mistake today."

Pity was a good thing for a leader to have! After all, look at Carlisle. It was pity, thinly disguised as compassion, that let him take in Jasper and me. No other leader would have been as welcoming, or as patient with Jasper's eccentricities. It was his pity that took Edward back after he left, and pity that kept Bella alive after she discovered our secret.

But Carlisle lived in a different world than the one Jasper had come from, and the one Maria currently inhabited. I could see how, in a war zone, pity could get you killed, or even worse.

"I did let her know that I was on to her, though. That was a particularly ugly fight, but, without being able to use her power on me, I was able to subdue her fairly easily." Suddenly her head snapped around. "Yes human? Do you want to speak to me, or are you just squirming like that because you need the toilet?"

Bella flushed bright red, usually not a good thing when you're in a room full of vampires. But everyone was too engrossed in the story to pay any attention to her. Everyone except Maria, apparently. "No, I don't need the bathroom. You said that Nettie's power didn't work on you, but it did on the newborns. How come she didn't hurt Lucy?"

Did that really matter? Maybe it did, though, because Maria was nodding. "Good catch. Nettie was always fond of Lucy, though I never knew why. So, while I'm sure she was capable of doing harm to her, she never did. When Jasper released them, they went together, where they apparently dropped off the face of the planet. Until now."

The way she said that sent shivers up and down my back. But she kept going. "But we haven't gotten to that part of the story yet. We are, however, at the part where you will probably all get interested. 1863, Texas. Lucy, Nettie, and I happened to come across a rather dashing major of the confederate army. Poor little thing was all alone."

I had heard this story from Jasper, of course, but I couldn't help being fascinated hearing it from her, as well. Jasper's past was still shrouded in mystery to me, and sometimes even to him, and it was nice to hear what someone else had seen. I tightened my hold on Jasper, who stared grimly at his maker.

"Alone, but what a gentleman. So kind, willing to stop for three stranded women on the side of the road. And so very, very, talented. Poor bastard didn't know what hit him."

This was the part of the story that Jasper always skipped, and I noticed that Maria skipped it as well. Had something gone wrong during Jasper's change? Perhaps she was simply being kind in not making him relive it. "Three days later, Jasper joined the family. During that time, I made it very clear to Nettie that if she was to harm him, I would do something to her that was so terrible she would bear the scars of it until the next eternity.

"She did obey me, though I'm sure it galled her to no end. But I had been right about Jasper, which helped a lot. He was immensely talented, even as a newborn, and that talent only grew as he aged. By the time his newborn year was out, he was able to control ten newborns, instead of just one or two. There were always failures, which meant that there were always plenty of vampires for Nettie to practice on as well. So I always felt that Jasper was reasonably safe with her, since he was providing her with plenty of newborns to torment. It wasn't an ideal situation, but I would have much rather kept Nettie where I could see her.

"I'm sure she thought that the matter was settled between us, but a woman never forgets, and she certainly never forgives. Some of those newborns that she destroyed could have made excellent fighters given the chance, and I could have had my army far quicker. So, while Jasper was training and shoring up my army, I was trying to figure out how to take care of her, once and for all. I was somewhat afraid that if I just went after her, she would be able to fight back. Patience is a virtue, after all."

Jasper squinted. "You didn't do anything about her. You made me do it! You always made me do everything."

"After much thought, I decided that having you do it was the best option. You were stronger than me, quicker, and able to use your gift to incapacitate them if anything were to go wrong. Plus, they both trusted you and didn't take you seriously as a threat. To them, you were barely older then a newborn, and not very intelligent to boot. It's called delegation of responsibilities, and it's the mark of a good leader."

"I have a question." Carlisle was speaking respectfully, but I could tell that it was hard on him.

"Ask, but I reserve the right to refuse to answer." Maria had all the power here, something that she was absolutely relishing. God, it made me want to claw her eyeballs out. If she had made even the tiniest move towards Jasper, I might have. But she kept her distance.

"Why destroy Lucy as well? It seems to me that she was an innocent bystander in this." That was Carlisle, always championing the underdog.

Maria gave Jasper a look. "Is he for real?" He nodded without expression, and she rolled her eyes. "None of us were innocent bystanders, including Jasper here. I know that this is hard for you to believe, but I actually did consider keeping Lucy . . . but I thought that it would be far kinder to let them go together. They had become rather . . . unhealthily attached to each other. Codependent, if you will. The core of the army was Jasper and me, and I didn't have the time to coddle her like she needed. And Jasper was afraid of her, so he was no good. It made me sad, especially since her talent was so useful, but it had to be done. So I told them to take Jasper scouting and made it clear to him that he was to return alone." This time Jasper got the dirty look. "Perhaps I should have made it clear that by 'alone,' I actually meant 'kill them,' not 'let them go.'"

"No, I got it the first time." Jasper was starting to become restless again, telling me that his joints were hurting. Why couldn't we hurry this up and get him better? "You know, it's very . . . strange for me to see you making those air quote things. The last time I saw you, it was hoop skirts and corsets."

"And the last time I saw you, you were still acting like a man, and not a teenager. A vampire who can't adapt, can't survive. You know that as well as I do. We're both different than we were."

He nodded. "I'm _better_ than I was. Most of the time, at least. You aren't exactly seeing me at my best, since I'm sick, but I am a better person."

"I know. You're . . . you're doing very well here, Jasper. You seem happy, and these vampires certainly love you. I'm pleased to see that you've found your place." Each word was clearly painful for her, but she said them anyway.

Jasper doesn't talk much about his days with Maria, even to me. I know that things weren't always bad for him there, because they couldn't have been. But to hear Maria, who had every reason to want Jasper with her, say that she wanted him here, made me feel a little better.

"I _am_ happy here." He pressed back against me, his head lolling back. I ran my fingers through his hair.

And just like that, the subject was totally closed between them. Jasper would stay with us, period. She wouldn't ask him to leave with her, because she knew that his choice had been made. The tension in the room dropped noticeably, though that could have all been from Jasper relaxing. Usually he didn't project like this, but his control had slipped since he'd been ill.

"So, this Nettie chick is the reason that Jasper's so sick? Well, how do we fix him?" Emmett drove right to the heart of the matter.

For the first time since she arrived, Maria seemed uncertain. "It's not as easy as all that. I know about Nettie's gift, and the problems it can cause, but I have no idea how to stop her. It may not be possible to do so." Jasper tensed up in my arms, his eyes going wide. Maria noticed and backtracked hurriedly. "Or it might be as simple as finding her and convincing her to back off of him."

Everyone started talking at once, their voices turning into nothing but an indistinct blur of syllables. I couldn't lose Jasper. If he died, I would follow him before the next sunrise. Period. If there was no Jasper, there was no Alice.

"What about the wolves?" Bella spoke timidly, her tiny voice cutting through everyone else's.

We all fell silent. Maria turned to Bella, her eyes furious. "What was that, human? There are wolves involved in this?"

For the first time, Bella seemed to truly realize the danger Maria represented to her. She withered against Edward, her voice going stuttery and scared. "N-not _wolves_ wolves. Shape shifters. Jasper knows them. He's taking to them. Or through them. Or they're talking through him." That seemed to derail her train of thought and she stopped, looking desperately around for one of us to explain.

I probably should have been the one to do it, but I couldn't make myself speak. My every thought was consumed with Jasper, and the desperate need to keep him close to me. He was shivering now, tiny tremors that raced across his skin. I couldn't tell if it was the result of his illness, or he was just nervous.

Luckily, Carlisle was there to explain. I listened with half an ear as he briefly went over the wolves, and the treaty, and the meeting that had just happened and almost entirely been bumped out of our minds. We could still end up needing the wolves, but they would likely never trust being within a hundred yards of us again.

Jasper turned so his lips were against my ear. "I didn't know that Lucy and Nettie thought that I was stupid."

_That_ was what he was taking away from this? We finally had an idea of what was wrong with him and he had his feelings hurt about something that had happened a century before? But he was already agitated, and I didn't want to make things worse. So I whispered back, "You're not."

Maria's jaw was hanging open by the time Carlisle finished. But the general in her rallied as she visibly shook herself off. "That is quite possibly the most disturbing and fascinating thing I've heard in several decades. Can you imagine the terror that giant wolves would be capable of inciting in an enemy?" For a second her eyes were distant, and I knew that she was imagining her army with at least a pair of wolves at the head. It was a chilling reminder of exactly how different our lives really were. "But that's neither here nor there. We need to locate Nettie, and probably Lucy as well, and go from there."

"How do we do that?" Peter spoke quietly, his eyes missing nothing.

She rolled her eyes. "Patience. Nettie's gift, if I understand it correctly, isn't exactly to make Jasper ill. His illness is a side effect. What her gift actually does is call him to her. If he resists, it makes things very . . . unpleasant for him."

Jasper snorted softly. "An understatement."

Maria chose to ignore that. "In short, Jasper is ill because he's fighting her so hard. Had he just given in the first, or even third, time she called, it would have all ended. I always told you that your hard head would cause you trouble one day."

"Jasper never gives in." Emmett sounded proud. "No matter what, my brother keeps fighting."

"I know. There's no need for us to look for Nettie, because she's already looking for Jasper. All we need to do is wait for her to call again, then let Jasper go to her. We can follow him."

"No." I wasn't going to let Jasper leave the safety of the house when he was so ill. He was too weak to be used as someone's bait. "There has to be another way. Anything." My voice was verging on hysteria now, but there had to be some other option. Jasper had suffered so much already, and with barely a peep of complaint. Why couldn't things be easy for him, just this once?

"Then think of one." Maria's voice was gentle, and I saw my own fears reflected in her red eyes. Despite the confident way she had put it forward, she didn't like this plan any more than I did. I couldn't be sure, but I thought that she wanted Jasper kept as safe as I did. "Because I don't see any options."

With as many vampire brains as were in this room, plus Bella's for a different perspective, someone should have been able to come up with something. But there was nothing. A search had been tried and failed, and Maria was afraid to let Nettie know that she was in the area, since it might provoke her to do something rash. Suggestion after suggestion after suggestion was thrown out, from taking Jasper and fleeing Forks to get out of her range (not possible once Nettie had locked on a victim, according to Maria), to setting a trap ("How? That girl didn't survive this long by being an idiot. She'd sniff you out before you were done laying it"), to sending a message to try and barter for peace (Maria didn't even bother dignifying Carlisle's suggestion with a response.)

"Why is she doing this now?" Again, Bella was having the thoughts and asking the questions that the rest of us weren't. "I mean, it's been a long time since he was supposed to kill them, right? Why is she trying to hurt him now?"

No one moved. That was a good question, but I didn't have an answer for it, and if Jasper did, he wasn't sharing. Carlisle pushed gently. "Jasper? Son? Is there something you want to tell us? Maybe you saw them recently and just didn't say anything?"

Jasper shook his head. "No. The last time I saw Lucy and Nettie was the day I let them go. I swear, Carlisle, I didn't see them. Please believe me."

For some reason, Jasper always feels like Carlisle doesn't trust him, which isn't true. True, he sometimes gets restricted from doing things that Carlisle feels might be a little overwhelming for him, but it's not personal. It was a long time before Edward was allowed to help at the hospital, and Rose still isn't either. Emmett actually has more restrictions than Jasper, because Emmett is sometimes immature and gets into more trouble than Jasper had ever dreamed of.

"Of course I believe you." Carlisle was doing his best to be soothing. "But Bella's right, something must have changed. Have you maybe felt like someone's been watching you lately? Or has anything been different?"

My mate's agitation eased some. "No. It's all been the same as always. Bella comes over and I leave so I don't bother her."

"You don't bother me!" Bella sounded totally put out. "Who told you that you being around bothered me?"

"No one." Jasper's voice had taken on that stubborn quality that meant that subject was closed with him.

He was telling the truth, technically. No one in the family had actually come out and told Jasper to leave Bella alone. They were all very gentle about it, but Jasper had to hear it over and over. _Jasper, be careful around Bella. You know how clumsy she is. Jasper, please make sure you hunt before Bella gets here. We don't want any accidents. Jasper, dude, you want to do something else while Bella's here? I know that her smell bothers you. Jasper! Edward brought his pet human over and I don't want to deal with listening to it. Come on, we're going shopping for parts._

Small wonder it gave him the impression that Bella didn't want him around, but was too polite to tell him that.

"Then I don't understand why . . . you know what? We'll deal with it later, when you're better. Let's get back to why Nettie's pissed with you now."

"I don't know." His voice broke a little with frustration. "All I was trying to do was be nice and let them go, and look where it got me. I should have just killed them when I had the chance."

That wasn't true. The fact that Jasper had been able to find mercy in that hellhole and let them go was one of the things that I loved best about him. The fact that he had suffered so much, even at their hands, and still managed to let them go meant as much to me in terms of compassion as all of Carlisle's work at the hospital. Because Jasper had had a choice, and no one would have known if he had chosen cruelty, and he had been gentle anyway.

"Don't worry, dude. At least we know what's going on now. I mean, all we have to do is be chill for a while, and let the babe do all the work. It'll be just like when we used to go to the midway when we were on the east coast. Remember?" Emmett held up a fist, and Jasper weakly raised his in response.

Going to the midway had been Emmett's contribution to us trying to socialize Jasper when he and I both showed up. It backed up to several miles of woods, giving them an easy escape, and, more importantly, it was fun. The main emotions from the people were happy ones, which always helped Jasper's mood. It was actually really sweet, and it had helped a lot.

So there was nothing to do but wait. I held Jasper as close as I could, feeling his breaths against my neck. He was trembling again, so I knew he was in pain, but didn't want to show it. How long could I possibly be expected to wait when it was clear that Jasper didn't have much time left?

But I had to. Jasper was just going to have to hold on. He could do it. He was strong and able to do it, right?

Right?


	16. Chapter 16

**Jasper**

I didn't think I could hold on. I was trying really hard, because my family expected it of me, and I was tired of failing them, but I was at the end of my strength. Chills raced up and down my body, making it shake convulsively. For the past century and a half, I had never been cold, and I didn't like revisiting that feeling now.

Poor Alice was doing everything she could to make me comfortable, but it still wasn't enough. If she covered me up with a blanket, I was too hot, burningly so. If she tried wiping my face and neck with a cool washcloth, I was too cold. Sometimes I was swinging from one to the other so quickly I didn't even have a chance to tell Alice what was wrong.

Everything hurt and I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted everyone, including Alice, to leave the house and just give me a goddamn hour in which I didn't have to sit here and listen to them coo and fuss, or offer medical treatments that we all knew weren't going to work, or try to force-feed me blood that was only going to upset my stomach anyway. Even fifteen minutes away from their worry and fear would do me good.

But I couldn't tell them that, especially Carlisle. Alice would understand my snapping, and I had already yelled at Maria yesterday, earning myself a quick pop around the ear. (Oddly, it had been a fairly comforting smack. At least I knew that some things would stay the same, and no matter how sick I got, I could count on her to deliver the discipline).

Carlisle would probably understand, too. I'm sure he gets yelled at all the time at the hospital, since sick humans can be as crabby as sick vampires, but I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. He really tried not to be, and he certainly never acted like he was, but it's not hard to read his emotions. Most of the time I enjoy my gift, but there are certainly times that I wish it came with an off switch.

He's such a good leader and father to us, and I really, really want to impress him with how well I can do. I've always been able to impress my superiors, which has helped me get ahead in both my human and my vampire life. Beyond that, being important to those in charge mean that there was no reason for anyone to try and get rid of me. Maria hadn't always liked me, and she certainly hadn't always trusted me, but I had been able to make myself indispensable to her, which kept me alive. If I couldn't impress Carlisle, what reason did he have to keep me around?

The problem was, my usual repertoire of tricks wasn't going to cut it this time. I was capable of controlling an entire army of vampires, but there were only seven of us here. I had no trouble running hundreds of miles to monitor our territory's boundary lines, but we had no territory to speak of, and there were cars for that anyway. I wasn't as gifted as Edward, or as outgoing as Emmett, or as loving as Esme. I had nothing to offer him.

To his credit, Carlisle doesn't ask for much from any of us. The rub was that the one thing he did ask was the one thing that I had a really hard time giving him. He just wanted me to quit feeding off of humans. Simple in premise, nearly impossible in practice.

It would have been easier if he had just allowed me to stay away from them entirely. I had very little interest even in interacting with other vampires at this point. I had a small family, and that was enough for me. My interest in interacting with humans? Zero. The others could stay home, and I would be happy to help Esme take care of the house. I wasn't too macho to clean or tend a garden. In fact, I was good at both of those things. The thought of leaving Alice to attend school on her own hurt, but I knew that the rest of the family would take good care of her.

If Carlisle insisted on me learning, I could have even done that. I could have studied on my own, or even taken a correspondence course if he wanted to force the issue. Personally, I hadn't seen much of a point to it, since I could already read, write, and do all of my sums, but I would do anything to please Carlisle. There had certainly been plenty of human history occurring since I had been turned, things that I knew nothing about.

But that wasn't good enough for him. If he wanted to pass us off as teenagers, then we needed to play the part by going to school. And that we included me as well.

The first few years, I was allowed to stay home, which helped a lot. I was conditioned to avoid humans at all costs, unless I was feeding or had been sent to turn a specific human. Even seeing them from the safety of a vehicle and knowing that they could see me felt overwhelming and wrong. The emotions of a human are different than those of a vampire. They were less complex, but they were also less predictable, and I just couldn't cope.

But I was determined then to make him proud, as I was now, and I worked until I could go on simple outings without drawing attention to my odd behavior. Carlisle was pleased, which did make me feel good, but it also came with a downside. Once he saw that I could make progress and earn more trust around the humans, he became convinced that I would be ready to start school the following fall.

It didn't go well. Actually, that was an understatement. Teenagers aren't like adults. Actually, I'm not one hundred percent convinced that they're even human. Lust, anger, worry, lust, spite, lust, joy, and did I mention lust? Granted, it's been a very long time since my own teenage years, but I don't recall being anywhere near that obsessed with sexual acts. Every time one of my brothers or I entered the room, every girl (and some of the boys) would start to swoon.

Even though I was only supposed to be attending for half days, I couldn't even handle that. For a vampire who was used to being the boss of hundreds, it was beyond humiliating to have to call Esme at ten in the morning to come pick me up because I was so overstimulated that I was on the verge of causing a massacre. To this day I have no idea what sort of lies he told the teachers about me, but no one ever said anything about it. Today that wouldn't be surprising, but back then it was considered just fine for a teacher to call out and humiliate a student that was having problems or couldn't keep up academically.

Neither one of us gave up, though. I think that Carlisle genuinely believed in me, and that I could do anything I wanted if I would try hard enough, no matter how against my nature it went. I was just too stubborn to admit defeat.

In the end (and if I was being honest, the end came after nearly a decade and two moves cross-country), I was able to pull it off. The first day I made it all the way through, Carlisle had taken me and only me for a special hunt in Canada. Feeling the pride emanating off of him made all of the struggle worth it.

It also made me even more desperate to please him and never let him feel disappointed in me again.

Which brought me right back to where I started, miserable and wanting to scream at both Carlisle and Alice to just leave me the fuck alone but unable to actually make myself do it. Edward knew how I felt, but he was kind enough to keep that knowledge to himself. He's actually a pretty good brother when he's not driving us batty with his self-loathing.

I rolled over to my side, trying to find a cool spot on the pillow. Why did I have to hurt so much? And where was stupid old Nettie now? The bitch couldn't leave me alone a week ago, but now that we wanted her to try and get me, she was conspicuously silent.

Hushed voices spoke in the doorway, but I had no trouble distinguishing the words. Maria was telling Alice to go hunt and Alice was just as vehemently informing her that she would do no such thing. My sense of time had become very distorted, but I was pretty sure that Maria was right and it had been way too long for my girl.

The problem was telling her that. My stomach was rolling and I was afraid that opening my mouth might cause the blood I had taken a few hours ago to make a sudden reappearance. Not to mention that normal speech made my head ache, so raising my voice at all would probably make it worse.

"Hey." The voice came from the opposite direction of Alice and Maria and I jolted, nearly coming off the bed. How long had that stranger been in here?

Except the stranger was only Bella, and she was coming from the bathroom attached to Alice's and my bedroom. Once I saw her, I remembered that she had been here all along, getting some water and a damp cloth.

She seemed to have entirely lost her fear of me, because she didn't hesitate to lay a hand on my forehead. She was also polite enough not to mention the way she had startled me, which made me like her a little more. "Do you want a little water?"

I nodded, and struggled into a sitting position. Bella let me take the glass, but kept her hand on it as well, supporting it so I wouldn't spill on the blankets.

Once I had taken a few small sips, my stomach relaxed a bit. She set the glass on the nightstand and wiped my face with the washcloth. "I wish I could do something else."

Actually, she wasn't doing half bad. Her emotions were genuinely kind and tender, and that helped. Plus, the rhythm of her heartbeat was very lulling. It almost made my eyes want to close again, but I forced them to stay open. I had spent too much time unconscious in the past few days.

I think that she could tell that I was grateful, but my continued silence, not to mention the fighting in the hall, got to her eventually, and she made an excuse to leave. Then I was alone, just me and the stain on the ceiling. It took about thirty seconds for me to determine that, much as I had thought I wanted it, I didn't really want to be left alone.

My mate and my creator were just ten feet away, and I was too ill to call for either one of them. Miserable and scared, I whined loudly, the sound pure animal and pure pain. They both rushed to my side. Alice was horrified, having never heard me do that before. Maria, who was far more used to noises of pain and misery, especially mine, was just checking in to see if I needed something.

Soft hands rested on my face. "Jazz? Baby, I'm here. Tell me what's wrong."

"Hurts." The word came out on another pitiful whine. Dear God, I had become pathetic. "Alice." Each word felt like it took all of my energy, and I had to force myself to speak in tiny bursts. "Go. Hunt."

"Absolutely not! You need me to be here with you. There's plenty of blood in the freezer, and Carlisle's going to get more of the predator blood delivered soon. It's all right, Jasper, I'm fine."

"No." That once came out a little too loud, and I had to wait for the black spots to clear out of my vision before I could keep going. "Hunt. Be strong." The words barely made sense in my own troubled mind, and I knew that they wouldn't make any sense at all to her.

"He's right." Carlisle was back, bringing more instruments of torture, I was sure. "Alice, you need to hunt, preferably something predatory. We all need to be as strong as possible for the confrontation that's coming. Don't worry, we'll keep Jasper safe."

Disappointment flowed from her, but there was a resolve underneath it. "Maria? You'll take care of him, right?"

I found it interesting that she chose Maria over Carlisle. Maybe she was realizing that the two of them shared a common goal in protecting me, no matter how much they hated each other.

"Of course. I always take care of my own." The bed dipped as she sat down. "Let me know if there's anything worth hunting in these woods." Her voice was flippant, but I understood what she wasn't saying. When she was here with us, she would eat animal, just as we did. Peter and Charlotte did that as well, but it meant a lot to me that Maria would do it.

It would have meant more if I wasn't trying so hard not to vomit, but I was willing to accept what I was given.

Alice kissed my forehead. "I'm going, but I'll be back as soon as I can, all right? I'll try and bring you back something nice."

If it was blood of any sort, including human, I didn't want it. "Okay. I love you." It came out needy and pitiful, just begging for her to return the words.

"I love you, too, baby." She kissed the spot over my eye, then the corner of my mouth, then rubbed her nose against mine, just how I liked it. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you."

I was more worried about wild vampires, but I appreciated the sentiment. "Come back soon?"

"As soon as I can." She vanished in a rapid patter of tiny footsteps.

Carlisle tried to step in. "Okay, Jasper, are you ready for your tests?"

God, no. His tests were bothersome at best, downright painful at worst. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed he would think that I had passed out.

"I know you don't want to do this, son."

"Why should he have to?" Maria's fingers ran through my hair. Her fingernails were short and her fingers strong, so unlike Alice's carefully manicured nails. But they were soothing. "What are these tests going to accomplish?"

I cracked one eye, curious about where this was going. Carlisle looked taken aback. "The tests are going to show me where Jasper's weaknesses are, and what changes he's undergone since last time."

She was unmoved. "His weaknesses are everywhere, and only getting worse. You're torturing him for no reason."

I could tell that Carlisle was trying to stay calm, but I could also tell that Maria had scored a heavy point. "Jasper? Am I hurting you?"

I was torn between my desire to please him and the truth. I just stared at him, but he must have been able to read the truth in my eyes. "You should have said something. I'm sorry, Jasper, I thought that the tests would show something."

"S'okay." I wanted to make him feel better, so I forced myself to smile weakly. "Maybe you could just do the nonpainful ones?"

All of them were painful to some degree, since it hurt me to move, breathe or talk, but some were a lot worse than others. I could tough my way through at least a few of them.

"How about we wait until later? Maria is correct; now that we know what's wrong with you, there's no reason to keep pushing things." He patted my shoulder. "Do you need or want anything?"

"No, sir." Carlisle hated it when I addressed him as 'sir.' He wanted me to accept them as family, and he felt like me using that term was how I kept them at a distance.

It wasn't. I was a good Southern boy who had been raised with good Southern manners. All elders were 'sir' and 'ma'am,' because that was how you showed them respect. Had Carlisle been my biological father, I'd have addressed him the same way.

Since I knew that he didn't like it, I tried to remember not to do that to Carlisle, though. Usually I did well, but everything was so confused right now. "I mean, no, Carlisle."

Pity poured off of him. "That's fine, Jasper. Do you want me to stay, or would you rather rest for a bit?"

"Rest, please." Maria would stay, I knew that for sure.

"Call me if you need me." His hand touched my shoulder briefly, forging a tiny connection through which I could feel his love.

"Yeah." I was so tired I couldn't even make myself use the correct word rather than slang.

Maria waited until the door clicked shut to speak. "You wouldn't have allowed me to do that to you. Why didn't you just tell him he was hurting you?"

Easy for her to say. Maria lived by the old code. I was hers, almost like property, because she had turned me. By that same token, she could destroy me at will. But, if she chose to keep me (and that was always a big 'if' with her), she had responsibilities to me that couldn't be shirked. It was the reason she was here right now, instead of back in Texas, taking care of her latest batch of newborns.

Carlisle was under no such obligation to keep me. Which was why I had to try so hard to please him. It wasn't just because I liked him, even though I would have laid down my life for him, no questions asked. It was because I had to ensure there would be a place for me tomorrow, and next week, and a century from now. This was Alice's home, which meant it was my home by default, so I had to be positive that he would be pleased enough to keep me.

"I would have, if you hadn't interrupted." I had no idea why I was even saying it, since she knew I was lying before the first word was done.

Sure enough, she gave me a Look. You know the kind I mean. "Don't think that just because you're ill I won't put you in your place."

"Yes, Maria." I closed my eyes. "I'd like to rest now." Hopefully she would get the message and not make me beg her to stay with me.

"Good. You need to try and keep your strength up too, niño. Would you like a lullaby?"

_"Por favor."_ I was surprised to hear the Spanish come out of my mouth. In the old days, she and I had talked to each other almost entirely in the language, but I had very little call to use it now. I chose it as an elective frequently, since I like the language, but I don't speak in class unless I'm forced to, so it may have been a year or longer since I had spoken those words.

All vampires can sing, but I had always believed that Maria had something special. It was a stunning soprano, and I let my eyes close. My maker would gladly fight to the death for me right now. Add in the fact that the rest of the family was waiting, and I felt like I had a chance at beating this thing.

No, there was no 'thing' at all, was there? I had to keep that in mind. There was only a _her_. Nettie.

I honestly wasn't sure when I'd last thought of either her or Lucy. It hadn't been very long that the four of us were together, not really. My perception of time when I had been with Maria had been skewed, but it couldn't have been longer than a half century total. I had tried to reconstruct those years, based on my memories and careful backtracking through copies of newspapers from the cities I had been near to at any given time. It was hard, and ultimately unrewarding, work, and something that I had all but given up on sorting out completely.

Most of that time, though, it had just been Maria, me, and a revolving door of newborns. So the actual time I had spent in the company of Lucy and Nettie wouldn't have been much more than ten or fifteen years.

The fact that I don't think about them often doesn't mean that I don't remember them well, though. A vampire's memory is long and clear, and I remembered them as imposing figures whom I could never trust, not even for a second. Everything about them was identical. Their coloring, their emotions, and yes, their cruelty. At times they seemed like one woman who had been split into two bodies, just to make it easier for them to sneak up on and terrorize me.

I know that Maria considered Nettie to be the dangerous one and Lucy to be the spineless follower, but I knew better. They were both disturbed, and both of them enjoyed trapping me away from Maria so they could do whatever they wanted to me.

Actually, I considered Lucy to be the far more dangerous, because Lucy was crazy. Not just cruel like Nettie, but actually out of touch with reality a lot of the time. At least Nettie could be restrained by fear of Maria and the consequences she might dole out. When Lucy was crazy, there was nothing to keep her from hurting or even killing me. At those times, I also knew that Nettie would do nothing to help me. If it came down to it, she could claim that she had no idea what Lucy was about to do until it was too late, and I would be too dead to contradict that story.

It was one of the things that fed their twisted relationship. When Lucy was crazy, Lucy was creative, and there was nothing Nettie liked more than the absolutely disgusting things that she could come up with to do to humans or, later, some of the less fortunate newborns. And if _I_ was horrified by what I saw happen, let's just say it was really, really bad.

Oddly, her insanity might well be what had saved my own life. Since I was afraid of both of them, I refused to leave Maria's sight unless I absolutely had to. It wasn't terribly difficult, considering that I was already sharing her bed, which helped a lot. My constantly being underfoot allowed her to see how my gift could be used to further her cause and control the newborns. Without my gift, I would have been useless to her and replaced as easily as she replaced others.

"Rest, Major." Maria broke her song to lightly run her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, trying to relax and obey her command. I didn't want to fight anymore, but I was a little afraid that if I fell asleep now, I wouldn't wake up again. Or worse, I would wake up to find myself in Nettie's clutches.

Habit had me reaching out to read each member of the family. By now, I'd lived with my gift for so long that I could not only read their emotions, but by determining how strong those emotions were, I could determine _where_ they were in the house with a pretty good accuracy.

Maria's emotions were the strongest, since she was not only the closest, but was actually touching me. Despite her brave words and confident appearance downstairs, she was overwhelmingly worried. She wanted me to survive—I could read that easily—but she had her fears that I wouldn't.

She was also feeling tender towards me, which was a bit of a surprise. I knew that she loved me, of course. But I'd always felt that she loved me the way Rosalie loves her cars. She loves them for the way they look, and the work she's put into them, and, most importantly, what they can do for her. She most certainly doesn't feel tender towards them. I filed that thought away for later.

Carlisle's emotions were quite clear as well, so he must be in his study down the hall. He was also worried, but his worry was tempered with a huge dose of guilt. It was hard to be sure, but I suspected that he was guilty because he had hurt me performing his tests. He didn't need to be, and had I been capable of getting my eyes open again, I would have told him so. There was also a simmering anger, though that was no surprise to me. He might not like to acknowledge it, but he was the leader of this coven, and he felt a bit of Maria's same possessiveness towards me. I was his, and therefore, no one had the right to lay a hand on me but him.

As uncivilized and disgusting as he finds that instinct, I don't mind it at all. It's a natural one for a vampire, and I choose to see it as him treating me the same and having the same feelings towards me as he does for the vampires he turned himself.

It was a bit of a stretch to find the others in the house, but I finally located Edward and Bella together downstairs. I don't know Bella that well, but I do know Edward, so I had no trouble detangling his emotions from hers. He was anxious and tight, though my guess would be that his worry was more for Bella's safety than mine. That was typical Edward. It's not that he doesn't care about me, but that he feels like I'm more then capable of handling myself. At the moment I'm not, but that doesn't factor in. In Edward's eyes, the world is very black and white. If I could take care of myself a month ago, I can do it now, too.

Bella was more like a butterfly, flitting from one emotion to another. She was worried about me one second, then feeling lustful (hopefully towards Edward!) then irritated with something or other. Fear didn't factor in at all, but that's Bella for you. This is a girl who runs with vampires and werewolves daily. A human drinker who wasn't even after her probably wasn't even on her radar of the strange.

Rosalie was the faintest, which meant she was probably in the basement, working on one of her cars. Frustration oozed from her body, and I knew that if I could have heard her, I would probably be getting quite the vocabulary lesson. Underneath that frustration was pure fear. Fear for me, and fear for what this could all mean for her. But Rosalie is stubborn, and she buries her fears so deeply that she barely understands that they're there. I see them, but I don't tell her about these things. My gift is intrusive by nature, but there's a large difference between knowing what someone is feeling and throwing it in their face.

Rose can be uncommonly astute, and she realizes that I know more about her than she tends to know about herself. Sometimes, once she's calmed down after a particularly vicious fight, she'll ask me what I was able to absorb while it was happening. It surprises her to hear that she felt fear or anxiety, but she never doubts me.

I was trying to fix on Peter and Charlotte, but I couldn't find them. A grey fog had settled in my brain, blinding me and dampening my gift. Before I realized that I was even that tired, I fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up a short time later, there was a stranger in the room with me. It was a male vampire, so I knew it wasn't Nettie, but I have a long list of enemies. Any one of them could be waiting for their opportunity to do me harm.

I struggled to my feet and backed into the corner, baring my teeth in a savage hiss. I might be weak and sick, but I was still the fucking God of War, and I wouldn't taken down easily.

"Jasper, easy, easy!" The stranger put his hands up in a gesture of surrender, but I wasn't going to buy that. "Dude, settle down."

Now he was the one who was backing up, which allowed me to press forward. I could have this vampire decapitated before he could injure me. Unfortunately, I must have telegraphed what I was about to do, because he was able to avoid my lunge. He got the bed in between us. "CARLISLE! SOMEONE! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? JASPER'S GONE FUCKING CRAZY AGAIN!"

Whoever this Carlisle was, I could take him down, too. I didn't like destroying other vampires, but this was a matter of life and death, and I wasn't going to come out the loser in this fight.

Vampires poured into the room, confusing me. My gift had gone haywire, and I didn't know who to try and attack first. There were four males, but at least two of them would be easy to take out. One, the only one who seemed familiar, dropped into a protective crouch. The fourth, the one who had originally been in the room, was huge, and might be able to get me down on brute strength alone. Three females were fanned out in the doorway, but there wasn't enough space for them to enter the room. That made it at least seven on one, which weren't odds I liked. Who were these vampires, and why had I failed to see them coming? They were all talking, but the words turned into a confusing jumble. My head was pounding miserably and I just couldn't make sense of anything that was happening.

I was about to beat a strategic retreat by leaping out the window when a familiar voice rang out. "Jasper, stand down!" A small form pushed in between the other vampires. "Stand down!"

That was Maria, and my body automatically tried to obey her command. I wouldn't let it completely relax, though. My mind was spinning, trying to figure out a way to get out of this, but I had taken too long already. Two vampires, the only ones with red eyes, had blocked me from the window. My back was still against the wall, but otherwise, I was hemmed in.

"Major, this is my last warning. Stand. Down." She didn't raise her voice, but I knew that disobeying her now was going to be a huge mistake. I didn't understand what was happening, but I had to trust that she wouldn't let me be too badly harmed.

I stood down.

Once it had become clear that there would be no fight, Maria seized control of the room. "Away from the door, now. How are you going to follow him if you won't let him out of the room?"

What did that mean? I would never leave Maria to these strangers, so there would be no reason for them to follow me.

But even as I thought it, I felt the pull. Something was telling me it was time to go, even if it meant leaving Maria defenseless. I should have at least tried to fight it, but for some reason, that didn't seem important. Whoever was calling me, they were the one I needed to be with.

The doorway was clear, and no one tried to stop me as I pushed through it and down the stairs. The big vampire, the one who had been in the room originally, nodded. "Showtime."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Merry Christmas to all of my readers who celebrate! Edward is my hardest POV to write, but I thought that he deserved a chance to talk about Jasper as well.

Edward

I have to say, with Jasper around, our lives are never boring. This, at least in my opinion, is not exactly a good thing. I like things neat and tidy, with a perfectly laid out routine to follow. Having Jasper around is like having a tornado in a bottle. Most of the time it's perfectly contained, but when it escapes, it destroys everything in its path.

Now, I don't mean to make it sound like I don't like the guy, because I do. He's my brother, as much as Emmett is, but that doesn't make me blind to his faults. (By the way, I'm not blind to Emmett's, either. Does he have a volume setting less than ten? And don't even get me started on his and Rosalie's predilection for sex in every room _but_ their specially soundproofed bedroom. It's beyond disgusting).

Yes, I like Jasper now, but it took a long time for me to feel that way towards him. For the longest time after he joined our family, he was snippy, aggressive, stubborn, and completely uncivilized. He had zero idea of how to live in a family, and spent most of his time glaring at us for daring to speak to or try and interact with him. And God forbid you tried to do anything with Alice. He wasn't possessive in an abusive way, but he was extremely overprotective.

All of that I could have put up with. I mean, I could read his thoughts, at least in the beginning, and there was no real malice behind anything he did, just an animal-like wariness. No, the problem was that, in addition to all of his other problems, Jasper was _smart_.

It took him no time at all to figure out what behavior was expected of him in our family, and how to perform those behaviors perfectly. Shower every single day, even though we didn't sweat or really get dirty? Check. Smile at other family members and make banal small talk about our days? Check. Work hard on the schoolwork he was presented with, even though he would be doing the same thing twice a decade for the foreseeable future? Right on. Act like a perfect and obedient member of the family? Done.

The only problem was, it was completely fake. Jasper performed those behaviors reflexively, like a trained dog. He didn't smile out of happiness, he did it because one of us had smiled at him, and he could logically deduce that he was expected to smile back. He obeyed Carlisle out of a grudging respect and no small amount of fear, but absolutely no love. It was like having a robot in the house that almost understood how to be human, and came close enough to be creepy, but didn't quite pull it off.

I knew all of this, because I read it in his thoughts. At least I did for the first two months, before he came up with an excellent system of blocking me, leaving me helpless. I tried to bring it up to Carlisle once or twice, but all I got was a sharp rebuke for not respecting Jasper's privacy and a reminder that my gift did not give me permission to spy on my siblings. That snooping in Jasper's thoughts was just as bad as rifling through his possessions. It's a lecture I've received in the past, and will probably receive again in the future. Like it was my fault there was a feral dog in our house! All I was trying to do was keep the family safe.

Since I had lost my ability to read his mind, unless he was very distracted, I became an avid Jasper-watcher, trying to figure out what made him tick. Except I might as well have been watching an alien form, because nothing he did made sense to me, and I certainly wasn't going to let him know I was on to him by asking for clarification.

Looking back, I can say that I'm very, very grateful that I'm the mind reader in the family, and no one else has that talent. Because I would have been ashamed for anyone else to know what I was up to, or that the only good feelings I could summon for Jasper were in relation to Alice. He was just what I had to put up with to be able to keep her around.

He knew it, too. Over the years, the family has devised various ways to get around my gift, but to this day, no one has been able to escape Jasper's. I knew that he was faking a relationship with the rest of the family, and he knew that I knew, and that I was faking one with him. Without ever speaking a word to each other, we managed to come to a mutual agreement that we would keep each other's secrets.

And that was the extent of our bond for the first two decades Alice and Jasper were with us. He didn't care in the slightest that we were strangers living in the same house, and probably would have been content to leave our relationship that way for the rest of time.

It bothered me, though. Carlisle expected us to be a family, and families loved each other. Jasper was capable of that love by this time. He spent tons of time with Rosalie, wrestled with Emmett, and followed Esme around like a lost puppy. He had even begun to talk to Carlisle, and had recently picked up the habit of resting his chin on my father's shoulder so they could read the same page of a book or newspaper. The sight of that nearly killed me with jealousy. Carlisle had been mine first, and now the brother I didn't even like and certainly didn't ask for was moving in on him.

I honestly wasn't sure when things changed. Maybe we had both managed to pull the old 'fake it 'til you make it' until we were actually successful. Or maybe Jasper was no more bonded to me than he had ever been, and this was a one-sided relationship. Like I've said before, it's hard to tell with Jasper.

All of this made it a little ironic that I was the one chasing after him now. Had he been in his right mind, I'm sure I'm the last of the Cullens he would want anywhere near him.

But I'm the fastest one in the family, which was quite the bonus, since Jasper was moving as fast as I've ever seen him, to the point where I was having a little trouble keeping up. It also didn't help that he wasn't sticking to the paths. He had a trail all of his own, and just plowed through anything in his path without regard for either nature or even the smallest amount of safety.

Vampires may have the grace of a jungle cat and the night vision of a bat, but it's hard to keep both of them functional while running as quickly as you can. Twice I stumbled into dips or potholes, allowing my brother to pull in front of me. Jasper himself seemed to float over all obstacles in his path, completely unaware of them. He had a destination in mind, and he wasn't going to be deterred from it.

I couldn't even hear the rest of the family by now, causing unease to curl in my gut. If this turned bad, and I couldn't see how it wouldn't, I was alone. I might be able to use my gift to hold my own against Jasper, but there was still Nettie to consider, not to mention any vampires that might be with her. I swallowed the venom that suddenly welled up in my throat.

Dimly, I realized that we were following the same path now that we had the first day Jasper was sick. Up the side of the mountain, much farther then we usually went. Past a beautiful little lake that all of the Cullen couples used to have a little alone time with their chosen partner. Alice's vision had sent us to the right place, but Nettie had been quicker than we were and escaped.

Without warning, something lunged out of the forest at my side. I was barely able to keep from attacking it before I realized that it was one of the wolves. How he had known where to find me, or that Jasper was in trouble, was a mystery, but not one I had time to try and decipher. It was the one with the small white mark on the chest. Jasper would have known which one that was, but I had no idea. All I knew was that it was nearly keeping pace with me, as focused on Jasper as I was. I didn't trust that this wolf held any good feelings for me, especially with what had happened in the clearing, but I could hope that he was one who had a soft spot for Jasper.

We were all traveling so quickly that we ended up in a huge pile-up when Jasper abruptly stopped and turned around. The wolf yelped in pain as my elbow smashed into its side. Even though I still hated them, I hoped that I hadn't broken its ribs or worse.

Jasper rolled away from us and back to his feet, his face twisted in agony. "Go! Damn it, Edward, get out of here. She's not alone, and she'll kill you!" His rigid limbs and wide eyes betrayed what an effort it was for him to force out the words. "Please, she'll make me . . ." The words trailed off in a desperate whimper of pain. "Please."

At the same time, the wolf's fur rose in a perfect line down its back. He (and I was pretty sure it was a he) turned to me, the whites showing all around his eyes. A strange voice invaded my head. _It's a trap! She knows that Maria's here, and that we're on to her. She's trying to divide us up so she can take us down._

"How many are there?" I was looking at the wolf, but I hoped that Jasper, our master strategist, would have an answer as well.

"Too many." Jasper's voice was grave, and the wolf gave a quick whimper of agreement. "Go." He was swaying on his feet now, his body jerking left and right as he fought against Nettie and her thrall. At the same time, I heard voices coming closer.

There was no way. How could I face the rest of my family, knowing that I had left Jasper in danger? He reached out and touched the wolf on its muzzle, his fingertips barely making contact. I knew he was pushing some emotion on it, Jasper's way of speaking without words. Whatever he had told the wolf, it nodded and turned away. If I wanted to protect Jasper now, I was on my own.

"Please. You're nothing to her, Edward, and she'll kill you right now. Get the rest of the family. It's our only chance."

He was right. I had no idea how to fight, and would be useless against even a single other vampire. But there were many up there, and there was also the chance that Nettie would be able to turn Jasper against me. If she did that, he would destroy me before I could even consider running away.

So I did the only thing I could do: I ran. The wolf raced along at my side, not making a single sound. I expected him to veer off and disappear once we got closer to the Rez, but he kept right by me, even as we neared the house. I wondered what he thought of me right now. From what I had seen of the pack, they were as close as could be. None of the wolves would have left a brother behind.

The thought twisted at my guts. If I had ever doubted that Jasper was my brother, and that I loved him as much as I did Emmett, those doubts were long gone. Leaving him there had been the hardest thing I had ever done.

Without realizing it, I had slowed down as I drew closer to the house. I could tell that the rest of the family was already in there, having lost track of both Jasper and me, and I couldn't face them.

A furry body pressed against my side, whining to get my attention. Once I bothered noticing him, I realized that he had been trying to get my attention for a while. "What!" It came out rudely, but I didn't care.

The yellow eyes narrowed. These wolves were spooky, not only because of their size, but because some of their expression were so human. _I could hear them. The other vampires._

"So could I. They weren't being very quiet." I had no idea what he was trying to get at.

_No. I could hear them in my head, like they were members of the pack. That can't happen, period. Even if there were another pack involved, I wouldn't hear their thoughts. There's one female in charge, and she's worried about a vampire named Maria._

Nettie. He was talking about Nettie and Maria, but there was no way he should know about either one of them. They weren't part of the Cullen family, and they hadn't been there in the clearing before we were attacked. This was something new and I had no idea how to deal with it. I needed Carlisle.

The wolf must have been having the same thoughts, because a soft _I need Sam _fluttered through my mind. It wasn't something that he had meant to let me hear, so I pretended I hadn't. "What do you think we should do?"

_Get the others and have another meeting. Somewhere safe, though, so we can't be attacked again_. His golden eyes, so like mine in color but so different at the same time, flared in the dark. _I've already called them, and Sam wants to know if your place is acceptable._

I was surprised that he would cede the home turf advantage, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And having your brother fall right into the hands of the enemy was about as desperate as it got. And if she was able to make Jasper talk, the entire wolf pack was in danger as well. "It is." The mental voices of my family, always background noise to me, suddenly became very clear. They knew I was home, and they were hoping that Jasper was with me.

I had no idea how to tell them that he wasn't, especially Alice. More than my sister, she was my best friend, and I was going to have to tell her that I had all but handed Jasper over to the biggest threat we had ever faced.

Sure enough, she was the first one at the door, her eyes scanning past me to look for her mate. The way her face fell when she saw it was only me was crushing. She didn't even notice the wolf at my side. "Alice, I—"

I was cut off by her small hand flashing out and slapping me across the face. The force of the blow spun me backwards and caused me to trip over that fucking dog. He squealed in pain for the second time that night. Stupid puppy. If he didn't want to be knocked into by vampires then he should have stayed in the fucking den with his littermates.

To add insult to injury, Alice started fussing over the stupid mutt like it was her precious baby. "Oh, Quil, honey, come here. Did he hurt you?"

With a glare that could have frozen the very fires of hell, she scooped the wolf up like it was nothing but a puppy and carried him inside. If the rest of the family hadn't started appearing, she probably would have slammed the door in my face.

In other words, if I couldn't come back with Jasper, I shouldn't have bothered coming back at all.

Vampires can no more cry than we can sleep or conceal ourselves in the sunlight, but I felt the smarting in the back of my eyes anyway. Even if Alice had been understanding (and really, what was there to understand? I had lost her mate, possibly forever. It was that simple) I would have felt her secret resentment. Had it been Bella who was lost, I wouldn't have been able to look at Alice either. Trying to explain myself to her would be pointless, so I turned to the empty hallway. "Carlisle?" It came out in a tiny peep, one that I could barely even hear myself.

But he could. He didn't look at Alice, or the cur, or anyone else. He just pushed forward and grabbed me, looking me over for injuries. "Edward, son, are you all right? What happened?"

I tried to keep my voice steady and failed miserably. "Dad, I . . . I lost Jasper! I'm sorry; I didn't want to leave him."

"I know. Be calm and tell me what happened." His words caused me to give an undignified and slightly hysterical snort of laughter. The one time I really needed Jasper and his gift, and he was gone.

"He was too fast. By the time I caught up to him, that stupid wolf was there and she was too close. I wanted to stay, but Jasper said not to. Nettie has an army with her. It would have been suicide." I could hear the almost-whine in my voice, and I hated it, but I couldn't stop. Carlisle had to believe me or I would never make it.

He nodded, but Maria cut him off before he could even begin to speak. "Is that how you remember it as well, wolf? What was your name again?"

The wolf, now in human form and dressed in a shirt of Emmett's that was still tight across the chest, nodded. "Quil. And I mostly agree with him."

Wait, mostly? Everything I had said was true. Maria held up a hand to silence me. "Quil, tell me your version of what happened."

"Sam has us patrolling the Rez pretty much constantly now. Just because this bitch has a grudge against Jasper right now, that doesn't mean that she won't get hungry along the way. I could smell a bunch of them, but none of them were you guys, so I tried sneaking closer. I got a pretty good view, but then I heard Jasper and . . . um . . . Edward?" We all nodded and he went on. "Jasper and Edward coming up. He's right, Jasper told us to go before we got killed." He was squirming visibly under Maria's crimson stare. "Can I call Sam? I forgot to tell him where I was before I phased back." That was a lie, but Maria had no way of knowing it.

"I'm sure that you're welcome to the Cullens' phone service, but I have one more question first. What do you disagree with Edward on?"

"Oh. Well, it's not really an army with her. Maybe ten or fifteen vampires, tops, all male. She's the boss and the only woman." He was trying so hard to stay brave, but he was obviously scared shitless. I had to give him credit for the effort, though, since most humans wouldn't have even tried.

Maria latched on to that comment. "You're sure? You're one hundred percent sure that Nettie is the only female in the group?"

He looked confused, but nodded. "Yes, the rest were all male."

"Edward, do you concur with this?" Her red eyes were sparking, and I knew that something important was happening.

I hadn't really paid attention to it at the time, so I closed my eyes and thought back, trying to focus on higher voices or more feminine thoughts. "Yes. I don't recall hearing or seeing any other females."

Her eyes were narrow and confused. "Then where's Lucy? Those two are inseparable. Nettie would never leave her behind."

"Lucy's dead." Alice had re-emerged, looking hollow-eyed and ten years older than she had just a week ago. "That's why she's here now to take Jasper. Lucy's dead and she knows that she has nothing left to live for."

If Nettie destroyed Jasper, that was how my beloved little sister would end up as well. Nothing to live for, a shell that was going to destroy everything around her. Or, more likely in Alice's case, just destroy herself.

But it made sense. It had been years, maybe even as long as a century, since Jasper had let Lucy and Nettie go. Unless Jasper had been lying earlier, and I could see no reason for him to have done so, there had been no contact between them in the intervening years. Something had to have changed for Nettie to be seeking him out now, and without Lucy, there was only one logical conclusion.

But why? It wasn't Jasper's fault that Lucy was gone. Actually, his mercy had gifted both Lucy and Nettie life beyond what they should have had. So why turn on him now?

_Grief isn't rational, Edward_. _That's what makes it so dangerous, and so difficult, even for me_. _Grief can turn on you._ It was like Jasper had whispered in my ear, so clear that I actually looked behind me. He was too far away for me to hear his thoughts, but he wasn't here, either. Great, now I had a tiny Jasper living in my head, as if we didn't have enough problems at the moment.

"What's she going to do to him?" Quil asked the question that no one else was brave enough to. "Is she going to kill him?"

"Possible, but doubtful." Maria was in full-on battle general mode, her red eyes boring into us like lasers. "As I said before: Nettie is _mean_. Killing Jasper is too simple. She wants to make him suffer. Which is really a point in our favor, if you think about it."

He might not have been my favorite brother, but Jasper suffering was not something I wanted to think about, no matter how many points it might bring into our favor.

"How so?" See, this is why Carlisle is the leader and not me. He can hear the hard stuff and still manage to function.

"My Major is strong enough to suffer until we can get him. I taught him that. Death is permanent, even for vampires. If she keeps him to torment, we still have a chance to save him."

She spoke so calmly, like it wasn't a vampire of her own creation she was talking about. But of course she felt that way. After all, she had just admitted to torturing him herself, all in the guise of making him 'strong.' Seldom did the disparity between our upbringings appear so stark.

"How do we get him back?" Bella was trying so hard to be strong, but her increasing fear was obvious.

For the first time, Maria faltered. Despite her air of bravado, she had no idea what to do. Fortunately, she was saved by the arrival of the Pack. They were far noisier than before, and I swear I saw one of them pee on our landscaping. That one must be the one with the childish crush on Bella. Ugh.

This time I counted six wolves in addition to Quil, who was still standing in the living room. They filed in silently, nearly filling the living room. Maria blanched and subtly moved behind a piece of furniture. Like that would make her invisible to a bunch of slavering beasts.

The darkest wolf stopped in front of me and sat. _Is there a room we might use to phase back and change into some clothing? It will make conversation easier._

Reading the thoughts of the Pack was far different then reading those of a human, or even another vampire. Those thoughts were more like reading a book. They were simple and unemotional. The Pack was used to communicating this way, so they threw their questions and comments at me with force. It was a bit disorienting, and I wondered if this was what Jasper's gift was like all the time. If it was, I felt a great surge of pity for him.

I pointed at the same room Quil had used. "In there. You can borrow Emmett's stuff if you don't have anything of your own." Not only was he the only person in the house who came close to matching the wolves in physical size, he was also the only one who wouldn't throw a tantrum because of the smells that would be lingering on his things, despite washing them.

Once they had all padded off, Maria managed to pull herself together. "Even if it's only ten newborns, that's still too many."

Emmett snorted. "Please. There's a bunch of us, and they're newborns. How hard can it be?"

Maria didn't live with our family, and thus had no filters when it came to my gift. They were not particularly complementary towards us as a family, but she tried to be as inoffensive as possible when she spoke. "That's true. In terms of sheer numbers, we have the advantage. However, these are creatures with many times our raw strength. Peter, Charlotte, and I know how to handle a raging newborn. Can anyone else here claim that?" We all kind of shook our heads, and she nodded. "So it's four against ten. How many of you are willing to rip the head of a newborn vampire right off of its body? Who's willing to hold the matches?"

"I would. You fuck with my Jasper, you deserve to die." Rose had her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed over her chest.

For once, I was glad for her strength and attitude, because I wasn't sure that I could do it. In the heat of the moment, like it had been when were attacked in the clearing, my instincts had done a lot of the work for me. Even so, I wasn't completely sure that I had actually killed anyone.

"Me, too." There was no doubt in Alice's voice. Behind her, Emmett was nodding.

"I'll destroy them." Even Esme was willing to fight.

"Esme!" Carlisle sounded shocked.

She didn't back away. "You mess with one of my babies, Carlisle, you are _dead._ Any mother would feel the same."

And Jasper didn't feel like this family loved him as much as they loved their 'real' kids. When we got him back (and I refused to think that anything else could possibly happen), I would have to have Alice tell him all about this moment.

This left me, Carlisle, and the Denalis as the odd vampires out. At least they had an excuse. Jasper wasn't their family, not really. He was our brother, son, husband, friend. To them, he was more like a second cousin. Even though we had lived there for two years, there was still a division between us and them. They had already done their part by just being here. It was unfair to ask them for more.

"I've spent four hundred years dedicating myself to healing and preserving life at all costs. I can't just destroy these newborns. They don't know any other way. Jasper was exactly like them at one point. Esme, any one of those newborns could be your son."

She was totally unmoved. "But they aren't. Jasper is ours, and they're hurting him. We can't save them all, Carlisle." She turned to Maria. "Whatever you need us to do, we'll do it."

"I don't know what I can do, but I can try." Bella had been keeping quiet, but she piped up now.

Carlisle looked to me for help, but I looked down. Usually I don't get caught up in the alpha male posturing, but even I was embarrassed to have all four women in the house be braver then I was. I clenched my jaw. "Okay, I'm in."

With the rest of the family in agreement, Carlisle had nothing left to fight with. "Can we at least agree not to cause more harm than strictly necessary? Our main objective is to get Jasper out of there and home safe. I understand that Nettie might need to be destroyed, but can't we leave the newborns unmolested? They didn't choose to be pawns in this game."

Maria smiled, and I saw a side of her that Jasper had talked about a few times. The playful side that really liked manipulating. "I suppose that would be acceptable. This is your territory, not mine, and you're responsible for what happens within it. May I ask a question, though?"

"Certainly." Carlisle was walking straight into her plot, but there was no way for me to warn him without being too obvious.

"I understand fully that you want to preserve the existence of these newborns, because their lives are precious to you. That's an admirable stance to take. But what about the humans who will become their meals? Are their lives not equally precious? Or is this a case of only loving those who are exactly like you? You know, vampires?" Her face was a mask of perfect innocence.

She was stirring us up on purpose. She was worried about Jasper, and furious with Nettie, so she was antagonizing us. I'm sure there were still more emotional things going on, but reading them is Jasper's talent, not mine.

To his credit, Carlisle didn't rise to the bait. Instead he nodded slowly. "It's a thought that's occurred to me, certainly. There's always a chance that they'll choose a vegetarian lifestyle. If not, that's a tragedy, but it's not for me to act as the judge and executioner both."

Behind his back, Rose drew her finger across her throat, then mimed lighting a match. She, for one, had no qualms performing the dual role.

"Interesting view." Even Maria didn't have the energy to keep this up for very long.

"Why are we just sitting here?" Alice was trembling with anxiety. "We need to be coming up with a plan. If we wait, Jasper could die."

"If we rush in there without thinking this through, we _all_ will die." Maria had no time to soften the blow. "By my count, we have eight willing to fight. Three experienced, five not, against fifteen newborns. It's not very good odds."

"You have us." Sam stood there, looking rather uncomfortable in Emmett's 'Dook Sucks' T-shirt. I don't understand why my brother refuses to grow up and dress like an adult like the rest of us. "The decision has been made that we will assist your family as long as we are needed."

From the pinched look on his face, I would guess that the assistance wasn't his idea. But his help, however grudgingly offered, might make the difference.

Maria certainly thought so. She nodded slowly, the gears obviously turning in her head. "This could work. Five wolves, eight vampires . . . we just might win this thing if we're smart about it."

"Even if we get Jasper back, how are we going to fix what Nettie's done to him? Having him physically isn't going to fix his illness." Carlisle was going back to what he knew, which was the medical portion of things.

"Let's kill her. If she's dead, she can't hurt him," Quil piped up, earning him a glare from Sam. Wisely, he hushed.

Rose was under no such constraint. "I agree with the mutt. Cut her head right off. That'll solve everything."

I wasn't so sure. As much as I love Jasper (and I really do. He's not what I would have chosen, but neither is Emmett. Jasper works in this family, and that's all that matters) I'm quite familiar with the saying 'fools rush in'. We needed to be smart about this.

"She's hurting him. We're standing here talking about what to do, and Nettie's torturing my mate." Alice paced restlessly, looking more like Jasper than ever. There was a wildness about both of them that wasn't present in any of the rest of us. When I looked at Maria, though, I saw where Jasper, and by extension Alice, had gotten it.

"First things first." Maria was brisk. "We can't concentrate on healing Jasper if we don't have him at all." Then she did something that made my jaw drop. A girl from centuries ago whipped out an iPhone and started tapping away. "Alice, you first. You had a vision of a lake, correct? That has to be where she's holding him. We need the coordinates. Then teen wolf and you"—she pointed at me—"chime in with where you last saw him. If there are really fifteen newborns, she'll have to be keeping them in her sight at all times, which is a good thing. We're probably not looking at any more than a mile radius around either one of those places. If we're smart, we'll be able to ambush them."

At least, that was what her mouth said. Her thoughts were significantly less optimistic. She believed that we would be victorious, yes, but she also knew the odds that we were really facing. Bare minimum, she thought we were looking at the loss of two vampires and a wolf. Other than her thoughts, though, she appeared confident and in control.

Now I knew where Jasper got his ability to cover his emotions from.

It took a further two hours to hash out our plans, during which time I was treated to the thoughts of most of the family members. Usually, it's not so bad, since they've all built up various degrees of resistance to me, but no one was paying any attention to that right now. Everyone was worried, and frightened, and second guessing Maria, and I just wanted to clamp my hands over my ears and scream for them to shut up already.

The worst was Alice, though. She had drawn apart from the rest of us, standing quietly and staring at the pictures lining the living room wall. There was one of her and Jasper's wedding, but she wasn't looking at that one. Instead she was looking at one of her and Jasper taken just a few years ago, when we still lived in Alaska. It was her favorite, even though Jasper wasn't really smiling in it. Still, it did capture something about him that none of the wedding pictures did. Something that spoke of his quiet and his turmoil and all of the secrets that were hidden just below the surface. He was a complicated creature, even for a vampire.

Bella stood next to her, one arm tentatively around Alice's shoulders. They weren't talking, because there was nothing to say. Until we had Jasper back, we were broken.

Alice was aware of Bella, just like she was aware of all of us, but she barely had a thought to spare for any of it. She was too consumed imagining everything that could be happening to Jasper right now, none of it good. She and she alone knew what he had suffered before at this woman's hands. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't. Jasper was suffering right now; there was no doubt about it. Our only hope was that we could get to him in time, before the damage was permanent.

Jasper's gift was powerful, but it had a very limited range. He could recognize our family from a little over a mile, but couldn't manipulate from that distance. With a stranger, he couldn't read very well from even half that distance. He must have been twenty miles out now, and there was no way he could read me. But I tried to send him hope and comfort, as best as I could. Maybe, somehow, he would be able to feel me.

_"Help me."_ The voice was strange, but the cadence, the whispery quality, was all Jasper. _"Please."_

We all looked over at the wolf who had spoken. He was staring at nothing, his eyes glassed over. I think it was Jasper's wolf again; the one he had a small connection with already. Sam stared. "Quil? What's going on?"

Our family, too, was focused. What had been a few distracted murmurs between Jasper and the Pack had suddenly opened up into a two-way communication. But who was causing it? Was Jasper reaching out with his gift, somehow catching on to the tail end of what was already telepathic communication between the members of the Pack? Or was it Quil? Had he somehow dragged Jasper into their world? I guessed that the fault could even lie with Nettie. Whatever she had done to Jasper's brain to make him sick could also be making him receptive to their communication.

Seth whistled. "This just got really weird."

Maria stepped forward. If our family had recognized Jasper, she had as well. She stepped forward and stared Quil in the face. "Jasper? Baby, is that you?"

"Yes." The dark eyes blinked rapidly, and Quil's head shook from side to side. "I am . . . I am . . . I . . ." As he stuttered, his voice changed, becoming that of a stranger. He gave one final, hard, blink and startled backwards. "Jesus, leech lady, get out of my face!"

He was gone. Quil backed into Sam, deeply frightened by what was going on. Clearly he had some memory of Jasper seizing control of his body. "Sam? I want this to stop."

"Yeah, we all do." Sam's voice was strong, but his thoughts were whirling. Before, he had been willing to help to maintain the peace, and because Quil had begged. He hadn't really believed that his Pack was in danger. But now it was clear that we were all in this together, for better or worse.

And I couldn't help but feel like it was going to get way worse before it got any better.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Sorry about the long delay on this one. My beta has gone MIA with the chapter, so any mistakes found are my own. I'm very hopeful that she is alright, and that RL has just gotten in the way for her right now.

Jasper POV

It hurt. Over the past two weeks, my concept of overwhelming pain had been greatly expanded, but this was something else. This was pure agony, visited on me for no other reason then to cause me to suffer.

Now that I was here, my brain had cleared for the first time since this had all started. Without that mental fog, I suddenly saw what I should have from the beginning. I knew Nettie. I knew what she was like, and, most importantly, I knew what her power was. I had seen too many newborns showing the exact same symptoms that I had. If I had been in my right mind, I would have recognized that I was under her influence, and maybe been able to keep myself out of this situation in the first place.

My arms ached from the position they had been forced into for the past few hours. Or days. Or weeks. Time tended to be fluid when there was this amount of agony floating around. I had a newborn holding each arm at an unnatural angle behind my back. I stared stubbornly ahead, refusing to give anyone the pleasure of seeing me struggle to get free. If I had to sit here unmoving until eternity, so be it.

Though that might be preferable to what I knew was coming. Nettie had no desire to kill me, not yet, but she had absolutely no compunctions about making me suffer. Actually, the more I suffered, the better.

She was gone now, which made it worse. At least if she was here, torturing me, I knew where she was. When she was gone, the anticipation of her return was far more painful.

"Hello, Jasper." Her sweet voice made my skin crawl. I let my eyes flutter closed and tried to center myself against the suffering that I was sure was about to start. Pointed talons dug into my jaw and yanked my head upright. "Oh, I don't think so, my Major. Remember, I was with Maria before you were. She taught you how to build up your mental walls. Well, she taught me how to break them. If you think I've made you suffer so far, you have no idea what's to come."

At least she was alone. Edward and Quil were both fast enough to escape her, I was sure of that, but I was afraid that they would try and play the heroes and stay with me, which would doom both of them. They were less then nothing to Nettie, and she wouldn't hesitate to kill both of them.

Just because they had escaped, though, it didn't mean that she wouldn't hunt them down. Or the rest of the family. If she wanted to destroy me the way she had been destroyed by losing Lucy, she would go after the Cullens.

It was what I would have done in her place.

What? I love my life with the Cullens and I'm eternally grateful for the chance to let someone else lead things for a while. They've taken me in, and shown me a way that doesn't involve having to fight for everything you get. Most importantly, they made me strong enough to keep Alice and make her proud of me.

But that didn't mean that I had lost all the skills that made me the most feared vampire in both of the Americas. If anyone threatened me, or took one of my coven away, there was no end to how vicious I can truly be. Which was why I hated Nettie, but there was a part of me that totally understood her.

Only this wasn't my fault. I had done nothing to Lucy. Once I released them I had never thought to try and keep tabs on them. There were there, then they were gone, and I had to get back to Maria before she realized that something was amiss. They were no longer there to torment me, so I was content.

After I left Maria, I tried not to think about my life with her at all. Partially because I was so confused about trying to live among humans for the first time since I was turned, and partially because…well…I missed her. I loved Peter and Charlotte both, but I was their maker, they weren't mine. I was automatically cast in a caretaker role for them, like a parent, when I could barely take care of myself. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

"Jaaaaaassssppeeeeer?" She drew my name out into a sing-song manner, her fingers tightening further, until my jaw creaked in protest. Despite myself, I winced. "There you go. The faster you realize who is in change here, the happier you and I will both be."

Somehow, I doubted that my happiness factored in here. "Where's Lucy?" The words came out slurred because of the way she was holding me. That was it, show her no fear. If I was going to die (and it seemed pretty inevitable at this point), I wasn't going to go out like a coward.

"That's unimportant right now. What is important is that you're here now, and you and I have a lot of catching up to do. Now, where…should…we…start?" With each word, she poked a different part of my body. Ear, chest, side, hip. Then she shot forward and bit into the side of my neck. The burning was immediate, and I had to clench my teeth against the pain.

I had forgotten painful this was. Steady now, Jasper, don't scream. Don't give her the pleasure.

I had to focus on something else, so I wouldn't end up humiliating myself. So I resorted to my default behavior, which was reading emotions. It didn't require me to exert myself physically, but it did take a fair amount of mental effort.

The most prevalent emotion was hate. It rolled across everything, hot and red. She hated me, she hated the Cullens, she hated her newborns. Everyone she came in contact with, she hated.

That was the Nettie I remembered.

Under the hate though, was a sadness that had never been there before. Deep down, Nettie missed Lucy. Despite, or maybe because of, their shared insanity, they were still best friends. If I had lost Peter….

Except it seemed like it would be Peter losing me. But he would be able to handle it. I knew my Pete, and he would be strong enough to cope.

"What are you thinking my newborn boy?" Her voice was mocking me. "Are you pretending that you are somewhere else?"

Not exactly. But that wasn't a bad idea. Or, better yet, I could pretend that _she _was somewhere else. Like Siberia. Or the middle of the ocean, or-

Pain surged through my shoulder and chest, and I realized that she had bitten me again. That was followed by a quick smack across the face. "By the time I'm done with you, Jasper, you'll wish I had killed you when I first had the chance."

I couldn't help it. I screamed. Then everything went black.

When I came back to myself, it was just Nettie and I in the room, the two newborns were gone. She reached towards me, and I flinched back. A smile curled at her lips. She was trying to break me, and she thought that she was succeeding.

She wasn't. I feared her, yes, but fear is a healthy emotion. Fear makes you cautious and alert. That alertness would allow me to escape when the opportunity presented itself. I just had to be ready.

"Now, now. There's no point in us spending time together, if you're just going to sleep right through it. As one of Maria's first turned, I'll be assuming her duties in her absence. That includes taking care of you."

Ah, yes. Because her care was so loving and pure. But as long as she was pretending to care, she wasn't hurting me. I kept my gaze level and my mouth closed. She was just trying to psych me out.

"And part of taking care of my poor little Jasper is feeding him, isn't it, Snookums? You're so tired and weak with hunger that you're passing out on me." She patted my face.

I wasn't tired and weak with hunger! I was tiered and weak with pain, because I had a system that was loaded up with venom and-oh, God, no. She wouldn't do this to me. As cruel as she was, there had to be some limits.

But there weren't. Nettie's smile grew larger as she stepped out of sight, bringing back a whimpering human girl. "Look, I brought you something fresh."

My eyes met the girls, and I knew we were both sunk. Blood was streaming down her neck and arms from several small cuts. Nettie wasn't taking any chances that I wouldn't attack this girl.

This was bad. If I killed this girl, I would be the thing I hated most. I would be a murderer, the worst sort of blood-thirsty monster. I would have to face Carlisle with red eyes, and I would almost rather die then feel every bit of his disappointment in me.

The problem was, it was probably going to come down to me taking the high road and dying, or killing this girl and possibly having the strength to continue on. Really, this girl had been dead as soon as soon as she crossed paths with Nettie. Even if I was strong enough to resist hurting her, she was in a camp surrounded by hungry newborns. At the very least, I could ensure that she didn't suffer, and that she wouldn't be raped before she was killed.

Or maybe I was just trying to justify to myself what I had already decided to do.

The girl, who couldn't have been much older then Bella, blinked at me. She wasn't crying or struggling to get away. She just sat there, bleeding and staring at me. "Please don't hurt me." But the words had no passion behind them. We both already knew that she was going to die.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms loosely around them. "I'm sorry." My throat burned with venom, which made it nicely match the bites that Nettie had left.

"This is all incredibly heart-warming, but Jasper here needs to make a choice. Either he eats or he goes hungry. But don't worry, dear, I won't let you go to waste."

Having someone else confirm that this girl was doomed gave me the strength to make my move. I stood and walked over, keeping at a human speed and projecting as much calm as I possibly could. She had to die, but that didn't mean she had to die afraid and in pain.

Years of intense practice have allowed me to hone my gift to razor sharpness, even if my own emotions were in a violent tangle. The girl seemed to be nearly asleep when my teeth broke through her skin, and never stirred or cried out as I drained her completely.

The blood was rich and filling, so much more then the animal blood that the Cullens drank. Even the amount in this small girl was enough to noticeably decrease the burning in my body. It was delicious, and I wanted even more.

But it also tasted like shame. Carlisle wouldn't have killed that girl. He would have been able to resist the sight and smell of her blood until he could think of another way. He wouldn't have given in to his instincts.

_Then Carlisle would have died. That man might be the cock of the walk in his world, but this out of his league. This is my world, and your world, too. Don't ever be ashamed of doing what you need to so that you can survive. _

The voice in my head sounded oddly like Maria. Even though I knew that it wasn't really her, it was a comfort to have someone who could be in charge of things for a minute.

And she was right. Better feel guilty and alive then righteous and dead. I would deal with the guilt and the disappointed family members later, provided I had a later. Now I needed to focus on myself.

"Good boy." I had almost forgotten Nettie was in the room. "You look much more like yourself now. Do you remember the games we used to play?"

Vividly. I also remembered that they were fun only to her. Usually, it ended with me losing limbs. But I nodded anyway, not trusting myself to say anything. If I talked back to her now, when I never had before, she would know that I wasn't as afraid of her as I had once been. Her underestimating me might be the only thing that could save me now.

So I lowered my eyes and nodded. "Yes."

"Which one would you like to play now?" The words were spoken as if I had a choice in the matter.

I shrugged. "Where's Lucy?" Maybe if I asked the question enough, she would answer for me.

"Don't worry about Lucy right now. You have enough to worry about with yourself." She didn't take the bait, not this time. "I'm thinking that it's been far too long wince we've seen each other. Maybe you could show me a little bit of what you've learned in the intervening years? You were becoming such a fighter when you were sent out to kill us."

That comment was meant to sting, and it did. Both Nettie and Lucy treated me poorly, but I didn't know any different. Like most victims, there was a twisted love involved, and there were times when they were kind. Not many, and usually when they wanted something from me, but occasionally. "I don't have to fight where I am."

"That's alright. It will make things a little more fair. Last I recall, you could take a half a dozen newborns at once. Since you're out of practice, let's start with four. You have 10 minutes to prepare yourself while I choose your opponents."

I couldn't. I was better then this, almost a real Cullen. I wasn't some dog who was trained to do nothing but fight in a pit. But I had no choice. My only hope right now was that the Cullens would be here in less then….8 minutes. Maybe I should start getting ready to fight.

The burn was still circulating through my system, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. There was a mental plane that I had to get to, where I could fight without thinking about it.

To make this easier, I broke each step down into a simple command. Stand up. Stretch, especially in the shoulders. Loose limbs were less likely to get ripped off. Work the jaw, think about feeding. That would allow for greater venom production. Pace, pace, pace. Don't settle, keep in motion.

Once my body was moving, it was shockingly easy to fall back into the place I needed to be mentally. 4 newborns, one of me. The clear area here was small, which was good. They would all have to come at me at once, with nowhere for them to hide. They had brute strength, but I had discipline and a level head, and that would win almost every time.

_Unless she sets more then four on you. Be very careful Jasper, she's unpredictable._

That was my fear. But I had already counted the emotional signatures surrounding me, and I only came up with 13, plus Nettie. When I killed the first four, it would be 10 against me. Nettie might be crazy, but she wouldn't risk me escaping. She wouldn't send all of her newborns in at once. But, then, two weeks ago I would have sworn that I would never lay eyes on her again.

_3 minutes. _

Suddenly, I was gone. It was like I blinked and found myself back in the Cullen's living room, surrounded by my family. It was so good to see them all that I didn't realize at first that I was in the wrong body. Too tall, too gangly, too slow. The owner of the body struggled against my invasion, but I was able to push them down. "Help me. Please. "

Everyone else was talking, and I didn't know if I was being heard. Then the biggest wolf, the alpha got right in my face. His power made me uncomfortable, and I tried to shy back, but the body wouldn't move. "Quil? What's going on?"

Someone else was talking in the background, but my control over the body was slipping, and I blocked them out. If I could just get someone to know I was in here…

Maria did. She must have known a vampire she turned, no matter whose body he was currently occupying. "Jasper? Baby, is that you?"

"Yes." I wanted to say more, to tell them where we were and to get here as fast as they could, but the living room was already fading away. "I am….I am….I…." As hard as I tried, I had lost them.

_ 1 minute, Major. Get ready._

I was already there. My back was to a thick tangle of brush. It wouldn't stop a determined newborn, but I was hoping that none of them would be clever enough to try and go through rather then taking the easy route around.

They weren't. When the newborns burst into the clearing, they were like a single mass with only my destruction in mind. Foolish.

Two of them were beheaded before they were halfway to me. Even as I spun away from their corpses, I was tearing the arms off of the third. Once I didn't have to worry about being grabbed and squeezed, it was simple work to remove his head as well. While I was doing that, the fourth lunged, but couldn't connect before I was on him as well. He was larger then I, and a bit older and more level headed then the others. Given enough time, he might have been a good fighter, but that would never be allowed to happen. His head joined the pile. Less then a minute, and four newborns were gone. As much ass I tried to deny or suppress him the Major would always be there, waiting for his chance to get free and fight.

I made sure to look at each face, burning them into my memory forever. I had taken their lives, whether or not I had had an actual choice in the matter, and I felt that I needed to remember exactly who I had killed. Nettie wouldn't remember them. There might be families out there that would, but they would only remember the humans they had once been, not the vampires they had so briefly become. It was such a waste.

While I was leaning down, something slammed into my back, sending me sprawling. Pain flared again as teeth found my nape, grinding in and trying to decapitate me. I bucked desperately, forcing myself to my knees and then free. I left a chunk of the back of my neck in my attacker's mouth, but that was a small price to pay.

"You always were rather sentimental, Jasper." Nettie's voice was mocking. It had been her who attacked me while my back was turned. "Didn't I always tell you it would be your death one day?"

I could have complained about the cowardice of attacking an opponent from behind and with no warning, but there was no point. This was war, and the only rule in war was that you didn't die. If your foe was not paying attention, or injured, or weak, well…that made an easier victory for you, now didn't it? Plus, it wasn't like Nettie would have cared that her act was unfair anyway. So I settled for hissing and savagely baring my teeth.

I could have pressed my advantage there and attempted to drive her back, or even destroy her. It would have solved my immediate problem, but opened up another can of worms. For one thing, killing her might remove me from the hold created by her power, but, then, it might not. If it didn't, then I could conceivable be stuck like this forever, and that was just not a possibility. I would rather walk into the fire myself.

Then there were the newborns. If I took out their leader, I didn't automatically take her place. Instead, I created a power vacuum that they would all be racing to fill. The venom in my boy was already making me weak, and I knew that I was in no condition to take on 10 or more of them at once. Right now, Nettie being alive was providing me a protection I couldn't afford to lose.

And the bitch knew it. Her crimson eyes were laughing at me, telling me that she could do whatever she wanted, because she knew she had me. "But that day won't be today. After all, we've been separated for so long that it would be terribly rude of me to step out on you so quickly. I always strive to be a good hostess. May I get you something else to drink?"

To my utter shame, I found myself hedging. If I said yes, she would feed me for no other reason then she knew I hated feeding on humans. The blood would give me strength that I would desperately need for whatever game she had planned out next. Carlisle and the entire Cullen family were already going to know that I had fed on a human, but they would never be able to tell if it was one or a thousand.

But I didn't _need_ the blood. It would help, but I would manage without it if I had to. Unlike before, the human was still out there, blissfully ignorant of the vampire that was planning to stalk them and end their life. If I told Nettie to get them, it would be because I desired the richness of their blood, and that was not a good enough reason to end someone's life. Even Carlisle never found out, I would know, and I didn't need another death hanging over my head. "No, thank you. I don't find myself particularly hungry at the moment."

"Suit yourself." Her tone was flippant. We both knew that she would break me eventually, so she had no reason to begrudge me this small victory. "What should we do next?"

A headache was forming behind my eyes as I repeated my question for the third time. "Where's Lucy?"

"Oh, you would like for us to exchange pleasantries, instead. How about I answer one of your questions in exchange for you answering one of mine? But we have to be completely honest with each other."

"Ok." My brain felt foggy from her venom, and I shook my head to try and clear it. "Where's Lucy?"

"My, how you harp on that! It's enough to make a woman think that you didn't miss me in the slightest, just her."

"I missed both of you the same." Which was to say not at all, but saying that would be rather unwise.

"Your new coven has taught you to be so diplomatic! I think we both know that you didn't miss either one of us. Tragic, really, after all we did for you."

That was something we could both agree on. Their lessons had been harsh, but I couldn't say that Lucy and Nettie taught me nothing. After all, they had taught me that I was weak and unable to stand up for myself. They had taught me that I couldn't trust my own coven not to turn on me. They had taught me to be alert, and to be cautious, and to work harder if I wanted to make anything of myself. Not all of those lessons were bad, but there had certainly been kinder ways to teach them.

I went quiet and still, just staring. Now that I had her willing to speak, I didn't want to do anything to risk that. Years of practice have allowed me to become very comfortable with silence, much more so then even most vampires.

Sure enough, Nettie broke before I did. "I would like to be the first to ask a question. Would that be acceptable to you?"

"Ladies first." I said it like she had a choice.

"Miss Briana here notwithstanding, who was the last human you killed and when? Did you enjoy killing them?" Nettie certainly knew how to stab and twist the knife.

That was three questions, but I didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize the fragile peace that had descended. "28 years ago, when we lived in Alaska. His name was Keith Bowman and he was out hunting alone. I was hunting, too, and our paths accidentally crossed." Just like the newborns, I kept his name in mind. If I was the one to take a life, I should be the one to remember it.

She nodded sagely. "But you didn't answer my last question. Did you enjoy killing him?"

"No." That wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either. I hadn't enjoyed killing that man, even as I was doing it. I just hadn't been able to stop myself. But what Nettie was really asking me was whether or not I had enjoyed the taste of human blood, and preferred it to the animal blood I usually fed on. The answer to that would be an unequivocal yes.

"Are you lying to me?" She might be crazy, but she's also very astute when you least expect it.

"No. I did not enjoy killing that man, and I wish that it hadn't happened." I stared directly into her eyes, letting her know that I was telling the truth.

"I don't think that you're telling me the entire truth, but we'll let it go for now. After all, it's been a long time since we've seen each other, and we need a little time to relax again. So ask your first question."

"Where's Lucy?" I knew that I sounded like a broken record, but I had to know.

"Do you miss her?" Her tone was mocking again. "It's ok; you don't need to answer that. I already know that you don't. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. You know that I loved her, right? Just like you loved that rotten little Peter that followed you like a puppy."

As dire as the circumstances were, I had to repress a grin at hearing Peter called 'rotten'. He really was. I also knew that it was an apt comparison. There had been nothing sexual between them, just like there was nothing sexual between Pete and I, but the love and bond went far deeper then just friendship. So, yes, I could totally believe that Nettie had loved Lucy. Actually, Lucy may well have been the only person that Nettie loved or was capable of loving. "I do know that you loved her."

"Ah, yes, you were the empath. Well, Lucy is gone and she won't be coming back. She's dead."

I had expected as much. What surprised me was the genuine grief pouring off of her. Whether she had lost Lucy a week ago or fifty years ago, the pain was still incredibly fresh. "What happened?"

"The same thing that always happens. A coven of two can't defend itself like a coven of many. We infringed on someone else's territory, and they came after us. I made it out and she didn't." Her voice was steady and her face impassive. I had always thought I had learned that trick from Maria, but now I was wondering if I hadn't picked more up from Nettie then I previously suspected. It was a disturbing thought.

Nettie smiled at me, an expression that made my skin crawl. "Do you want any more details?"

"No." If she wanted to share them, they must be horrendous. There was enough ugliness in this world without me having to hear all the nitty-gritty of it. "I've had my question answered. You can ask another one if you like." I felt like I had to keep things moving. If Nettie started getting bored of this game, the next one might not be anywhere near as inoffensive.

"How much do you hurt right now?" She put a finger out and pressed it against my injuries, digging in. "Let's see, I count 1, 2, 3, 4 bites. Which one hurts the most and how badly?"

Oh, she was good. Speaking to her had taken my mind off of the venom coursing through my body. But now that she had brought it up, the burn intensified until it was all that I could feel. Either she had gotten much better in the years we had been separated, or I had been so young that I didn't remember how cruel she really was. Slowly but surely, she was breaking me down. If the Cullen's didn't get here soon, there might be nothing left to save.

I looked down. "My neck. It hurts a lot."

"Of course it does. But I'm asking you how much. Why don't we use the 1-10 scale?" She was dragging it out as much as possible.

I froze. If I said 10, she would know that I was lying. If I said anything less then 10, it would encourage her to nip me a few more times, just so I could get to the perfect number. "A lot. 9." I pulled the number out of thin air.

"Only 9? Don't worry, you'll be a 10 and beyond by the time I'm done with you."

Of that, I had no doubt. "Can I ask my next question?"

"Certainly. We'll have plenty of time to revisit my question later." That was Nettie for you. Incapable of speaking without also imparting a veiled threat.

I had suddenly remembered the question I should have asked first. The only one that was important in all of this. "Why now? There's and enormous country for us to leave each other alone in, not to mention Canada and Mexico Why couldn't you just leave me alone? And if you had to come after me, why now?"

She smirked. "What exactly is your question? Why I've chosen to come back and visit with you, or why I chose now? Because you know that that's more then one question."

I leaned my head back to study her. "I'll let you ask two questions next time, too."

"I suppose that that's fair. To answer the question of why, there's a very simple answer. I hate you."

Even though I had known that already, it still hurt to hear. The worst part was, I felt exactly what she did, so I knew that she was telling me the truth. I kept my face very still. She might have scored a direct hit, but I didn't have to let her know that.

Like most, sociopaths, though, she had an uncanny ability to read people. Or maybe I was projecting. When I'm in pain, it's more difficult for me to control my gift.  
"Oh, it's nothing personal. If you were someone else, I would still hate you. It's your gift that ruined everything."

Once she got started, I didn't have to do anything to encourage her to keep going. "Before you came along, it was just the three of us. Lucy, Maria and I. The newborns were nothing. Three women is a small enough coven to attract no attention, and we weren't seeking any. It wasn't until you came along that Maria started getting ideas of armies and huge territories."

That wasn't true. Maria had told us at the Cullen house that she had always wanted an army. The idea had come first, then me, not the other way around. If she and I hadn't met that day, there would have been someone else that could have gotten the job done for her. Maybe not as quickly or as well, but it still would have happened.

There was no point in telling her that, though. Nettie had never liked excuses, and that was what this would be in her mind. No matter that it was the truth. "But if it isn't my fault, why are you punishing me?" 

"Because you're here. Someone has to pay, and I wouldn't dare turn on Maria, so that leaves you. Like I said, it's nothing personal." She actually had the nerve to smile at me, like she thought I would reward her for her crazy thinking.

This was the other reason that I was afraid of Nettie. She knows that it's wrong to punish me when she really wants to punish Maria. She's fully acknowledged that none of this is really my fault. But she just doesn't care. She's willing to not only hurt me, but to specifically seek me out to do so. How does one argue with or defend themselves against that level of insanity?

So I went with the tried and true tactic of trying to distract her. "Why now? I get that you hate me, but you've apparently been hating me for my entire life. What's changed?"

"Lucy didn't want to hurt you. When she was alive, I was willing to abide by her wishes, but no longer."

That did shock me, and, judging by her expression, that shock was projected to Nettie as well. I had always thought that Lucy enjoyed tormenting me as much as Nettie did. To hear that she had stood up for me was shocking, to say the least.

"I know, I can't believe she went soft on me either. But I liked making her happy, and leaving you alone was a small price to pay to keep her that way." Fast as lightening, she grabbed my face again and wrenched my head to the side. The position exposed my neck completely, and she went for the side of it before I could get my hands up. Damn this venom that kept slowing my reflexes!

Instead of biting me, though, she just softly kissed the skin. "Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that her pity will help you now, though. I don't feel bad for you, and I will make you suffer."

Abruptly she clapped her hands like an excited child. "You know what? I'm getting tired of talking so much. I would like for us to be able to have some more time together before you have to leave, and we don't want to waste all of it. What do you think we should do now?"

I looked through the trees, trying to catch even the smallest glimpse of someone who could help me. There was nothing.

No matter what happened now, I was on my own.


End file.
